PLEASE PLEASE help or advise me what steps to take !!!!!!

[jayson]

My name is J.C. and I live in AZ. I am trying to get information regarding a custody case  regarding my son. I am hoping someone can answer some questions for me.
 
My wife has given temporary custody of our son, J., age 3, to her mother who resides in Tampa, FL. This was done without my knowledge or permission. I was NEVER served with any documents from this proceeding.  
 
The temporary custody was granted for a period of 60 days, to begin on February 10, 2204. No new documents have been filed with the court (as of Friday, April 16, 2004). My wife is not in the state of FL. she has come back to AZ and left J. in Florida. I have no phone number for her or address. I would like to go to FL. to get my son.
 
I do not have a lot of money. I cannot afford an attorney, hotel and food costs and the air fare to go down there and back with my son if my mother-in-law tries to fight me for J. I am trying to find out if the temporary custody expired on April 10, 2004, does she have any legal right to stop me from taking my son.
 
This is the 3rd time my wife has taken off with our son. Each time she deposits him with her mother. She does this to get back at me because I will not get back together with her.
 
In January 2003, A. took off with J. to CA. She filed in CA for legal separation and for custody of our son. I was never served with any of these documents or ever given and address or phone number in CA where was son was. The CA. court awarded her custody "SUBJECT to visitation being given to me" . From January 2003 - August 2003 I only spoke to my son on a hand full of occasions when A. would call me but she would block the number so I could never call her back. A. was living with her mother in CA. In March 2003 they moved from Camarillo, CA. to San Diego, CA. Once in San Diego, A.'s mom threw her out of the house for a large array of reasons. A. lived on the streets from May 2003 on until August 2003. She would go visit our son about once a week and take him overnight for a visit. They would stay in hotel rooms that were rented by men she had met on the street or over the internet.
 
In August on 2003, A. decided she was going to bring J. to AZ. where I live for a 5 day visit. I bought them plane tickets. When she called her mother to let her know that she would be coming to pick up J. for this visit, her mother took off with J. to FL for 4 days without A.'s permission. A. went ahead and flew here to AZ so that we could figure out what to do. When A. knew her mother was back at home in CA. with J., my mom drove her to CA to get him. At this time A. stated that she wanted to move back to AZ. with J. so that he could be close to me. She went to her mom's house pretending to take the baby for the night for a visit like always. She and my mom drove back to AZ with the baby. A. and J. stayed at my mom's house and my apartment for a week. During this week we found out that A. was meeting up with drug dealers and planning to sneak back out of state with J. when she realized I had no intention of us getting back together.
 
My mom threw her out of her house because of her talking to drug dealers on my mom's phone. J. happened to be with me that afternoon. A. did not even call to check on J. for over 6 weeks. We had no phone number for her or ANY idea of where she was staying. This all happened in August 2003, in October 2003 she called and wanted to see J. She would not give me a phone to contact her or any information on where she was living. From August 2003 until January 2004, J. lived with me. We would meet A. at parks where she would spend about 1 hour with him. More times then not, she would spend 15 minutes with her son and the rest of the time trying to talk to me about us getting back together. If she brought J. back to AZ and left him in my care for 5 months, does this have any bearing on the Judge's order? Also, during this time period A.'s mom came to AZ. to try to get him back. She paid a guy $100 to come to my apartment and pretend to be a police officer and take J. from me. This person took the $100 and then took off. He never came to my apartment. (This guy has since been in contact with me and has offered to testify to this). The very next night someone kicked in my front door and tried to get into my apartment. I chased the man down 3 flights of stairs and part way through the parking lot of the apartment complex. I was only in my underwear and did not chase him any farther. I cannot prove A.'s mom had anything to do with that event, but in my heart I know it was her. I moved the next weekend and would not give my home address to A. for fear that she would try something again. She had my phone number and could contact me through either of my parents if she could not reach me.
 
The reason I am trying so hard to get information immediately is...in January 2004 during a routine visit at the park for A. to visit with J., she snatched J.. She threw him into the back of a moving vehicle. I have not seen or even spoken to my son since January 7th. Last Friday I learned that she has taken Josh to FL. (where her mother has now moved to) and has left him with her mother. She went to court and gave her mom temporary custody. The document is attached. She never tried to serve me with these documents from FL. She has my phone number and my mom's address and my dad's address. The 60 day temporary custody was up on April 10th. Aimee is living here in AZ somewhere. She does not see our son. I have a home and am willing and able to care for him. Since A. and I are still legally married, I do not think she has the right to sign over custody to her mom. I do not have a lot of money to go to CA and fight the order there from last year and then to FL to fight that one. Can anyone let me know if there is ANYTHING that can be done about the FL. order?
 
A. is bi-polar and should take medication for it but she refuses. Many doctors have written her prescriptions and she just does not take them.
She has an MSN profile up that all she talks about is finding someone to party with and finding someone that can keep up with her. And for a picture she choose to use on there, she has a picture of her and MY SON. I am terrified of the people she keeps company with. I can only imagine what was happening in those hotel rooms in CA when those men would rent the rooms for her. She called me a few times from there and when I would ask to speak to J. she would tell me that he was at the pool with who ever the guy was.
 
I know I have not handled things with her the best I could, but I NEVER gave my son away to anyone else to care for. J.'s bedroom is still exactly as it was the day he left here in January for that visit with her. He is my life.
 
PLEASE HELP ME !!!! I love my son and feel that he is being abandoned. I am afraid he thinks I don't love him or want him. I am a good dad.
 
As this is the 3rd time J. has been taken from me by her and her mother, I am VERY frightened that if her mother gets wind that I know my son is in FL with her or that I have her home address, she will have A. come and get him and taken him to another family member in another state. It has taken me 3 months to track my son to FL. I was able to find A.'s mom's address on the internet from where they bought their home and in doing a search on the internet for A.'s name or J.'s name I could not locate anything. The court papers have her first name spelled incorrectly. I was able to find the court documents under her mother's name, other wise I would still not know what she had done.
 
Thank you,
 
J.C.

[Peanutsdad]

Regardless what you do to get your child back,,, once you do I strongly urge you to file in Az for custody.




Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm



One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.

[bluesman]

Wow, J.C. That's an incredible story.

I know you don't have a lot of money for an attorney but one way or another you need somebody who can really tell you what's going on. Try posting your question on the Dear Socrateaser board on this site. I would shorten the story, if you can, to get to the meat of what you're asking.

If at all possible, you could pay an attorney to just meet once or twice and point you in the right direction. You don't need to retain that attorney to get some helpful information. If you can scrape up the money for even some attorney time, get a good one. Anything less with only suck you dry of any money you may have.

You're dealing with multiple states, all of which have different laws. I'm not even sure where jurisdiction is for all of this. The last thing you want to do is take any action in the wrong state.

You need to somehow take control of the situtation and, quite frankly, that will likely be difficult. I don't care what anybody says, mom's have the edge. But you need to learn what you can and can't do, which you're obviously trying to do, and go on the offensive.

First thing I would do is find out what state you need to deal with first. Then find out what you need to do in that state and do it. If necessary, request a custody evaluation and learn everything you can about how to go through one.

Good luck.

jc

[SallyandJack]

you have got to get a good lawyer - find the money - beg for the money

- I saw a website a few weeks ago where in this case the mother was in the bad situation - anyways - she put up a website with her story on it and asking for donations.  I thought it was a good idea.

maybe your local press can help garner up some donations too? or churches?

but a good lawyer is essential if you want to fight.   your story is too complicated to fight by yourself.  have the law on your side before you get your son - this way it will be less traumatic for him in the future.

this is a disgusting epidemic....shame on these people who use these children as pawns.