need help in pa

[pa dad]

Hello. I'm looking for specific help, anything that you've had experience with or can suggest.

I am fighting for 50-50 physical custody of my two sons. One is 3, one is 6 months old. I already have joint legal custody. There is no history or accusations of abuse, neglect, or anything else. I currently have every other weekend with my 3 yr old, from Friday to Monday morning, as well as an hour on 3 weeknites over the course of each 2 weeks. I also currently have my 6-month old from every other Sunday morning to Monday morning.

In October, we had a followup custody conference (the original was in August). The conference officer recommended that we step up to full weekends with my infant son. Over the course of 4 weekends with me, time would advance to Sat-Mon, and then, after another 4, it would be Fri-Mon. BM agreed reluctantly. I was asked if I "agreed" to the arrangement (which would initiate another followup custody conference), or if I didn't agree, which would send it to a hearing. It was clear that I'd never get 50-50 out of the conference stage, so I requested a hearing.

The recommendation was then sent to the judge.

Weeks later, the judge issued the order but he altered it. He changed the second stage of time with my infant to be Sat morning to Sunday morning (instead of Sat morning to Monday morning) and the third and final stage to be Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon, with no ultimate time of full weekends. He gave no reason.

I'm wondering what to do. Eventually we will file a complaint against the judge, but we are reluctant to do so prior to the hearing, since he will be the hearing judge. The hearing is set for May, which is some time off.

The way the order stands, my baby son gets only 4 nites a month with me during his infancy. His big brother hates having to be separated from him. BM has even acknowledged this, but she refuses to abide by our agreement at the conference and is sticking with what the judge has altered it to.

If any of you have had experience in PA regarding a judge altering conference agreements/recommendations, I really need some advice. I appreciate your time.

Thanks.

[Peanutsdad]

What I have noticed in the postings from any state that requires a custody or visitation mediator, is the party that rejects the mediators plan and opts for trial without compelling reason to show why that states "norms" should not be followed, gets slapped by the judge in many cases.

You may or may not have heard this said, if you let the judge decide, you wont like the outcome.

Just based on what you have written, it sounds like this is what the judge did to you. It doesnt make it right, but it happens overwhelmingly to men all over the country. Afterall, how DARE you presume to go against the norms in his family court.

Typically for most men, and infants, they end up having to go thru the maze of increasing time with their children, slow and sure. After you had established regular visitation, THEN shoot for 50/50.

Or you go the route some others go, you buck the precious system, get penalized, fight more against a gender bias no one wants to admit is actually going on, expend everything you have in resources, money, spirit and time.

Then there is the third way. You actually have a case for changing custody, and fight an unbelievably hard legal fight to win, knowing that had the circumstances been reversed, you would have at the least been on supervised visitation.


As far as the judge in your case altering the conference recommendations,, when you rejected them, he got that right, and he excercised it to penalize you. You opted for trial,, and as a result, got less time with your infant son.

Does it make it right? hell no,, but it happens. The question I have,, is your attrny local to the area ? If so,, dont count on him/her going against the local court too much. Afterall, when your case is done, that attrny still has to work with that court in the future.

[Peanutsdad]

I guess I should have also mentioned the absolute worst case for any man to have.

A case where both parents are fit,, AND bm doesnt wanna play fair. Men have the hardest time coming out of those cases with anything approximating 50/50. Custody for dad in that case? Damn near none.


What advice does your attrny have on your case?