Holiday Issue

[ER]

I have been notified by my son's aunt that his mother is taking him tomorrow for Thanksgiving. She told me this because she knew it was my Holdiay this year and I had plans with my son.  Our court visitation schedule gives her 2 days of visitation (wed/thurs), I have custody at this time while we are still going throught the trial process. Our order also states that each parent is supposed to nofity the other of intentions during a Holiday one week prior to that day. (even years with the father, odd years with the mother). My ex has not called nor made any attempt to let me know unless she brings him home this evening after her visitation or deceides to keep him overnight without telling me.  What can I do to avoid this?  It is truly my Holiday with my son and my ex is most famous for not following the court order and doing whatever she feels she can even by using my son as a pawn. She is a master at changing things to her advantage at the last minute. I do not need this near the Holidays nor does my son need this.

I do want to be fair, but when I try, things get out of hand and it gets worse than before. So, do I follow the court schedule to a "T" and say "I am sorry, you have him next year" or give in just to keep things quiet? I am just concerend for my son's well being. Need Help!!

[kitten]

I recommend ALWAYS following the CO to a "T".  If things get really ugly and you end up back in court, YOU will be better off.

Good luck and happy holidays!

[ER]

>I recommend ALWAYS following the CO to a "T".  If things get
>really ugly and you end up back in court, YOU will be better
>off.
>
>Good luck and happy holidays!


Thanks, I have followed the CO to the "T" but she has not at times and has tried to provoke me so that I "do something" to help her out in our case to make me look bad. She has been using the "anger" thing to say I am bad. LOL

The real fun starts at Christmas because it is a weekend Holiday and guess what, it is her weekend of visitation, but I get him Christmas this year! Image how that will be!! LOL

Thanks for your input, Happy Holidays!

[wendl]

Well if it is your year for Thanksgiving then you get him and if you already had plans then I wouldn't change then, simply state to ex that this is the even year and your time for thanksgiving and you and son have plans.

If she fails to do so she is in conetempt.  File contempt charges against her for denial.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[MixedBag]

I think your real problem is gonna be WHEN on Thanksgiving can you get your child because your order doesn't have a start and end time.

And holidays usually take priority over normal time with the child.

I would like to make a recommendation though, even though your order clearly says even years are yours for holidays and odd years are hers, I'm not sure that I would like that arrangement.  I personally would prefer that the holidays are defined and that they are alternated (so that one has Thanksgiving and the other Christmas in the same year etc.).

Just food for thought....I couldn't imagine not spending a single holiday with the kids for ONE whole year and then getting all of them (and then that year the EX will feel like you did last year).  

[ER]

>I think your real problem is gonna be WHEN on Thanksgiving
>can you get your child because your order doesn't have a start
>and end time.

Yes, our order does state start and end times; however, Thanksgiving is Thursday and it is a schedule visitation for her with my son but being that this year is mine for the Holidays, it cancels her day out. She actually brought him home this evening and stated she is picking him up tommorrow because her court papers say she has him for Thanksgiving. Funny, she muct have been in another court with another man over another child!! LOL
>
>And holidays usually take priority over normal time with the
>child.
>

Yes, I know, but she does not accept that fact. LOL It would be the same thing if it was her Holdiay regardless. That is how this works.


>I would like to make a recommendation though, even though your
>order clearly says even years are yours for holidays and odd
>years are hers, I'm not sure that I would like that
>arrangement.  I personally would prefer that the holidays are
>defined and that they are alternated (so that one has
>Thanksgiving and the other Christmas in the same year etc.).

Yes, but until our custody is settled, I have been advised to follow the CO to a "T". On Christmas, she gets him Xmas eve, I get him Xmas day and then he goes back to her because it is a weekend and it will be her weeknd for visitation. I prefer to have the whole day or at least both even and day but our situtation is very tense. Me and the ex have not spoken a decent word for over a year and it isn't gettng better to say the least. It isn't that I would not talk toher, you just can't. It is her way no matter whay and she beleives it to a point that she will go to the end to get it. Sad but the true menaing is lost and that is the child.
>


>Just food for thought....I couldn't imagine not spending a
>single holiday with the kids for ONE whole year and then
>getting all of them (and then that year the EX will feel like
>you did last year).  

The problems is our order states Holidays can be worked out with a written agreement one week prior to the Holiday as long as both party's agree. If we do not agree than it goes by the dates and schedule times regardless. So, if she would have told me even a few days prior to wanting my son for Thanksgiving, I would have had no problems with that but that is just it, she refuses to cooperate or at in the very least communicate. And now, the night before tells me she has court papers stating that she does get him?  So, by tomorrow morning, she will come to my home and bang on the door until she gets my son for the day. MY only concern now is that my son is going to have a bad day becasue of all this and if I do let him go, then it is just giving in to her to do more against our CO. It truly stinks that this has to be this way and nothing can be done about it until we see a judge!

[wendl]

ER I hope you have a good Thanksgiving.

When the final orders get put in place make sure it states that holidays take precedence (sp) over regular visitation, just so bm isn't confused. Just like special occassions do (birthdays, etc)


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[ER]

I have him today for Thanksgiving! She did come to the door very pissed off, I didn't answer so I would assume by Monday, I will be gettng a comtempt charges filed on me for being with my son on my Holiday this year!!!LOL

We have a pre-trial in less than 2 weeks, I will ask the Judge specifiy the Xmas Holiday for sure.

Thanks
Happy Turkey day!