My narcissist ex

[susy109]

I was wondering if anybody out there has had any of the problems I am having.  My attorney and my son's attorney, GAL, does not see anything wrong w/ the way my ex treats me or our son.  Our son is 17 mths old.  Just for starters, the other day, we had a doctors appt for our son.  On the way out, our son was screaming, crying and reaching for me while my ex held him and walked right out of the doctor's office.  I was lieft, as usual, paying the co pay and couldn't even say goodbye to or calm my son down.  

[DecentDad]

Hi,

From the little bit you've described, there's nothing that suggests your ex is narcissistic.  But we don't have all the info you do, of course.

Feel free to describe why your ex is not qualified to calm down your son after a doctor's appointment (which often leave young children upset).  I'm guessing that it was your ex's custodial time, that he and you don't enjoy each other's company, and that he feels you attempt to undermine his parenting (e.g., that the son needs YOU to comfort him).  If all of that is true, simply walking out of a doctor's appointment with an upset child and leaving you behind is all understandable, no?

If you have two objective people (including your own attorney) telling you that you're essentially hypersensitive, that could be a sign for you to look inward and assess reality.

Else, you're in for a long 17 years.

Best,
DD

[susy109]

Hi,

Trust me, you have no idea what I have been through with this guy.  The women at day care see it when he picks our son up.  In the 38 yrs they have been in business, NEVER, have they seen a dad like this.  That is what one of them told the GAL.    

 

[joni]

What is he doing that upsets the daycare so much?  Please share.

[DecentDad]

With just your perception and vague commentary or adjectives-- rather than true facts-- it's really tough for anyone here to help you.

One very important FACT you mentioned is that two people aware of the details in your case and without a stake in the outcome have told you that the father isn't doing anything wrong.  One of these people was your own attorney.

Provide FACTS (not feelings), and people can give you some helpful feedback.  Without using subjective adjectives like "narcissistic" or "never seen a dad like this", what are your complaints about him?

People here can provide great guidance if that's what you truly want.  Else, if you're just looking to vent, that's another approach.

DD

[susy109]

Well, he has jerked our son away from the lady at day care when she was trying to help put his jacket on, put in a false complaint against the day care, tells them he can't pay for day care, then shows up a day or two later and pays them, had our son's first hair cut without telling me...  Veterans Day he had off, I worked, he called my mom and asked if our son was there, she answered yes.  Ten min later he was at the door grabbing our son from his grandmother, slaps our sons hands when he throws a piece of food and yells no in his face...

[Lawmoe]

You describe behavior that has little to do with the best interests of a child and which is usual considering the conflict between the parents during the pendency of the divorce proceedings.

If you concentrate too much on petty issues, it dilutes your case.

[joni]

.

[MYSONSDAD]

This person sounds slightly paranoid....


"Children learn what they live"