I need opinion (MOTHER GETTING SHORT END OF THE STICK IN CUSTODY BATTLE, BUT SHOULDN'T BECAUSE THE FATHER IS AFTER REVENGE

[Joey D]

I NEED HELP!  I'm fighting for my son, I feel evaluator was bias. I'm a stay at home mother of a daughter(9), & son(2). I was never married, he wouldn't help support the family. He has had 22 job in last 6 yrs. I'm 28, & had enough. He used me to be the financially support. The problem I think is I used to be a dancer, but only for 5 mo. after I had son. They are using it against me, he also danced, but it is not looked upon for some reason.  Haven't danced for a yr. 1/2 now. I am now married to a wonderful man who is younger then me 26. Complete opposite of what I was used to.  He is successful, (young,attractive) I know what people think, so no I'm not a gold diggin dancer. I just got lucky to find a good one, I think I was totured enough (5) yrs.
Father is 32 still dependent on his mom (lives w/her still). He has temp.custody. Jurisidiction doesn't belong in CO., the father lied to get possession of my son. Told me he was moving to Omaha, then took him to CO. to start proceedings there. Son lived w/me, didn't have 6 mo. in CO. I didn't know the laws, I had horrible legal council at the time. I filed exparte. Magistrate signed order, gave me temp custody, then father files, court didn't even give me 24 hrs. to get back for hearing, I couldn't prepare. Father told lies to court, I appeared by phone,  He gave fake documents. They gave him the baby. I DON'T Understand.
My son is in Daycare 40-50 hrs a wk, his sister misses him & doesn't understand how this is happening. Father has home field advantage, I don't live there, he lied to courts, I have him on recording blaming his lawyer for lying. He said, he feared for son life w/me, then said I never said that, my lawyer said & put that. Courts won't even look at my evidence, they are crooked court system.   My main questionn is:
Evaluator was hired by me ($4000) she twisted my words around in report. She said that I was above average intelligence, loving, affectionate, friendly mother who clearly loves her children, but she highly recommends I back off my highly affectionate parenting style, because I cause my son stress when he separates from me. She also, says that since my daughter is a straight A student, & is doing well that shows good parenting. but since my X boyfriend said that my husband & I won't last, she based her decision on since his mother takes care of him & MY son that if he loses his job, Brock's life wouldn't change, but if we don't work out then my son's life would change drastically, HOW COULD SHE MAKE THAT STATEMENT? She isn't a fortune teller.  
She failed to mention 1 word about sores on my son's penis, and butt from returning from his grandmothers care. She told me he had a diaper rash from sitting in POOP to long. I checked his diaper, & they looked like cuts, so I immediately took him to DR. they were on the verge of getting infected, w/bacterial compound & crusting. So they were there for a couple of days, it was horrible. Dr. said, he had something between his cheeks for a long period of time, to cause such liasons. This was 2nd time happening, 1st time, I didn't want to accuse, just in case it was accident, but 2nd time occured, I started to get suspicious, I confronted his father, he said he didn't know how they got there because his mom had him. That day I had interview with evaluator over the phone. I told her what happened, sent her the pictures on email, & sent her DR report.  She said, she would confront GMa, & get back to me, see didn't.  I called left message, she calls back & said I emailed you back, saying I would take into consideration. I never received that email. The funny thing is in the report, not ONE word about it was in the report.  I'm worried about what kind of professional she is, especially in the best interest of the child. I have all the proof in the world, that I didn't do it, because I only get my son every other weekend. Cuts were there for at least couple of days. I don't think she looked into it, because 2 wks ago, when GMa brought son, she changed his diaper but didn't wipe the remains off his butt, I thought he went again, when I checked it was a clean diaper, but dirty bottom. He smelled so bad, his pants stunk up my car seat. So if she would have said something to her, I don't think she would be so lazy, especially if she knew I had concerns.  My son shares a room in the basement with father, he can't afford to get his own place.  He has own room, sister, quality time w/at least 1 of his parents. Grandma even works full-time. The worst thing is my son freaks out with major temper tantrums when returned to his father, which I got on audio, & video. Father doesn't care he is only after revenge, because I left him because of his work history, & his cheating. He has no morals, he doesn't care that he is hurting his son. It's been 10 mos. since case started, my son is getting worse, not better, he hits his father in the face, & says, "get back daddy, get back" now tell me if there is something wrong there. I only see him 6 days/mo. father sees him 24. He should be attached to his father. His father has criminal record. I never even had a speeding ticket. Father isn't an affectionate person at all, I am & the evaluator is asking me to not show so much affection to my son, Where in the world did society start to ask for us to stop showing love to our kids? Did I miss that somewhere? I would love to show everyone the Pictures of the cuts, & you tell me if you wouldn't be pissed if your child came to you this way. WHAT SHOULD I DO? They said, if an evaluator goes against you, then that is usually how the judge will go.
I just pray to god that the in the final the Judge will see that the best place for my son is to come home where he was taken from. I won't stop fighting, I already spent $24,000 on it, so why not another 20 on a appeal.  Let me know what or how I could do to prove the evaluator didn't do her job.  He has had 6 jobs in 10 mos. he quit his job a month after her report came out. Imagine that!.

[hisliltulip]

Ok, breathe...

Has the JUDGE made the final order?  Or are you going off of what the evaluator said in their report?

[Lawmoe]

Custody issues undoubtedly deal with a differnece of opinion and vastly different fact as related.  Judges are the arbiter of credibility.

You are now on the downside of a custody battle and must make a strong showing to reverse it.  You MUST have a good lawyer who will walk you through the mine field of a custody evaluation and show you how to create a case.

Choose you lawyer wisely. Plan a defense and an attack based on facts you can prove. if you cannot prove them now, figure out how you can with witnesses and evidence.

It can be expensive but far less costly in the long run

[Joey D]

I defiantley know how expensive it can get, I'm 25,000 in the hole. I've had 3 lawyers. 1st one I fired, he is the reason I'm in this mess. Jurisdiction shouldn't have been in Co. but in NE. I didn't know the laws, so I binding myself to Co. when father came and stole my baby from his home, he didn't even have 6 months. I have alot of evidence, but need the right attorney which I'm in the process of doing, but I want to make sure it is the right one, the 2nd one withdrew. She was the one who told me to have this evaluator & to ask for the evaluation which cost me about 4500.00 this made that kind of money to lie, twist words around, & not report an neglect issue. Send me your email address, so I could email you the picts & please give me your opinion on what you think, or if you would be upset if your baby was returned to you in this condition.  She did not even mention 1 word on the report of the incident. I have audio recordings to back up my word on 95% of everything, so I am confident on my story. But my last attorney told me that It would be hard to influence a judge, once an evaulation report is made, I don't agree because I don't think a judge would rather have my son in daycare then at home with me and his sister.  Father has had 22 jobs in last 5 yrs. How's that for stability? I can't beleive she went that way. As for my X attorney's, when this is all over they will be hearing from me, for malpractice. My 2nd attorney wouldn't call me back for 2 wks, & didn't report the sores to anyone when I asked her to, I finally got mad and sent her an email saying get off your ass, and move on this important issure, So she called me back and said I think you need someone else to represent you. I couldn't beleive that, I gave her 7500.00 to do nothing and just cost me more stress, money, and problems. The people in that small town are something else. I tried to get it moved to the proper state NE. but failed because CO wouldn't let it go. But I have proof on audio that he lied and blamed it on his lawyer, so I don't win this time, I will appeal it to the supreme court.  They will listen and not be from that sorry little town.

[Joey D]

Hello,
      We still have to do the final.  I'm fighting it all the way, there is no way this dad is the better parent.  He lies constantly, which I can proof with audio tapes. I'm just scared to lose my baby he my world, both of my kids are my world, if I lose him, I will lose part of myself, but I just think that I got a bias evaluator, and she didn't like me for some reason, probably because I danced at one time in my life. which I don't think that should matter, because I put a roof over my kids, and they have always came 1st. I never have asked for any kind of help. He still lives with his mom at 32. 22 jobs in last 6 yrs, and on his 6th since case started.  I just can't beleive how expensive it is $25,000 into it., but my baby is worth more, so if I have to spend 50 then so be it, I just want him back, but hopefully that piece of S---. will have to pay some of my legal fees because he wrongly filed. Jurisdiction shouldn't be in Co, but in NE. I have him on tape saying he lied, and his lawyer did to.  I want to know if evaluator can get in trouble for not reporting neglect issue, send me your email addresss so I can send you the picts of the liasons that were caused by his grandmother. tell me if you would be upset if 1 of your boys came home to you in this condition.
             thanks for replying.                   Joey!

[hagatha]

There seem to be many inconstincies in this story. Please clear these up so we can better help you.

IS your daughter also his child?
Did he not work consistantly the entire time you were together?
What other jobs did you have, other than as a dancer?
Grandmother is taking care of father and child physically and financially?
Father is not presently working?
Son was given to you with such bad diaper rash it caused cuts on his genitals and rear?
Child is in daycare more than 40 hr a week?
Evaluator does not mention diaper rash in her report?
Evaluator does comment on your marriage and the stability of your marriage as a factor?
Evaluator tells you the degree of affection you show son during exchange is damaging to son?
Did the Dr that examined son for diaper rash make a report to any child protective agency?
Father never worked and was cheating while with you?
Did his criminal record happen before he was with you or during his time with you?
Does dad pick him up during the exchance or is grandma there?

The Witch

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