Father Seeking Visitation and or Custody

[Helping Brent]

On November 17, 2002 I learned that my wife was having an affair with a co-worker of hers.  I confronted her with this inforamtion that night and she denied the affair.  Here is where my nightmare begins.....
On November 22, 2002, my wife left for work (or so I thought).  she worked the night shift at Technicolor in Virginia.  I went in and kissed the girls (Madison 3 & Haley 1.5) goodnight and went to bed myself.  A few hrs later I was awakened by a pounding on my front door.  When I opened the door I could not believe my eyes.  There were a few police officers with their guns drawn.  My first thought was...DAMN THERE MUST BE A RAPIST ON THE LOOSE AGAIN.  How wrong I was.  The police told me that I had 15 minutes to pack my stuff and leave the home.  I thought I was dreaming.  I kept asking them what was goign on.  thats when they told me that my wife (Amy) had filed an abuse complaint and had a restraining order on me.  Keep in mind that my children are in the home sleeping while all of this is going on.  I wast not able to call my mom, sister or anyone.  All I kept thinking about was those two little girls asleep in the next room.  I was removed from the home and told that I had to stay away for 72 hours.  Still shocked at what had just happened I drove to my mothers home which was only 20 minutes away.  After I told my mother what had happened she called my wife.  By this time it was about 4:00 a.m.  amy answered the phone laughing and my mother could hear the girls in the background.  Amy said that I had pushed her and threatened her.  THIS WAS A LIE!!
Well after many calls I was still not able to get a hold of my wife on the phone.  When I finally returned to the house 72 hrs later (with my mother and step-dad in tow) I was shocked at what I saw.  Amy had trashed out new home.  She threw dirty diapers all over the house, destroyed my office and computer (I was at the time a Pharm. Rep).  tore up my clothes, threw food all over the house, etc.  What a mess.
The next thing I knew I was served with a restraining order from CONNECTICUT.  Seems she fled the state with her new b/f and with my kids.  This restraining order ended up being extended for a yr.  Everytime it was about to run out she would file another complaint.  Needless to say,  from November 22, 2002 until this past March, 2004 I had not seen my two little girls, nor was I even aloud to talk to them on the phone.  The mother had moved several times and never forwarded this inforation to myself, my family or my attorney.  Finally in march I received a phone call and it was Amy.  She was calling to tell me that she was getting married in April, 2004.  And that i could now talk to my kids.  What a mess.  I have been denied court ordered visitation of the last weekend or every month from Friday 7:00 p.m. - Sunday 7:00 p.m., court ordered phone calls on Mondays & Thursday (ONLY) from 7:30 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. , visitation on alternating holidays and the first two weeks of July.   I told Amy that i wanted to see the kids for spring break and had made arrangements to go to CT (an 8 hr drive one way) to get the kids for the 2 weeks for Spring break and then drive them back.  A few days before I wax to leave to get them she called and said I could  not have them that it was her turn to have them.  Now keep in mind I had not seen them in 17 months at this time.  I was so hurt I had no idea what to do next.  i contacted the CT police and told them of the situation.  They said it was the mothers right to refuse visitation and unless there was an order in the CT courts there was nothign they could do for me.  This is where Lor (my fiancee') took over.  She went online and printed out all the forms we needed for the Ct courts.  She then filed a "Foreign Judgment" in Ct and it was upheld.  We drove to CT on June 25 and picked up a certified copy of the Judgement and the next morning headed to the police department to pick up my kids.
While the kids were her I learned that their new step-dad Russell was beating (and i use that word because its the word my 5 yr old used) them with a belt on their bare bottoms.  I was just sick.  We took the kids to UVA emergency room for an evailuation and they/we also talked to a social worker.  My 3 yr old Haley had ring worm and both kids were underweight.  i was just sick sick sick.  Lori then filed a complaint with Child Protective Services in CT.  When the mother learned that she was under investigation she fled the state.  By this time we had a new court date for custody/visitation and abuse & neglect charges.  Well the court date was for July 26 and we were not able to get out there.  Because the mother had fled the state they were not able to investigate her and tnerefore we had no report to take with us to court.  The mother is now back in CT and the proper people have been notified again.  
I have tried to talk to Amy and ask her to stop letting Russell hit the kids with a foreign object...she didnt understand what that ment.  I said stop with the belt.  she said that he beats them with the belt becaus ehe loves them.  
Today I spoke to Jill at CPS and she said that she had heard from Amy and that she would be out to see her and the kids this week.  I asked if she would be able to tlak to the kids without the mother present (so she cant intimidate them) Jill said no.  the mother has a right to deny this request.  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET HELP!! MAYBE AFTER MY KIDS ARE IN THE HOSPITAL OR KILL.ED WILL THEY GET THE HELP THEY NEED.
My next problem is that I hav ebeen out on workers comp since Jan 13, 2004 after falling off of a 12 ft ladder and I have lost everything.  And I cant aford and attorney.
Any ideas?
Thank you for lettign me vent.

[sbradbury2]

My heart goes out to you and your children.  This is truly a horrible situation.  Is there anything that the District Attorney's Office can do?  How about filing an emergency petition to modify custody?  I believe that the history and any medical records you can get along with any school counselor records would be of help.  Basically anything you could think of that is solid proof documentation will help your case.  You could also recommend that the kids be privately interviewed by the judge.

Your first step is research though to see how to handle these things properly in your area.  //www.findlaw.com has been an excellent resource for myself.  And LexisOne.com has research available as well.  

Good luck to you.  I wish you and your children the best!




**DISCLAIMER** This is only my opinion and should not be relied upon as legal advice from a licensed attorney. Furthermore, any opinion given (by an attorney or non-attorney) should be researched and reviewed thoroughly before using such advice in a court action.

[Helping Brent]

We filed an "Ex-Parte" motion in CT while the kids were down here. It was denied however, they issued a "show cause" for July 26, 2004.  Because the mother was still under investigation with CPS (because she fled the state), we didnt have all of the paperwork we needed.  Needless to say this was dismissed.  We will have to file again only this time we will wait and get a copy of BOTH of the reports from CPS and Social Services.  When the kids were her with us we had a Social Worker come to our home.  the kids told her that were afraid of their step-dad Russell and they didnt like mommy anymore because she let him hit them with a belt.
Our next step is to file Motion to Modify Custody/Visitation and also paperwork regarding abuse and neglect on both the mother and step-fathers part.
Wish us luck

[Helping Brent]

Part II.

Well my fiancee' has decided to take matters into her won hands.  On Monday she tracked down the step-dads previous divorce papers and went to the courthouse and picked them up.  The first thing she noticed about the papers is that the step-dad told the new wife that she was his "3rd" wife when in fact, she is his "4th" wife.

She also noticed that the ex-wife had changed her name back to her maiden name and deicided to call information since the address was a local one and get her number and maybe give her a call.  Well she got the number she but the ex wasnt home.  Not wanting to give up she then went to Dominos Pizza and asked a drive where this address was.  Only 10 minutes down the road so off she went.

When she pulled up to the hoe a lady came house.  She asked if the was the ******* residence and the lady said "yes".  She then asked if she was "Julie" and she said "yes".  She introduced herself to Julie as ******* & ***** future step mom and asked if they could talk.  To make a long story short, she learned that Russell was unstable.  Could not hold down a job for more then a few months at a time, that he was mentally and verbally abusive.  She asked Julie if Russell ever hit her kids.  They have two kids, a 10 yr old boy who is mentally challenged and a little girl who has also suffered because of her brother condition and her fathers mistakes.  She asked if Russell had ever hit the kids and Julie said, he used to hit their son on the top of the head and then told Julie that he hit him there because you cant see the bruises on the head.  THIS FREAKED MY FIANCEE' OUT!!  she also proceeded to tell her that Russell used to brag about how he and his older brother used to give eachother blow jobs'.  Rick was 14 and Russell was about 12 at the time.  SICK SICK SICK.    

Well after learning all of this we are more eager to get the kids away from Russell and the mother only Child Protective Services is not taking us seriously.  They think that the father is just being vendictive.

PLEASE HELP!!!

[jilly]

In my opinion you need to get those kids out of there NOW.  Next time you have visitation don't take them back home. Give CPS the name and address of the ex wife and have them go out and talk to her about how he treated their children, etc. Keep pushing on CPS to put those kids in your home. Is there any way you can file for an emergency order?
You've got to do whatever you can to get those kids out of that situation!

[our4girlz]

You'll need a prayer I can tell you that. I would also like to obtain custody of my two kids, b/c I feel their mother is not a fit parent. She constantly tells them horrible things about me and then denies it when confronted. She moves all the time b/c she is running from creditors & has numerous b/f's living with her. She can't hold a job what-so-ever & I feel my home is more stable and I can provide for my children. However, if given a choice I know my kids would choose to live with her, b/c she makes them feel guilty and promises them all these great things that she never comes through with. If I called her up & asked for custody if I would still pay her the current CS amount, I bet she would do it. That's all my children are to her are dollar signs. The CS is never enough for "her" to live off of. She's unstable & has a history of mental problems, not to mention a host of other things. But for some reason no matter how great us dads are, the courts never really look at the best interest of the child, as they claim to do!

[sad stepmother]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.  What an injustice to you and the children.  I had a similar situation with my step son when his mother was using the back end of a wooden spoon on his bare bottom as a means of discipline. My step son was 3 at the time .  We took him to the ER and CPS was called and actually sided with the mother!  stating that we had no physical proof that my my stepson had indeed been beaten.  Since then we keep a very close eye on my step son and document any questionable marks on his behind.  During a second CPS investigation my setpson's mother was told that she needed to find an alternative way to discipline the child and was made to go through parenting classes and family counseling to avoid a substantiated finding of abuse.  The difference the second time was a different case worker.  Is it possible to request a different caseworker to handle the investigation?

Good Luck!!