Hello! I'm an OLDIE and back to help my son fight who would have ever thought??

[5mom]

wow, I can still after all these years, see names I recognize.  I was very active here 8 years ago or so fighting for my stepson's lives (which we won, by the way :-)

I used my same user name as I had then although I am now officially 6mom LOL  we had 5 boys between us and had a midlife crisis daughter 3 years ago - our "our" baby.  

and i'm a grandma :-)  which brings me to this forum

Illinois

Son never married to the BB; 10 month old daughter.   they lived together until August.

since August we have tracked time he's had the baby.

August and September it was consistently 2 or 3 days a week (barring the one week a month she flips out and refuses to let us see the baby :-(

October and november, pretty much the same, a little more days here and there; but almost always 2 or 3 days each week.

December, my son had his daughter 22 days of the month.

Beginning in January/end of December they decided to do one week on, one week off;

He still continued to pay what we figured he'd child support would be based on 20% net - although there is no order.

Paternity never officially established

VAP signed at hospital, which to me the law is rather hazy on - it states you're the legal father, yet you still really have no rights.  My take is that it is almost more harmful as they have a clause that seems to state "presumed custody to mother"  :-(

She is a diagnosed manic depressive/bi polar who refuses to take medication.   Things are usually okay until one week a month and she flips out.  Horrible, vile, disgusting emails and texts and phone calls.

Last week she showed up at a neighbors apartment, came down to my son's apartment, attacked the neighbor lady; busted in my son's apartment (he had the baby) opened all his cabinets throwing all items on the floor, breaking things.

cops arrive - she wouldn't shut her mouth LOL  ended up in jail for disorderly conduct and criminal trespass.   Her sister came and took the baby.

since that time she has refused to let my son see his daughter.

Sent a barrage of horrible myspace blogs accusing my son of being a crack head (her usual course of action to attempt to justify her behavior to act like the poor single mom trying to rpotect her daughter from harm)  totally false by the way;  

my son is 22

at 18 he was arrest for possession of marijuana and dui - he's been on probation since that time and  has passed all drug tests; has worked the same job; rave reviews from his probation officer, he totally grew up and left his teen years behind him (thank you, Lord he was giving me gray hair LOL)

so she always screams accusations such as that.  He truly does not do drugs at all since he was arrested.  He drinks occasionally, but not much anymore, no time.

she blogs daily for me to see it LOL  i just print it.   She calls our three year old daughter a pig and other names :-(  calls me a c-word b-word LOL    I'm 39 years old, I could care less to be honest.

I just print and smile :-)

I feel like this is the most important battle of our life all over again.  Not sure I can go a round two with the courts again.  I"m so stressed out.

My grandaughter is the most prescious little angel in the world.  sweet natured and has ti witness these acts of ignorance by her mother :-(

now mom said she is withholding food because the baby is too fat - she's a tiny skinny little peanut - but becasue our three year old daughter is sort of chunky, she's making it known she won't let my grandaughter be chubby and instructed the sitter (her sister) to cut down on her bottles and only the two meals :-(  she's 18 pounds at 11 months old, not too skinny, but she's far from a chunky butt.

Okay, let me have it; I need refreshed on tips and what to do here.

we've seen an attorney; but I want to be prepared and to be able to assist the attorney as well

thanks so much; hope to see some familiar faces and new ones too!

:hug:

jamie

[Giggles]

Do you have written proof of her withholding food from the child?  If so, I would be calling CPS pronto!!  That is TOTAL BS!!!  My YD at 4 months old weighed in at 24 lbs...she was a chunky butt!!!  Now she is 8 and is the skinnyest kid (she's quite tall 4 ft 6 in, and weighs 57 lbs)....yet still eats like a horse!!!

Since you're an oldtimer, you know to document...document...document!!  Even that is limited if you have a bad judge, but it will help tremendously paint the picture of what type of person she is.  Your son's record shouldn't cause much problems since it is 4 years old and he's been clean and good since.  He will probably need all the good reccomendations he can get though.  As you know, he will need to make mom out to look like a loonatic without attacking her...hard to do and above all, he needs to be sure to focus his case mainly on the "Best interest" of the baby and not so much how crazy Mom is!!

Good luck!!

[MixedBag]

I think you got it covered.

Know the law.

Document the crapola out of everything.

And stand your ground for the sake of the child.

[5mom]

hi, thanks for your reply.  The only proof we have is an email her sister sent to me telling me what was going on.    She was very helpful initially and actually sent some pretty damning emails to me about her concerns about her sister's mental condition and her fear for the baby :-(

She has since went radio silent and hasn't corresponded with us for a few days; and I suspect she's back on her sister's side, whcih is understandable, blood is thicker than water.   And that's the way it generally works.   BB flips out and acts like an idiot, a mental case and then she calms down and, frankly, when she's in a good mood, she is the nicest person.

I adored her, I considered her my daughter.  

Her unwillingness to medicate is just getting scarey.    She is very violent; has pulled a knife on my son; she's kicked him in the head when he was bent down to clean up her mess, blackening his eyes..the list goes on.

I'm so very sad.  I miss my grandaughter and her cheesy grin so much; I watch her when my son works.  

I guess she has no enrolled her in daycare, so it's going to be hard to get a 50/50 schedule now :-(

yeah, my three year old was a chunky monkey as a baby too, which is why BB called her a pig in her blog :-(  and why she now doesn't want marley gaining any weight.  

I'm so frustrated and really scared of what will happen.  It will kill my son to go every other week without seeing her.

thanks again

:hug:

jamie

[dsm]

You know very well the drill.  Document, document, document.  Keep receipts.  Record everything.  Take pictures.  Keep the damaging emails and blogs.  File emergency motion.  

Is the attorney same one as you used years ago?   If not, be sure you trust him/her to work things hard.

Feel for the baby and your DS.  

Catch me up......

you can check me out on myspace too - email me and I'll send more info.




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dsm - 37; DH - 40; SD - 18; LO - 12; BB - 4
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It's time for me to do for me and mine.  The others can worry about themselves for awhile.

[Kent]

Hi 5!

Sorry to hear what you're going through!

As the other replies said, document, document, and document. Get the police report of her arrest, and also document what she broke and how much the value is. Shows that he's cooperative by not sueing her for the things she broke.

Someone could always report her for the reduced food, especially to the police at a time that the babysitter is there. Claim the baby has been screaming non-stop because she's not being fed.... Wouldn't be you of course.... ;)

Good luck!

Kent!

[determined]

And yes, the old timers may often be too busy to come out of the wood work (too busy raising our kids, Hallelujah).

Mental health may indeed be the issue and the ticket.  Are you looking for a GAL?  If so, avoid one of the shyster GALs (attorneys et al) and get a forensic psychologist for a GAL.

[TheOriginalKingpin]

Good to "see" you again.  Sorry that you are going through this again.  I'll give a better response later tonight.  I just wanted to drop you a line to say Hi.