Looking for light the end of this dark tunnel.

[itiswhatitis]

  The Recording & Transcribing Article here was very helpful, but, I having a real hard time finding info on my unique scenario.

   I have been using a voice recorder to tape conversations/ongoings that happen within my home.  Some conversations I am present for & some I am not.  
   The reason for this is that I have concerns about what is going on, at home, with my wife & our 4 year old, since we are divorcing & custody is an issue.
   Also, I have a recording of my wife admitting, to someone on a phone at our home, that she accessed my cell phone & listened to my voice mail messages.  I know what she did was illegal, but, is what I am doing (recording) illegal as well?  I am not tapping any phone lines.  I am recording anything that is audible within the area of the recorder in our home.  Since our 4 year old is always present & I am not, or the fact its in our home make the recordings admissible/useable?  I know that when I am present, the recording is admissible, (Minnesota, 1 party consent).  
   We are going to be starting the custody evaluation process & there are some things that would prove neglect of our child & show that I am not making up the mental instability questions I will be raising.  
   Any insight or where I could find documentation that supports what I am doing would be much appreciated.  

[mistoffolees]

I would check the rules in your state since it varies a great deal from state to state.

According to my attorney, in my state (OK), what you are doing would be illegal. Under our rules, you can only record a conversation if you are one of the parties of the conversation.

Strangely, it's also illegal to record a child on the phone. I'm not sure why it's OK to record your child playing games via Video cam, but it's not OK to record them talking on the phone. I don't know whether you can do a plain audio recording of children in your home. We never discussed that.

[itiswhatitis]

Thank you for that info.  I am curious, do you have any idea what legal state document your attorney is referring to & where I could find the specific "rules".

Maybe I can cross reference similar laws in MN & see what I can or can't do.  I have researched federal/state documents & none have broached this particular topic (child consent or your personal home).

 Its amazing/sad to think if, not the case here, my wife abused our son & it would be inadmissible because of "no consent".  Thanks again.

[mistoffolees]

Sorry, I just know what my attorney told me. I don't know what document she was taking it from.

[Davy]

From my recollection of past research of civil/criminal statues I can't recall any 'specific' statue addressing recordings within the home....probably because the statues primarily exist to protect politicans and other criminals rather use in domestic situtions (my opinion of course).  I do remember that recordings have to be certified to be submitted as evidence and can not be certified if anyone has listened to the tape.  

The whole idea of "recordings" as legal and or illegal as "evidence'  is often misconstrued.   Like in your situation of issue.   You may want to discreetly record away and if you come home and decipher your son may have beed abused (ie physical) you can take the appropriate action to first protect your son (ie get a hospital report) and substantuate the use of the recording (which probably won't be questioned at that time).

In the day, fathers often carried at least one minature recording device mostly as protection against false criminal accusations when attempting to gain access to their children during clearly defined custody orders and/or because no one would believe them.  

There was a run on tape recorders after a father kept telling his attorney that the mother (a well respected and sweet 12th grade English teacher) continued to make very threatening remarks when he went to pick up the kids.  The attorney did not believe him and finallly had him strap on a recorder.  As it happens,  the recorder was intact and fully recorded with "evidence" when his body was found at the bottom of  a ravine.  No one dare questioned the legality of the recording.

 I had a couple of recordings that proved invaluable.

[itiswhatitis]

The more & more I research this, the more shades of gray I seem to unearth.  

There is no definitive answer to this particular situation.  I "googled" vicarious consents cases & once again, found similar recording cases found admissible, but, of course they weren't exactly the same.  In the end, not surprisingly, it's the discretion the court, or in many cases, the appellate court.  

My concern is this, if I open this "Pandora's Box" up in the custody evaluation process, I have to convince the evaluator of the "good faith" behind it & hope they don't think its a shady thing to do.  

Is my wife's attempted suicide,  several additional threats of suicide, potentially (because of his age) damaging comments to our 4 year old enough justification for my actions?  In my heart,  I don't believe she would harm our son, but, do I really want to be in the same position as Andrea Yates' husband?  

[slickvirk]

Let me start by saying how sorry I am at what you are going through. These situations area always very hard and complicated. Having gone through a lot of that myself and enduring it and getting custody of my child.

I would suggest you protect your finances and be fair. As far as your children are concerned, concentrate more on accumulating proof about your relationship with your children and how much of an asset you are and what a positive influence you bring to the table.

Do not get angry and say ANYTHING derogatory or threatening no matter how much you get baited. You will be amazed how quickly the lies fall apart in court with no proof. Remember if the charge can be summed up to be 100, you cant even afford to give 5. By that i mean no tantrums so she can use for a TRO Figure out your emotional control, you have it in you just find it.

Dont lose heart and hang in there for you children and try to make the best soup you can with chicken poop.