What are my rights???? HELP

[karynmb123]

I live in Viginia and am the NCP of a 6yo little girl. My ex and I have been in custody battle for years and I am still trying to get my baby back with me.

However, my question is this, If the custodial parent is physically availabe to care for the child, does the NCP automatically get custody in his/her absence.

I ask because my ex has been deployed for at least 18  months. He called me the night before he left and informed me that he was taking our daughter to his mothers house and that I could call there and pick her up there. But can he just leave her there? Don't I have the right to go get her and keep her until he returns??

Please anyone with advice on this I would really appreciate it.

Thanks, K

[Lawmoe]

It is not automatic in most states.

Your order must specify that each party has a right a of first refusal . That means each parent has the right and opportunity to care for the children in the other parent's absence.

[karynmb123]

Well where does that leave me. Because the current court order does not have that clause. My previous one did and I do not know why is was not incuded in the most recent one. However, as her other parent and legal guardian it would seem to me that I should have a right to just go get her until he returns. But because I have been screwed by the system so many times I am afraid to do that without a judges order.

I have an attorney, but he has not been a help to me here as he takes forever to get back to me and I'm afraid the longer I leave her there the more it seems I am OK with her being there and I am not OK with that at all.

Any suggestions on what I should do?? Her father may be gone for 2 years, its not like he'll be back next week. If that were the case I wouldn't be having such a fit about this.

Anyway, ty for responding and any more advice from anyone would be appreciated.

TY -K

[joni]

I would not let that child stay with grandma.  What if you let your daughter stay there for the next 18 months...what if, in month #16, God forbid, dad gets killed overseas.  You'll be fighting grandma for custody and the first thing that grandma would say is "she's been living with me for 16 months, she lives more with me than her mother."  The fact that grandma thinks it's OK for your daughter to live with you over her, I have a problem with this grandma.

I think you need a new atty.  You need an atty who's certified in family law.  An atty who isn't responsive to you is worthless.  That's how your right of first refusal fell thru the cracks.  The lack of your attorney's diligence and follow through.

Go to this site.  Enter your state abbreviation and you'll find the atty's in your state who are certified in family law:

http://www.aaml.org/Directory.htm

[Lawmoe]

Your only option is to file a Motion seeking to include that Right of First Refusal in your Order. It is likely to occur.