Please Help Miltary man trying to get custody of my 1 1/2 Month old baby Girl

[Pony14]

Hi i'm a 23 year old male trying to fight my x-girlfreind for custody of my daughter.

I'm more then willing to do 50/50 with some stipulations one including my x's father not allowed any where near my daughter because he is a convicted child molester that molested his own daughters,

 and that her son that she has from a previous marriage seeks help for his anger cause he has openly said he could careless wether my daughter his youngest sister lives or dies.

he has hit ,slapped kicked his mother all while pregnat with my child he has holes in his bedroom walls from the heels of his feet and holes in his wall from throwing things as well.

 he has threatened to commit sucide from jumping from our 3rd floor apartment. This is just some of the things he has done to make me worry formy daughters safty.

Even though i have been told by many different people that most courts will not approve 50/50 at my daughters age. I'm very concerned for my daughters safty and am just looking for supporting and helpful information.

Anything you can provide would be greatly apprecaited. There are many more stories I could tell you regarding this situtaion do I have a good chance at getting what I want?

Thank you so much

[Giggles]

how the situation is now?  

I see she is your X...what are the current arrangements?  Do you get along?  Is she willing to do 50/50?  Do you have a parenting plan drawn up?  Have you discussed your wants with the BM?

Do you have verifiable proof of your fears (police reports, pictures, etc)?

If you and the mother agree to 50/50 have a concrete parenting plan done up and child support issues addressed, then typically most courts will approve it regardless of the childs age.  BUT if the BM will fight you on it...without proof of your fears, you have a very long and tough road ahead!!!

[Pony14]

Right now we dont have arrangements. I see my daughter when she allows me to. AT times we get along. She also said she would do 50/50 as well.

I do have proof of the holes in the wall and do have a police report on her son and also the father was convicted of child molestation and he can be found on the web as a registered sex offender.

Thank you for your post

[ocean]

I would try and set up a mediation meeting with just the two of you and see what you can mediate. You then can go to court for the parts you do not agree to. You need everything in writing so you do not have to deal with this on a weekly basis.

Look around this site. Have everything put in there NOW. It is very hard to change once you have it court ordered. Include holidays, birthdays, vacations (remember when child is in school they get long weekends), pick-up times and places. Who is allowed to drive child. You can add the parts about the people that should not be allowed near child.

Good luck.

[Giggles]

Sit down with a MEDIATOR, hash out a parenting plan and get it all in writing!!  Make sure it is extremely detailed and can anticipate future years.  Some MUST items....

1.  Right to first refusal!!!  This is extremely important!!!  This means if Mom is going on vacation without the child, she is to give you the opprotunity to keep the child before she allows anyone else (grandparents, friends, etc).

2.  Moving and transportation clause.  This is an extremely important item especially in a 50/50 situation.  The last thing you need is for mom to move 150 miles away and you're responsible for all transportation.  Make it so that neither party can move more than 30 miles from their current location without prior written approval from the other party.

3.  Holidays - make sure they are outlined specifically and detailed.  Most people alternate holidays.  My x and I do this...last year I had our daughter for Christmas and he had her for Thanksgiving.  This year, I get her for Thanksgiving and he has her for Christmas.  Now within that, problems can arrise, so you want the order to state that the Holiday takes precedence OVER regular parenting time.  So what does that mean?  Well...say it's BM's week to have your child, but during that week, Thanksgiving comes and it's your year to have the child.  Many people have had serious battles about this very thing!!  BM wont give the child up cuz it's her week...but it's your holiday...so....Be specific as to when the child is to change custody...the night before the holiday?  The morning of the holiday? etc.  

There are some really helpful articles on this site...read them!!!

Good luck

[tigger]

(mom, mommy, momma, mother, dad, daddy, father) are to be reserved for bio-parents only.