Autism/ state care facility.

[GlennDandy]

I have joint custody with my sons mother. he lived with me awhile then witrh her for three years. about a year and a half ago we signed him into state assisted living because he is very violent.

I paid her 150.00 a week when he lived there... I went to court to get rid of support because he didnt live with her anymore.. I lost, lawyer cost me 2000.00 dollars did my lawyer just suck, or am i screwed I cant afford to waste more money on lawyers.

the situation is this.. He is in a state ran assisted living home... they feed him, bathe him, dress him, he lives there, they take him to and from school, they give all medications, and he has been given medicaid as far as health insurance goes.

the only cost to us as parents is clothes, and 40.00 a month for activitys.

I pick him up every weekend, where his mother rarly ever goes to see him. The courts her in Southern NJ... decided i still needed to pay her 60.00 a week.

considering i already filed a motion, lost then a redo? or whatever its called and lost again... they told me all i could do would be to take it to a pella court, wich is more money and that bad lawyer said mayby 50 50 chance.

Ive been to jail over this, my hearts breaking because she has hurt me so bad financialy its affecting my activitys with my son. this year i have paid her 16,000.00 in support and been to jail twice. Im a nervouse wreck as it is dealing with autism.

 

[mistoffolees]

Something sounds seriously wrong. When there's a change in circumstances, it should be possible to change your support. Since support is supposed to pay the cost of taking care of the child. Once most of that cost is gone, the support should drop.

In addition to the costs you cited, there are also visitation costs, insurance costs, and possibly a few others. It shouldn't add up to $600 per month.

I'd suggest that you have a talk with a different lawyer. Take a copy of your previous filing and the judge's ruling. Either your lawyer messed up or there's something that you're not mentioning.

[Ref]

You need to get some consultations from other lawyers. There is no reason any money should be going to BM. He doesn't live there. If anything, the money should go directly to the state or the facility to offset the costs for caring for your child.

Ref

[mistoffolees]

That's why I'm always rather cynical about some of the things posted her. Some of them are just so bizarre that they don't make any sense.  I'm not implying that people are intentionally dishonest, but there may well be facts that they don't think are relevant which change the story greatly. Or, they may not understand the ruling.

For example, in this case, perhaps what he's paying is BACK support - which would not be wiped out if the child was placed in a state-funded facility. Or any number of other explanations.

Or perhaps the case was dismissed for procedural grounds which have nothing to do with the issues at hand.

Of course, it's also likely that his lawyer just plain stunk, but it seems pretty implausible to me that a lawyer would be THAT bad and still be practicing.

[GlennDandy]

Im not leaving anything out,,, the bottom line is after the judge found out the situation he agreed that it should be lowered to 60.00 a week. She claims haircuts and clothing and taking him to the doctors sometimes as the reason,...  She lies... and doesnt do any of these things.   She doesnt even go to see him.

He has medicare, they take him to the doctors, i buy as much clothes as she does... and usualy cut his hair.. Although last time in court she complained she didnt like his last haircut, So the judge ordered i can cut my sons hair anymore.

I know this sounds insane. But every word is true.  These judges are out of control... I have yet to find one person who this makes sense to... but apparently this judge lives in some alternat universe.

[dipper]

Do you owe a lot of arrears?  I am asking because you say you have paid her $16,000.00 in one  year.  Yet, your CS was $600 before he went into the facility and is $240 now.   If there are arrears, you would still owe them regardless of where the child is now.  

If the cost is $40 for activities and there is nothing requiring you to pay that, then let her pay it out of the CS she is receiving.  Document all haircuts, etc that she is claiming.  Give her time to hang herself.  you do not need an attorney for a CS adjustment.  It is supposed to be simply numbers - facts.  Does the state have custody of the son now - was that done through the courts or simply signing him in?

Again, you usually do not need an attorney for CS.  Just have all the facts - proof of what you are saying.  Like copies of the papers where she enrolled son in facility showing it is a complete-care facility and the fees associated.  The clothes should not be considered really, in my opinion.  She could pay $300 for expensive clothes the month of court and then not buy any again for six months......so, that area you would probably be best asking Socrateaser how to get around....

[GlennDandy]

I did owe arrears.. but not now.

I had documented information before and still lost as a woman she just lied and they believe her... no proof of anything.

the state agency called me yesterday she hasnt paid the 40 dollars since October and I found out his winter coat was donated by the staff.

the judge just considered he didnt live with her and removed housing money... but thats just not all there is to it ,, I dont understand what their thinking... her , me  are the same as far as anything goes why do i pay?

Im trying to get the paperwork, that says when and how long a parent picks him up,.,,, they document it all.  thats going to hang her she hasnt visited him in about three months.  I go every weekend.

Only question i have is... since i already did court and lost...and did a reconsider hearing,,, or whatever... how long do i have to wait to try again to get it removed?  in court...