Just Informed I may be a Father to 5-1/2year old after other guy found out he i...

[stpaul]

So I received an email from an ex girlfriend from 6 years ago claiming that the man she thought was the father of her little girl is not the dad after they took an at home paternity test. She is now insisting that she is mine and wants me to begin taking over fatherly duties. I am shocked! The other guy is hurt and wants no further relationship with the child but has signed the Acknowledgment of Paternity form and his name is on the birth certificate. They have had a father/daughter relationship up until a month ago. My wife and I are shocked, and a little scared. We are not sure what to do. We spoke with a lawyer for some advice and was told there was nothing I could do because the guy signed the acknowledgment of paternity and has been the legal father for over 5-1/2 years. He told me i could possibly challenge it but it would cost thousands. The mother has just informed me that her and the exfather are now challenging the acknowledgment of paternity and trying to remove his name from the birth certificate. I have had no further contact with mother nor any courts. She resides in California and my wife and I live in Texas. What do we do? If it turns out to be true what kind of scarring will this effec the little girl. We dont make millions and cant fly out to see her all the time. What are my options?

[ocean]

You need to make a personal decision if you want to ask for a paternity test to prove if she is your daughter OR you can wait and see if the mother brings you to court for the test.
If the test comes back that she is your daughter, you can set up some times to meet her in CA and then start a visitation schedule around her school breaks/summers for her to start coming to TX. She is still very young and she can be told in childrens terms that you are her father and the other man was like a step-dad to her. She does not need to know all the facts, just that you are her father. You can start out with e-mails to her and pictures/mail/web cam. There are MANY people here that deal with long-distances and could give you advice on what works and where to find airline deals. Kids can fly as young as 5 so it can be done as soon as she is ready.

BUT first, you need to think about if you want to intiate this and see if she is yours (and NOT by a mail-do-it -yourself type, go and get it done so you know for sure).
Good luck!

[CustodyIQ]

I suggest that you stay away from it unless you get served with a paternity action.

This is not your mess, regardless of whose sperm created the child.  The Dad is effectively abadoning his child, which is disgraceful (if her story is true).

It may be worth it to hire a private investigator to get a copy of the Voluntary Declaration of Paternity that the father signed.  That way, if you're served with anything, you have that as evidence.

He's going to have a hard time convincing a judge that he should be able to terminate his role as father.

The guy declared that he's the father, has acted like the father for 6 years, and has established his role as father with the child.

Also, consider consulting briefly with a California attorney, so you are fully aware of what possible outcomes there are.

[VeronicaGia]

Home paternity tests do not stand up in court.  Only a court ordered DNA test will hold up in court.

I am in complete agreement that you should not respond to this woman at all, get a copy of the other man's acknowledgement of paternity, and wait for the subpoena telling you that you have to get a court ordered DNA test.  

Do nothing.  Do not reply to her.  It's very possible she's playing a game, maybe the current dad has no/very little money and maybe she's broke too.  Maybe they're both looking for a sucker to pay for their lives.

[Sherry1]

paternity test.  Then deal with it after the results come back.  Right now, anyone could be the father.