We Won!

[hisliltulip]

BM is an addict that has abandoned DSS repeatedly for days, weeks, or even months at a time.

She would leave him with friends, relatives, and DH for a supposed short amount of time, and then not come back.  The longest was 8 months.  She dropped DSS off with DH, said she needed him to watch him for the weekend, then came back six months later to visit him for a couple of hours.  Two months later she showed up on the doorstep demanding him back.

Due to my DH's lack of Custody knowledge at the time, he was convinced by her that he didn't have a legal leg to stand on.

From the time that He was awarded Joint Physical Custody in 2002, he (and I) documented everything BM was doing wrong.  (School drop off and pick-up, Dropping off DSS  HOURS late to our home, Sunburn, size of clothing, etc.)

Honestly, I think the biggest break we had is that she is such an idiot.

She blew off the evaluator for weeks before returning his call to set up their first meeting time.

She never showed for the first meeting, nor did she call to reschedule.  The evaluator had to track her down and ask her what had happened.  Her response?  "Oh, I got wrapped up with something and forgot."

The first time the evaluator met her, she reeked of stale alcohol.

She wouldn't answer most of the questions the evaluator asked her.

She claimed to have NEVER done drugs, even though the Evaluator had the information that she had been in Rehab.

She took off for three weeks in the middle of the evaluation.

In over a year of time, she got DSS to (court ordered) pre-school on time SIX days.  There were only two weeks that she had him there for all five days.

She got hostile (yelling) on the stand towards our attorney, and even her own attorney.

She admitted on the stand to doing Meth...

She couldn't give an answer as to why DH should not have custody.

AND, we have an attorney who has taken a personal interest in our case.  He wanted to see us get DSS.  BM disgusted him.  He said in all of his years of Family Practice, he had never seen anything like her!


By the way, This all "Legally" started in March of 2002.

Cost to date for us?  $10K, plus CS even though we had DSS every other week.

Cost to date for her?  $0

The other BIG thing in DH's favor, was that no other Custody Orders had ever been in place before he filed for Sole Custody.  Our Attorney told us that the success rate for Fathers who fight for Sole Custody at the very beginning (in our area) is 85%.  But if we had settled for Joint and THEN gone for sole, our chances would have dropped significantly because Judges don't like changing previous orders.


Not sure if any of this helped, let me know if you want any other info.

BETH

[janM]

Can you arrange to pick him up with a deputy and the court order in hand? And maybe a restraining order?

Congrats, I hope it all goes smoothly for you all.

[Kitty C.]

Washington.  Tho if he's certified to practice in Iowa, he can in any county, I think.

[hisliltulip]

The evaluator's recommendation was that the trade-offs be done at school, so that DH and BM didn't need to see each other too often.

I'm not sure if Judge will agree.

Wishing we had papers in our hands so that we could see what was going on!

[hisliltulip]

Unfortunately, he is only certified in MN and WI.

Sorry!

[Kitty C.]

Washington.  Tho if he's certified to practice in Iowa, he can in any county, I think.

[hisliltulip]

The evaluator's recommendation was that the trade-offs be done at school, so that DH and BM didn't need to see each other too often.

I'm not sure if Judge will agree.

Wishing we had papers in our hands so that we could see what was going on!

[hisliltulip]

Unfortunately, he is only certified in MN and WI.

Sorry!

[MNMom]

Congratulations!  I just found this site, but have been active on many other custody sites.  I am curious to know who our attorney was. I was from SW MN, now located in Central MN. I had an attorney from SW MN who was totally awesome when I went thru custody. Just curious if he may be the same person.

[hisliltulip]

BM did return SS yesterday. It seemed a toss-up since the Judge did not specify in the papers if we were to follow the old agreement through the weekend (getting him back on Sundays) or to use the new judgement (returned to school on Monday mornings).

Since he had not been in school last week, we were worried that she may have left town with him again.

It was great to have him back. DH was ecstatic to see him, and DS was overjoyed to have someone "cool" to play with (Mommy and Step-Daddy just don't cut it sometimes!).

Anyway, very happy:7

BETH