Need Advice, Confused

[dbdire]

I recently went this week thinking I was just going to court to lower my child support and get more visitation with my daughter who is a year and 4 months, My attorney brought me into a conference room, just me and him and told me that my daughter's mother is asking that I sign over rights to my daughter. Now I love my daughter more than life itself, but my attorney suggested that I do this because of the problems my daughter's mom has caused me in the past and the problems her and her family are going to cause me over the next 17 years. He told me that if this was any normal family I was dealing with that he would tell me not to do this. But my daughter's mother and her family are evil evil people, my attorney knows and I know down the line they are the type of people that would molest a child and blame it on someone else just to send that other person to jail in order for them never to see that child again and I know it sounds very messed up but where I live for some reason this family has a lot of pull in the legal system their attorney is one of the judges brother's in this county and they believe every word that comes out of their mouths. So i'm scared, I love my daughter so much I'm just scared that If i don't give up my rights of what they are going to do, and trust me somehow they are able to get away with these things. My daughter's mother's father actually has killed a man and gotten away with it. About 6 months back I was called over by my daughter's mother to help her out by bringing her some extra money, when i got there she opened the door her father grabbed me by the arms pulled me into the apartment put a gun to my head and choked me almost unconscious and I went to jail for trespassing. But back to the main thing about court, I told him to put it off for a week, But I love my daughter so much i don't think i could live with myself if I signed over right, so what do I do? i plan on calling a different attorney and seeing if there is anyway to talk to the judge privately but other than any advice would be great. Thanks

[mistoffolees]

No advice, but you definitely have my sympathy. Maybe you should write a book.

Whatever happens, I would suggest that you spend some time with a counselor to hlep sort out your feelings and hurt.

[Kent]

I would never sign over my rights to my children. But that's just me.
Keep in mind, you will still be required to pay child support.

For your own protection, you need to get a friend or relative to be with you on all exchanges, have him videotape any interaction that goes on. In addition, or if you cannot find someone, insist that any and all exchanges take place at the sheriff's office.
Also, make a habit of carrying a voice recorder, and record any conversation - personal or via phone - with this recorder. You may only be able to use this in family court if you are in a one-party state, but to proof your innocence you can use it at any time.

Make sure that during all your parenting time, you are NEVER alone with your daughter, so you have a witness if they ever claim abuse.

If you have the money, consider putting a security system in your home with an IR camera in every room and a 30 day recording time (system with 4 cameras you can get for $ 700.00). Since any molestation or abuse charges will surface within 30 days, your recording of 30 days should be sufficient.

I would also request a custody evaluation by an independent evaluator.

Good luck.

Kent!

[mistoffolees]

>If you have the money, consider putting a security system in
>your home with an IR camera in every room and a 30 day
>recording time (system with 4 cameras you can get for $
>700.00). Since any molestation or abuse charges will surface
>within 30 days, your recording of 30 days should be
>sufficient.

I'd be very careful here. What if his ex says that he's filming everything in the house (including his daughter) for pornographic reasons. That's why my ex would do, anyway.

>
>I would also request a custody evaluation by an independent
>evaluator.

Yep.

[Kent]

> I'd be very careful here. What if his ex says that he's filming
> everything in the house (including his daughter) for pornographic
> reasons.

That is why you keep the recordings, and do not place a camera in the bath room. A record of 24/7 recordings over many months will proof that it is not for pornographic reasons.

Next to that, I wouldn't tell her that I have the camera system, so if there are false allegations, it will likely supposedly have taken place in the bedroom. Well, then you can produce the tapes to prove your innocence.

Kent!

[Ref]

It sounds terrible and frightening, but if it were me, I wouldn't sign anything over.

You will owe support and screw any future chance of getting custody. It sounds like the family is nuts and your child might be in some real harm. If you sign over your rights, you may really have no recourse to get your daughter out of there.

I would document everything and follow the advice given and keep child protective services in mind if you think your daughter may be in serious and provable harm. If you call them too soon, they might assume you are crying wolf, so make sure there is meat to your allegations.

Also, talk to the people invovled in her life that you can. This includes aunts/uncles that might be sane and doctors or daycare providers. Try to have a private meeting. The best way to do this with drs or daycare providers without getting your ex involved is to pop in unannounced. Maybe call ahead and see if they are there. That way they can't give your ex any heads up.

Take care and consider a new lawyer

Ref

[mistoffolees]

>> I'd be very careful here. What if his ex says that he's
>filming
>> everything in the house (including his daughter) for
>pornographic
>> reasons.
>
>That is why you keep the recordings, and do not place a camera
>in the bath room. A record of 24/7 recordings over many months
>will proof that it is not for pornographic reasons.

My own personal feeling is that this won't protect you.

Let's take just the bedroom. If you have a camera in the bedroom, you'll get pictures of the daughter getting dressed. If that is introduced into court, how do you prove that you weren't watching her get dressed.

If, OTOH, you don't put a camera in the bedroom, ex can say that you didn't record the bedroom because that's where you were committing the abuse. It's a no-win situation.

I've watched someone I know being accused of sexual abuse. It's insidious and there are far too many cases where even the most innocent actions can be seen as indicating guilt.

[mishelle2]

ok, go to your neighboring county for an attorney, file for  a change of venue, since your ex's father is the judges brother it should be easy to get. .. and follow all the advice above.. dont allow someone else to decide if you will have the right to be your daughters father.....