Advice, please!!!

[Loving Dad]

I currently have joint custody of my 2 year old daughter (with my ex being the DP) and am currently having problems.

My situation is as follows: Per the coourt order, I am to have my daughter, every Wednesday night from 6-8 and every other weekend.  Well, now since my ex wants her freedom, I have my daughter every Wednesday night (overnight) and at least one other day during the week (often overnight as well)....with me providing the child care (i.e. my mother) the following day my daughter sleeps over   Basically now, we each have my daughter equal amount of time.

Our court order also states that my ex's mother is to watch my daughter unless we agree otherwise.

Here are the issues:

1. My ex has a tendency to change her mind, especially if she wants to get back at me.  Based on my situation, would I have a good chance of getting more custody (added to our court order), if I were to take her to court?  I have been documenting every day I have her and would like to have her an equal amount of time.

2. My ex has now stated that she has "activities" planned for my daughter 3 days a week and that she will no longer need me to provide child care at all.  I asked her what activities she has planned, but she will not tell me.  I know from past covernsations that it is a day care center, which does not make any sense b/c my daughter has several relatives who will watch her  and give her all the attention she needs for free.  I do not agree with her going to daycare, but my ex, I presume, is going to do so no matter what I say.  Is this contempt of court, since our court order states her mother will watch my daughter unless otherwise agreed upon?  If so, what should I do???

I am not sure what to do b/c I do have my daughter more than our court agreement states (every Wednesday from 6-8 and every other weekend) and do not know if I should pursue my issues and risk the chance of making my ex mad and not getting my daughter as often as I do.  Thanks!

[janM]

I don't think you have much to lose by getting a modification. Even if she gets mad, the worst she can do is go back to the CO, and if she doesn't follow that, she is in contempt.

She would be in contempt by not using her mother for childcare. Do you think pointing that out would dissuade her? Using the daycare would mean less time for you until you took her to court.

You will need solid documentation and/or witnesses to prove you have had her about half the time. Can you record phone calls in your state? BM can hardly say she objects to it if that has been the status quo.

Daycare is not a bad thing, but she is young....around 3 or 4, she will benefit greatly from it or preschool. I think Mom is just trying to limit your time.

[Chooch]

JOINT CUSTODY - is supposed to mean that she can't make any moves in regards to education (daycare), religion or medical ..
if she's making changes to any of those 3 items without YOUR consent .. she is in contempt..

contact the court / attorney