Father accused of sexual assault

[darrell]

My 13 yr old and ex wife have accused me of sexual assault of my son. No charges have been filed yet - we are waiting for Department of Children and Family Services to show up.

Just looking for anyone that has been through this.  There is nothing for anyone to prove against me - I havent done anything wrong - but I know that doesnt mean anything.  The irony is that I have never been alone with either child since I remarried.  My wife and I figured if these sorts of accusations were made it would be against her and so we were always together for her protection.  Not that my kids dont like her - they do - but thier mom is mentally ill and told everyone she knew that my last girlfriend beat the kids (not) so my wife figured it would only be a matter of time before she was the next target. We didnt expect them to be made against me.

Anyway - any advice would be appreciated.

[nosonew]

Actually, this is very common.  I am having to assume you are having some custody/visitation problems that are likely on-going?  Well, CPS will investigate, hopefully quickly, and speak with yourself, your wife, your son, and depending on what your son says, and if he appears to be telling the truth (at 13 it is hard to get a child to lie unless there is extreme PAS), you really have nothing to worry about except how long the investigation will last.

We had two false allegations of sexual abuse made against us. The locals CPS investigated, and actually recommended that we ask for custody due to "how obvious it was that cp was making son lie-apparently not very well at lying" however, no one would ever allow their records/testimony to be used in court.  The judge refused to allow it, the custody evaluator wouldn't request it either. We also spoke with our local DA who stated if another false allegation was made, he would file a report and "make sure she went to jail".  I believe you can also sue her in civil court for emotional damages as well, and any lost wages from your job if you have to take off to see the cps worker investigating the case.  

Im sure others will have good advice also, and even though it worked out okay for us, there are others that have been found guilty even though they were not.  Read what you can on this site regarding false allgations.  Good luck.
I guess it all boils down to what the 13 year old will say.  Also, request that she NOT be present when they speak with him.We requested ss be questioned at school, with principal present, which worked wonders for getting to the truth.  (And without cp knowledge that he was being spoken to, they don't have to inform EITHER parent).  

BTW, ss now lives with us, in a NON PAS home.  Good luck!

[DecentDad]

Hi Darrell,

I saw your post on Socrateaser's board as well.  As he's an attorney, his legal advice is better than mine.

Perhaps my experience could aid your decision on how to proceed...

I was falsely accused of spousal battery.  There was no evidence.  Just an emotionally/psychologically unstable woman who called 9-1-1 and said she was being attacked (when in fact she was the one who had attacked me and only stopped when I grabbed my cell phone and threatened to call the police).

Police arrived and arrested me.  It's policy to always arrest the accused DV offender.

From jail (in Los Angeles, no less), I called an attorney friend who hooked me up with a criminal defense attorney.  From jail, the criminal defense attorney advised me what to say at the arraignment hearing, which didn't occur.  Instead, the matter was set for some sort of intermediary hearing at which the D.A. would decide to file charges or not.

I was released a day later on O/R.

My defense attorney accompanied me to the hearing.  He advised me what documents to bring to the hearing (including reference letters of character, resume, etc).

I did very little talking at the hearing.  My attorney did most of it, mostly telling the D.A. representative of my character (via reference letters of important-sounding people), my background (upstanding citizen), and my commitment to go all the way for a not guilty finding.

Half an hour later, the D.A. dropped the charges.

This outcome was critical because, unlike a "not guilty" finding, in my situation charges were never prosecuted.  Hence, no record of even an arrest.

Grand total for my attorney was $600.

More than one attorney thereafter has told me that the most likely reason D.A. just dropped everything against me was because I was represented (i.e., they'd have a REAL trial on their hands with no quickie plea bargain or disposition).

SO... I agree with Soc that you should go ASAP to a criminal defense attorney for at least a consultation.  That hour would be an invaluable way to spend $250.

Simply saying to DCFS, "My ex wife is unstable and has a history of making false allegations against me, so I think it's best if you go through my attorney on this latest one" shouldn't prejudice your position.

Think about all of these budget-strapped offices that need to do their work.  You have a case with little evidence, and you've got an attorney.  They'd need to spend ten times the money on you as they would the average molestation case.  

Hence, you get the outcome you want, but perhaps not for the precise reasons you'd think.

As you're probably aware, if you have one screw-up in this investigation, and you've got a potential huge headache.

Also, as this is going on, think of how you can use the incident strategically in the overall picture (i.e., welfare of your kids).

A false molestation accusation is often enough to change custody, depending upon your state.

Best wishes,
DD

[darrell]

Thanks for the support - much appreciated.  I do have some updates to post.

I was served on Monday night with an Order of Protection - it stated that I have been showing the kids (10&13 - both boys) porn on the internet.  My ex-wife also went on the say that the oldest one "hates his dad and says he wants to kill him but wont say why".  Per the police it was the kid that made the accusation - seems things have changed.  My ex used the work sexual exploitation to describe her charges - okay that is not what I thought that word meant but okay.
CPS was at my house yesterday - told them to go the the lawyer - told them we had been served the order and we were thrown for a loop and just thought it was better to go through the lawyer. (they wanted to know why we were so prepared for thier visit - we told them ex served the papers and in them it said CPS was investigating - they said "oh, I didnt know about the order of protection").
So, I have a summon to appear about the order, CPS to answer to with my lawyer - he thinks this is a lot of noise about nothing (if Sexual Exploitation means what ex wrote on the order of protection - it could mean something else but then I think the SWAT team would have been here if it meant what it sounds like).
So, we are making ourselves sick with worry here but hanging in as best as we can.

Thanks

[Kitty C.]

I don't think you've got a lot to worry about, either.  You're also talking about contributing to the delinquency of a minor with porn, considered VERY serious in some states.  If they had taken it very seriously, they would have confiscated your computer!

[DecentDad]

.

[darrell]

Kitty C.

Do you know where to find where such a statute about porn and minors - all I can find is kiddie porn stuff and thats not what the accusation is (that I know of - like you said I think the SWAT team would have rounded up the computer at this point).

Thanks!

[Kitty C.]

All I can recommend is to surf your state's statutes.  It will take time, but you could also contact your local LEA, they might be able to tell you, too.  They will also ask you WHY you're asking, so be honest with them, so that if they want to verify with DHS, they will know your question was legit.