What should I do know?

[p8ntballdad]

Hello all and thank you for taking the time to read this. Any help will be greatly appreciated.

I am a 27 yr old single male. I have a 4 yr old daughter with a woman I was never married to. We have been separated for about 2 1/2 yrs. Up to now we've had "unoffical" joint custody, in that we never went to court, we just worked it out on our own. She has recently threatened to take me to court, and possibly try and take my daughter away from me. Unfortunately this decision is not being made in the best interest of our daughter, it's completely vindictive and personal. Everyone I know agrees that I am an excellent father and love my daughter more than anything.

My question is, what rights do I have as the father. I checked with the court systems and not only is my name on the birht certificate, but I also have a registered paternity number in the state of Ohio. I'm just not sure exactly what that means.

I'm also wandering if I should get a lawyer or if  there is another form of mediation that we can try, that is recongnized by the courts.

[joni]

Of course you need to get a lawyer.  You can try mediation alone, but you're going to have to do a ton of work to make sure you know the law and your rights before you agree to anything.  It'll be a full time job for you.

For example, in Illinois, if the parents are not married, the mother is awarded sole custody.  The same in Michigan.  It's near impossible to challenge this.

So you'd have to check Ohio and see what rights are built in for you, as an unwed father.

[janM]

It's the same in Ohio. An unmarried mom has custody by default. You have to prove you're the dad (which apparently you have done by signing an affidavit of paternity, if that's what that is, although you would be wise to have a DNA test done) and go to court to set up parenting time and child support. You may be able to do this without a lawyer, unless Mom is making false allegations or something, or you want to try to get more than the standard "visits".

As things stand, she holds all the cards.

What part of Ohio are you in? I am an Ohioan too.

[p8ntballdad]

I'm in central Ohio, I currently live in Delaware, but work in Columbus.

I'm going to start looking for lawyers today. If anyone can suggest someone that would be great. Thanks so much for the help so far. I know this is going to be a battle, I just wish we both wanted what was best for our daughter. Thanks again.  

[wendl]

Get your documentation showing that you and ex have had joint residential custody for the last few years in order to help maintain the same amount of time you have had.

Find a good attorney and continue to try and see your child as much as possible.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[joni]

get yourself a lawyer who's certified in family law.  it may cost you more now, but it'll save you lots in the end.

//www.aaml.org/directory.htm

[Lawmoe]

Agreements by the parties are never binding until they are memorialized as a Court order. Certainly your past curse of dealing and scheule are in your favor. You should maintain a calendar to document the days that each parent has the child.  You should also memorialize any agreements that yyou reach regarding arenting issues and schedules in writing by sending a letter to the other parent and keeping a copy for your records.

You should try mediation first, if that fails, file your own motion to formalize the arrangement. Until you do that you are walking on egg shells.