Should we take our chances with the judge?

[tulip]

Some of you know about my dh's case. Here are some of the facts. They agreed in court in Dec on joint custody. BM filed the wrong paperwork, to her advantage re cs. By the time we got to court on this issue, it was clear she was heavily using crystal meth, and so he asked for sole custody.

At the last hearing, the judge ordered them both to do random UAs, and her to do a cd eval. She gave dh temp custody, and bm e/o we visitation plus one eve a week. She was really cocky about this until she got her test results. She tested positive for meth three times, then when she found out, she quit taking the tests. She flipped out and told dh she was giving him custody, and she was leaving town. A couple days later, she decided not to leave town. She says she is going to give him custody, but is still being really controlling.

She keeps saying she wants to settle this before court, but she has all these conditions and demands about it. She will give him sole physical custody, but wants joint legal custody. She wants to keep her e/o we and make Tue eve an overnight visit. (We don't really want her to have any overnight visits at all until she goes to treatment, but are trying not to get into trouble for not sticking to what the judge ordered with the weekend visits.)

She refuses to go to treatment. She is training to become a nurse, and she believes if she goes to treatment, it will ruin her career. She says she is in counseling now, and is going to start going to NA meetings.

[Peanutsdad]

Tulip,

I am in the medical professions,, and work in ER.

What you are alleging is extremely serious, and can result in jail time, loss/forfeiture of nursing license. For a nurse, the only crime worse ,, is to be charged with assault of a patient. Stealing schedule 3 drugs will undoubtably cost her the career.

Being addicted, will at the LEAST, result in mandatory inpatient drug treatment program, 1 year probation with NO controlled drug handling in the facility. THAT is a standard first time offense regimen if it discovered that she is addicted.


I urge you to edit your post, as such accusations wihtout proof,, are NOT taken lightly by anyone in the profession and are actionable.


Now,, if you and your DH think she may be addicted, and think the facility should know,, time to inform them. They will then keep a closer eye on her activities.

You might consider running the evidense you have by your attrny to check on admissibility.

[tulip]

Ok, I did edit my post, as you urged. But I am really confused. I don't know if I offended you, or you just think I should have not said something I said. So I want you to know, I am not here to gossip, or ruin anyone's reputation. That's why I don't post my name, the names of my dh, or our kids or his ex.

I do value your opinions, as a medical professional, and thank you for your advice. I am really confused about this situation, and I don't know what schedule 3 drugs are. I don't know if the licensing laws are more strict in your state, or if she has just managed to slip through the cracks here.

She has been put on watch and refused drugs at local hospitals because of her abuse. DH knows that when they were married, she used to go to 2 or more hospitals in one day to get shots of pain medication. When they separated, she enrolled herself in an outpatient treatment program for narcotic addiction. I believe she was at that time and still is an NA. She has been attending classes become LPN. I think she did some of her clinicals at the same hospital she went to treatment.

[Peanutsdad]

No Tulip, you didnt offend me.

That was more for your own protection than anything. Why borrow trouble if you dont need to.

schedule III drugs are your more tightly controlled drugs,, ie: narcotics, among other drugs, but for our purposes here,, they dont apply.

The laws governing arent state,, but federal.

Now,, if proof exists that she has an ongoing problem with addiction,, she absolutely wont get licensed.

If proof exists that she has ever fraudulently or illegally obtained either street/ or prescription drugs, that needs to be addressed.

If she is in current treatment,, are there random UA's being done?


btw,, I tried to send a pm,, couldnt.

[Peanutsdad]

Ok ,,


I talked with my own admin folks tonight,( yes, unfortunately, in a big city hospital, admin is here 24/7).

There are 2 things you guys need to check out.

1. Is the nursing program she is involved in aware of her drug abuse problems?


2. Board of Nuse Examiners for your state. get with them to discover their own restrictions.

MOST wont let a narcotic addict even sit for the exam,, much less obtain a license if it is known.


Lastly,, no one who is polysubstance abuse/addicted should ever even consider nursing as a career. It's too much like letting the pyromaniac work for the fire dept.

[nosonew]

Tulip how do you deal with a drug addict?  Go in front of the judge, get things set so she HAS to seek treatment.  She is doing herself no favors by not seeking treatment, and is using her education as an excuse! I don't want any nurse who is addicted to drugs working with me either! Or treating patients.  

With 3 positive drug tests, the judge may not give her any overnights, which of course, would be best for the kids right now.  Perhaps he will order her into treatment before even seeing them again. That may get the ball rolling so she is treated, and hopefully will stay clean.

Best wishes, and remember, what good would even a signed document do if she is "under the influence" when she signs? She can always state that she was "mentally incapacitated" at the time and make the agreement null and void.  Best to go to the judge, and don't feel guilty if it effects her schooling, you are doing her and the community a favor!

[tulip]

Dh has told her they cannot settle this matter before court. She agrees that the kids should be here, but they can't agree on visitation. So we'll let the judge decide that.

Peanuts, you asked if she is in treatment, and if random UAs are being done. That's the thing. She refuses to go to treatment. She says she is in counseling, and she is not using any narcotic drugs. They've been down this road before, she does what she needs to pacify all the people involved, and once the matter is settled, she will be back to her old ways. As for the random UAs, the judge ordered both her and dh to do random UAs until the review hearing. Dh has been doing them faithfully, calling every day to see if he's up. He's gone in two or three times, with neg results. She has done three, all positive, and when she found out the results, she quit calling in. I think she's missed at least two.

Should we report her to the nursing board? It seems pretty ruthless. But yeah, I wouldn't want a nurse who is drug addict treating me.

[Peanutsdad]

Let me give you a little scenerio,, thats quite common among drug addicted nurses.


Little old man Mr.XX has surgury. He's ordered to get 50mg of demerol every 4-6 hours as needed for pain control.
The other nurses start noticing, that when a particular nurse is on,, Mr.XX is getting the max doses on that shift, yet complaining of pain when the next shift starts.

In that situation, whats going on,, is that drug addicted nurse, checks out the narcotic, switches the drug for saline in the syringe. Shoots plain old saline( salt water) into the patients IV,, and stashes the drug for their own use.

So, not only is the patient care compromised, you have a supposed professional now trying to make decisions while under the influence of narcotics taking care of that patient.

So,, its not ruthless,, you would be protecting patients.