Do you have to go to court to get temporary custody.....

[harry5]

I am in the process of leaving the state with my children very quickly. What rights to I have and my husband have concerning the children? Can I legally leave state with them, while he believes it is a visit to stay with family for the summer? Is there a way I can get temporary custody so he can not make me come back or stay with the children. I am worried what will happen if he finds out Im leaving with them and not sure what my options are if he does.  

[Kitty C.]

Since you are married, it is presumed that you have joint custody.  If you take off with the children, I hope to GOD that he throws the legal book at you.  You damn well better be worried about what he would do.  think of it this way:  how would YOU feel if he did that to you?  

You need to step back and put this in a different perspective.  If you are angry at him and doing this to get back at him, shame on you.  You will get everything you've got coming to you.  If you are taking the children because he's dangerous (and NOT just because you 'feel' threatened by him, we're talking about him being a danger to the CHILDREN, highly unlikely unless he's a criminal), then go thru the proper legal channels and take the proper legal action.  NEVER, NEVER, NEVER TAKE OFF WITH THE KIDS!!!!!!

Word of advice:  I was where you are at 11 years ago.  I did what you did.  I will REGRET it for the rest of my life.  Because I was stupid and failed to consider my child's best interest and was only thinking of myself.  No matter how much I may have hated his father, it never changed the fact that he loved his daddy just as much as he loved me.

My 15 y.o. son lost his father to cancer 2 years ago.  My son is now going thru some extreme upheaval because he never had a consistent male role model in his life during those VERY important informative years.  MY SON is now paying for OUR STUPIDITY.  Too many children, thousands of them, are paying that same price today.  DO NOT ADD YOUR CHILDREN TO THEM!

If you came looking for someone to support your deviousness against your children, you came to the wrong place.  But if you want to learn how get rid of that anger towards your ex and to CO-PARENT with your children's father, then stick around and read everything you can on this site.  We are here because we feel it is IMPERATIVE that a child have BOTH parents consistently in their life.

If you need to file for divorce, you WILL have to remain in the state where your children have resided for the last 6 months, per UCCJA, a federal act pertaining to state jurisdiction in child custody.  Stay home and file for divorce if you must, but DO NUT RUN WITH THEM!  

[Stepmom0418]

I dont know the situation in full but I will agree with Kitty on this one. I was abused by my exhusband and I took my 2 oldest kids and ran. I too denied my 2 girls of their daddy. Now I regret it and am living with the pain I caused my kids!! My girls now hold me liable because they didnt see their father when they were little. I have been able to change this situation over the past 5 years and now my girls have their daddy and he and I even get along and talk about the girls. Now I have figured out the damage I have done to my girls although at the moment that I was keeping them from their dad I did think it was the best for them. I found out it was the worst thing I could ever do and found out YEARS later what pain I caused them. My ex would never have harmed his kids!! I didnt care that he was their daddy. He hurt me and so I decided to hurt him with the worst thing possiable, his kids. I regret it and he knows that if I could change it I would!! Im telling you unless your kids are in danger DONT TAKE THOSE KIDS FROM THEIR FATHER!! Even if you dont see the harm now or in the near future, years down the line you will see the hurt you caused your kids and it will tear you apart watching your kids hurt because of something you caused!!!