Visitation Contempt...Custody Change

[rogers49]

Hi everyone!!!
I have a few questions?  I was wondering if you could give any advise? I should probably start with some background info. Last year my fiancee found out he could have a  3yo daughter from a previous, short  relation. In Jan. 03, paternity was found, he was granted visitation and ordered to pay child support.

The BM has used every attempt to keep us from the child's life.
She wanted to have her bf adopt child and when my fiancee would not sign over rights she was furious and stated we would never see child. She still has not married bf and he has domestic violence charges against him that she pressed twice and tried to drop, however the state picked up and charged him with felony.

Well, we have been trying our best to be a part of his daughter's live. The BM shoots down every effort. We have had denied visitations and all kinds of problems. Bm has drug abuse history, bf has domestic violence charges, neither work.  

In Jan this year the BM disappeared with my fiancee's daughter, her bf, and their daughter. We have found out through BM's family that they are staying with her sister and her three children in her apartment which is 4 hours away.

We also found out the BM and bf are involved with criminal charges and hiding out. Our attorney filed for contempt and custody in best interest of the child. The request for a trial was changed to a pre-trial and date set in April.

My fiancee finally spoke with daughter last week. The BM acted as though nothing was wrong, she didn't even ask how we found out where she was or the telephone number. Just said she would be a court in April and would let us know her new address and number, however she still has not called and is not letting him see his daughter.

My questions are what should we expect at the pre-trial? Do we have enough for temp custody to be granted and then full custody? Or will the judge ask BM to move back??? We have no idea, our attorney said with them being involved with the police and the detective calling her office and trying to get her to drop the case, because BM is his witness and he doesn't want to ruin his case, attorney is not sure what to expect?

We are so worried the mother will take off further with the child...What should we do?  Wait for pre-trial and hope for the best?

Thanks for any advice and help...it is greatly appreciated!!!

[nosonew]

well, it is obvious this child does not know her father, nor does the father know her.  Chances are, once in court, you will not get what you request, BUT it is the first step in the right direction!  Right now, like tomorrow, ask your attorney to have the judge set sanctions on bm for continued denial of visitation.  Chances are your hubby will have "supervised visitation" to begin with, then over time, increased. If bm is already this way, you have a long road ahead of you.  You may also request a custody evaluation, although that is expensive, and if they find against you (primarily because he doesn't even know the child) you are in worse shape than without one.  

But number one, ask for sanctions, ie: jail time/large fine for each future contempt.  This will your only chance as I see it.  

I am sure others will have good advice for you.  Good luck, and start saving your pennies, you are gonna need it!

[rogers49]

Thanks for the reply...I think my first post may have been confusing. We have had visitation with my fiancee's daughter for the last year. We know her very well. We did start visitation at the "Visitation House" under supervised visits. Then the BM did not like having to take the child there and up and called us to come and pick her up for an unsupervised visit. From that point on we no longer used the "Visitation House,"  we contacted courts and told them and the lady in charge at 'Visitation House" documented that BM no longer wanted to have supervised visits.

When the BM was not mad at us she would let us have his daughter extra, like whole weeks at time or treat us like babysitters. We could only see her extra when it was convient for the BM.  

The BM denied us all holidays last year and six weekend visits, and every weekend we had visit, except one, his daughter had to be brought home early at BM request. We have tried very hard to do everything the BM has asked, not argue or cause any trouble, even when she denied us, just to do what was best for his daughter and so we could keep trying to see her more than just every other weekend.

So in Jan this year, the BM up and left. My fiancee was able to speak with his daughter last week,  not seeing, speaking, or knowing where she was located for 7 weeks. When he spoke to the BM, she acted like it was okay and had nothing to worry about.

We have hired and paid our attorney and are waiting to go to court in April. We just don't know what to expect? We would like to have temp custody, then full custody. We have tried to be very active in daughter's life and we have a closer relationship with the BM's family than she does. They would like to she child with father also.

Sorry for the confusion, any more advise or suggestions would be great!!! Thanks again!!!