I had my son out of wed lock does any body have a guide to custody for dummies ,...

[Help me keep my son]

 I have searched for any info that could help me in custody or help me better myself as a young man and father but i cant seem to find things that would help my prodicament   the web has to much garbage and i get lost  i need resources for New York City can any one help me
  also if you know where i can find a better job oppurtunity that would be real helpfull.  Also i always would except any tips any one has for me whether its financial,custody,being the perfect  father or Better Gentleman.     THANK YOU   p.s.   A Perfect out line for custody would be helpful  this is my first time and i dont know what im up against see the other message i posted  I need help Getting MY SON



http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=101&topic_id=1061&mesg_id=1061&page=

[nosonew]

I know, from experience, that a NEVER MARRIED, grounded, good-intentioned, loving father CAN get custody and we didn't have a slutty, druggie, fly-by-night bm.  SOOO, first, if she ever leaves the child with you, (we weren't so lucky),you immediately go file for custody.  She won't be there for papers to get served on her.  You have the child, and possession is 9/10ths of the law.  Second, are you on the birth certificate as father?  And THIRD< Get a GREAT family law attorney, work nights, weekends, whatever, to be with your child often, but be able to pay your attorney.  Sacrifice!  Hard, we all know, but well worth it in the end!

Best of luck!

[gipsy]

What happened to Me in Washington state ,
    First ask her for a paternity test , DNA test
   second if you are the father then ask her for a parenting plan , And
   third interview atty's You don't really need a high dollar atty , There is a process in wash state that Has been adopted into most states,
   And a good atty will tell you the process , Here its simple , you will have to show the court you are the Dad . Then If she makes trouble of it all they appoint a Guardian Ad litem On behalf of Minor Child , This GaL will go to your house and her house and then see if You have a place to stay that is good for the child etc , Then they will make like a basic record check and see if you are a criminal or child molester , then they will report to the judge , All the while You need to remain calm and cool , Just go on with your life, this is all just a process and unless some one finds that she is a bad mother , she will have custody , Don't talk crap about her it will back fire as bad will toward the mother , If you have some proveable fact then show it to the GAL , The GAL investigates for the judge , Any way thats the basics , You will see your child even if it comes by court order , Like My case I had to wait till he ws 11 months because she made up stories etc , And then the system is full of these stories and they sort of go through the motions and then there won't be any evidance and then you will get short visits of a small child till he gets to like 2 years then over nights etc ,Just get an atty that explains what will be filed etc and what the steps are , write it down if you have to , this is all a basic process , What happened to me is I got upset not knowing that you have to go through the courts process , Just relax , Oh ya did not say if you are seeing you child or not yet , thats all important , The best thing would be that You could Be really cool to her and just get her to cooperate and then if she won't the last resort is to go to the court , It would be way better to go to the Judge and say I have been seeing My son and want a parenting plan ordered by the court , then to say I have had zero contact and want the court to order visits , If that Is the case , Well . Post a whole bunch more about whats going on so people can respond to the facts , Do You see the child now? Do you get along with Mom at all ? Is she a drug addict , Does she have a place to stay ? are you paying child support ? Really people need more facts , Your post just say's custody , And We don't even know if you see the child currently . If you don't even see the kid then Custody is different ,
  post more info!!!,