unwed dad to be

[Davy]

Gemini3...GREAT RESPONSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...Especially in light of another post where an unwed father received primary custody of a baby GIRL.

[Davy]

GADAD...just a few supportive comments.  

I adamantly agree with your statement that you both had an equal part in creating a child.  It was in that thought combined with the possible overwhelming need of a child that I donated financially (thru my church) to the county Crisis Pregnancy Center.  

My support stopped immediately (I suspect others as well) when the Director of center came and painted the guys as sexual aggressors and the females as 'poor little things".  You are faced with a misgiven societal condition to acknowledge fatherhood.  Contrast this condition with what my father told my sister (in the late 1960's we were structured and disciplined) when she turned up pregnant in her 3rd year of college..."You made your bed now lie in it."  

In these days, you will need to garnish as much support as possible from all the females in your life (ie family) speaking out on your behalf.

Also, never but never utter anything negative about the mother to anyone ... afterall she's the mother of your child.  Act responsibly in all ways and never REACT.  It is really beneficial to you if she runs off at the mouth with negatively towards you.

CYA as much as possible going out in groups if possible ( ie counter stalking charges, etc).  It might be wise to get in the habit of filing any receipts to prove your whereabouts (keep it a secret) and even make a purchase just to prove you were at a certain place and time.  It may even be wise to carry a microcasette recorder ready to flip on in case you run into her someplace.  It may be appropriate to record any telephone conversations ... not neccesarily for court presentation ... but to accentuate your position with your supporters.

Most importantly,  immediately change the mindset "you hope" to "you will" have a part of this childs future.

It seems you are doing all the right things so far.  Best of luck !

[wendl]

Jade each state is different, my son who I breastfed went to overnights with his dad at 5 months old (and the only reason it was that long was 15yrs ago they wouldn't do DNA test until the babies were older. We don't know what this mom is going to do (formula or breastmilk)

No reason why a man cannot take a child overnight, they need to bond with the child just like a mother does, it is just as important and feeding a child is a great bonding experience.

I am due in Jan and will breastfeed, I will have to go  back to work when my baby is 6 months old and my hubby will have to thaw the breastmilk and feed our child.