I want joint custody

[charlescloudy]

I need help on getting joint custody. There are a few things against me on getting this. I live in Washington, who is known to favor women. Also the mother told me I wasn't the father and pretty much told me to never go around her again. She said there was someone else who was the father. On July 1st of this year we bump into each other, and she confesses that I am the dad. Ever since then I have been there for my daughter. We took a test, it came up positive. What is big that is against me is, she never filed with WA that I am the dad. So they still think that there is no father. She did this because the state is giving her money, as long as there is no father on the birth certificate. I am worried she is going to use this against me to get full custody, and refuse me access to her. That she will say I've never been around. The only documentation I have is the DNA results, that I have found out to not be court legal. I have no documentation of the time I've spent with my daughter (4-6 days a week), or the money i've given the mother (cash and me just out right buying groceries). The mother, when she has been drunk, says she will be taking her away from me. Threated to disapear, for no reason.
The only chance I have is to go for custody first, before her money runs out, from the state and she desides to go after me. This will at least prove to the court I care enought about my daughter to be the one to start it.
I have no idea of what to do. Who do I go to? How do I start this?
Any advice is welcome.
Thank you,

[ocean]

You need to go to court and ask for custody (or parenting plan). You need to document when you have had child (use caledndars and turn them into graphs of how much time you have had child). If you can afford a lawyer, do it now. They may be able to get you temporary custody since you have child so much during the week. Once you get to court they will ask for paternity test (they may accept the one you already did or make you get a new one).

Do NOT give the mother cash. (at this point since you have child so much she should be paying you).

As for her getting state assistance...BE CAREFUL !!! The state can come after YOU once they find out you are the father. Some people have the state asking for back support so you really need to get this straightened out on paper.
If you can not pay a lawyer, you can file yourself at the local courthouse of where the child has lived for the past 6 months. You will have to start with the paternity but the people there can direct you but they are not lawyers.

Good luck!

[FatherTime]

I'm in Washington too.  

***I BELIEVE the following to be true, but it may or may not be true.  I am not a lawyer.  ***

 Female Governor, female Senators, Femily Law?... Go figure.


No joint custody unless mom agrees. ASK FOR IT ANYWAY, it somewhow makes you look aggresive.

You need to establish paternity.  Go to Department of Social and Health Services. Department of Child Support Enforcement.   Show them the DNA test.  It will be proof enough for them to establish PARENTAGE.   The mother is legally supposed to tell the government if she knows who may be the father, and she has a continuing responsibility to inform them if she may know of anyone who could be the father.  But she will not get any trouble for that ommission.  You need to prove it to them.  

All back support from birth will be calculated based on their guidelines for determination of Child Support.  You will be giving them everything that they need to prosecute you. So they will be MORE than happy to take all of your information.  If she is on welfare then they will make you pay it back to them first, she by receiving welfare will have already been paid.  You will be reimbursing them in a sense.

So now you see how the Department of Child Support can establish you as the parent for Child Support, administratively.  But honestly I don't think that it establishes you as the parent for child custody proceedings.  Because, conveniently for them, Child Support and Child Custody are two different things and they don't necessarily see establishing parentage for child support purposes the same as establishment of paternity for custody proceedings.  ("???"  I don't know why.) Anyways, they get their money. They have their ways of getting what THEY want.  Plus, you'll look like a good little boy to the courts, If you go in and *open up*.  The Child Support money does go to the benefit of your child too, though.

So after you go and do what I just suggested.  Hurry to the bathroom and cleanup.  It may hurt for awhile.  

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Now that the money is out of the way, you can focus on parenting time.  

Depending on the county you will most likely/surely receive that counties guideline visitation, depending upon various other factors such as: age of the child(ren), distance between households, criminal history, drug use, violence against women act,  not bowing to the mother(jj) and etc.  

So first you need to establish PATERNITY, same as above, but a NEW and IMPROVED name for PARENTAGE.   You may have to take a parenting class.  Mediation may be suggested, but cannot be mandated (not 100%sure).  

Your local county courthouse should have packets that you can purchase to begin and file proceedings regarding your situation.  I suggest an attorney, if affordable.  I suggest an attorney, if affordable.  Sorry, deja vu.

Here are some links to browse:

Check out TGB's links page on this site as well.
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tgbwa.php

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http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/pdf/publications/22-1133.pdf

http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/pdf/publications/22-1133.pdf

http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/pdf/publications/22-991.pdf

http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/pdf/esa/dcs/wscss2000.pdf

http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/pdf/esa/dcs/worksheet2000.pdf

http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/pdf/esa/dcs/18-097.pdf

http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/pdf/esa/dcs/18-078.pdf

http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/pdf/esa/dcs/16-072.pdf

http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/pdf/esa/dcs/16-107.pdf

http://apps.leg.wa.gov/WAC/default.aspx?cite=388-14A-2041

http://apps.leg.wa.gov/RCW/default.aspx?cite=26.27.281

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I hope this helps,

FatherTime