Children will lie to forensics psychologist

[onedaddy]

My husband will be meeting with the forensics psychologist for the last time this evening.  He would like the 2 children aged 7 and 5 to be party to this, to see how the act with their father.  The 7 yo has stopped saying I love you to her daddy and has been extremely cold to him.  Yesterday on the phone she said I don't have to say I Love you, I live with mommy, I'm with her all the time.  FYI: We had it court ordered the children are in counseling but, she waited 5 months of the 30 days she was supposed to bring them and they've only just begun. The counselor informed us that the 7 yo very well knows about the custidy battle.

To my question:  She WILL lie tonight.  Although the forensics wants us to pick them up an hour prior to the session, their mother will be in the waiting room when they are finished and will still be undoubtedly under her influence.  Do we notify the forensics before we go in of this? He's a bit cocky and we fear getting on his bad side.

[nosonew]

He should be trained extensively in PAS and if the children exhibit these types of behaviors it should be a very big red flag to him.  I hope you get there prior to bb and they don't see her before their session.  You could always ask him questions like, "How do we handle this?"  "It is hard to see this change in them...they used to be so loving" etc.  

REMEMBER, DO NOT badmouth the mother.  Just state your points without pointing fingers!  Good luck and update later!!!

[onedaddy]

I just fear that since he's never met the children before and does not know thier true beavior he will not realize. But he is very well qualified and I will tell my husband to heed your adivise.
This is all so hard!
Much thanks.  

[nosonew]

It is my understanding that a forensic psychologist is looking for the parent who is most likely to encourage a healthy emotional and physical relationship with BOTH parents.  As hard as it is not to rant and rave about all of her crap and what she has done, is doing, and will do, it is best to stick to the facts, not place blame, yet make sure "events" that have occurred are communicated to him.  Read up on this...there is alot in the Sparc archives that will help!

[onedaddy]

 
Up until know we have been very matter of fact with him. I put together a very thorough 14 page chronology containing only things that were provable, with hundreds of pages of very substantial back-up.  He did not take the time to view it with my husband rather he said he viewed it and it's "bull" because it is his side.  He at times has been a bit antagonistic and other times quite warm.  I must believe that what he does has it's reasons.  We have been careful not to bad mouth the mother to this forensics and most importantly to the children.  We have done everything by the book and I must hope that the truth will come out.
Thanks again for the very sound advise.

[Lawmoe]

Point it out now.  Raising it later will not help.  If he is a reputable psychologists he understands the impressionability of children

Do it delicately and not as an attack. Remember that psychologists, like all people, hate to have their integrity impuned.   Make it his idea.

[onedaddy]

How would I do that?

The session wound up being a recorded play session with my husband and the children.  The psychologist was not even in the room to speak with.
My husband meets with him one last time and then myself next Thursday.  This is my husbands opportunity to tell him all he wants for him to know.  We basically thought it best to stick with the facts, the crimes the ex has commited against my husband, the CO's she has violated, her numerous contempt orders, the tape recording of her threats, her husbands extremely violent past, everything we have already gave him in our chronology that has specific proof.  If there is time we will throw in our hear say that the children are being manipulated and told specifically not to hug daddy or tell him I Love You.
There are some truely despicably people out there!