Any Suggestions Urgently Needed

[GiveCareToo]

I'm writing this posting on behalf of a close friend who lives in a small town in the Midwest and doesn't have great internet accessibility.  This friends spouse left after a fight, and more as an after thought decided to take the kids.  The spouse took the kids and went to stay with their Parents.  Several days later the spouse filed a restraining order and also made a criminal complaint.  Legal council kept reassuring my friend not to worry, the order would be thrown out, but it wasn't.  An advocacy group got involved in the case.  They are pushing for criminal prosecution.

What is so frustrating is I've known this friend since College.  I know "M" did nothing wrong.  However, the spouse is a different story.  "S" has changed the last several years and can have an explosive temper.  "S" has had psychiatric problems the past few years as well and is heavily medicated.  The daughter has also been dealing with some anger issues that were a little more severe than normal preteen mood swings.  This is why; I can't believe the authorities are taking any accusations seriously.  "M" worked full time, so that the spouse could stay home with the kids.  I'm wondering if this advocacy group is blindly supporting the spouse for this reason.

I know this is a forum for Fathers, and my friend does happen to be a Mother, but I thought it was more appropriate.  She is a working Mom, whose spouse choose to stay home with the kids.  The advocacy group which is supporting the spouse is actually for abused women.  I'm wondering if they are pushing this as some kind of test case.

My friend lives in a small town (with small minded people) and it was sometimes hard for her and her spouse because of the role reversal which they chose.  My friend has a Masters in Engineering and could make many times more what her husband could working construction.  Now it seems that she is in the same situation as a lot of fathers, not being valued as a good parent.

My main concern for her right now is that I don't think she is getting good legal council.  I am also concerned about the Justice of the Peace being fair and objective.  When the JP upheld the restraining order he made a comment about being disgusted with my friend, that she was a bad parent.  My friend appealed the decision and was given visitation by a district judge.  I was wondering if there were any organizations that helped fathers with custody battles.  Maybe they would be more understanding of her situation.

Any help would be appreciated!

[mistoffolees]

First, this organization isn't just for fathers - it's for ALL parents.

Your friend needs a good attorney and needs to work closely with them. I suspect that there's more information than you provided (courts will rarely enforce restraining orders and criminal complaints without some evidence other than the complainant's statements). Make sure your friend tells the attorney everything. If she's not happy with the attorney (one of the best signs is whether she's getting good answers to her questions), she needs to get a different attorney. If you can't trust your attorney, you might as well give up.

Just from what you've written, my own take is that I would be asking for a custody evaluation. A good custody evaluator will see through a lot of the games and will also administer psychological tests which will pick up some of the temper issues - as well as the medication issues. If done properly, it doesn't take that long, but it will cost a couple thousand dollars. However, a good custody evaluation will probably shorten the legal battle enough to pay for itself.

Good luck.