i need a second opinion

[dad2bdad]

ok so i posted a few messages months ago , my ex girlfriend was pregnant with my baby and was trying to keep me away from ever being a part of his life. well the day he was born she had a change of heart and let me go to the hospital. i got to see him born and i stayed the first nite in the hospital with him he was born oct. 22 03 well the weeks following she has been nice and let me spend 2-4 hours a day with him, wich is more than i ever could dream of. its been great
so now she cant get her life together and i have her and her mom and my son l;iving at my dads house, while i live at my new girlfriends.
to make things even more complicated my dad has cancer and babbys mom and grandma offered to help him since he will be bed ridden soon.
so now the drama.  babies mom is making her self more and more busey trying tio have fun with friends (that i dont mind) the fact that she will not help schedule with me time to see my son and she says i matter to him as much as her friends and she doesnt need to think about what i want (thats fine too) but she is not think of the effects this has on my son. so i just try not to argue with her and bend my schedule to fit hers even when she calls at 11p.m. and tells me i have a chance to see my son i better take it. i dont want a  war with her but i cant keep getting bullied. on top of that everytime she is mad she threatens to move to a town about 4 hours away.
my concerns are if i make her mad she will move and i will have to go to court up there, even court down here will be hard especially whats going on with my dad and the fact that i am taking over his business
i am confused on the court prosses because i have heard so many storys from what friends went through when there parents went through it and the stories i have read of fathers or mothers sound like they just simply knew what to do.
 oh yeah i have been beging her to go to a mediater with me or at least sit with me and draw up a basic parenting plan but she refuses. she says she doesnt need to be concerned with that stuff she has him and she is fine
how much time and energy will it take for me to gain some control.
i have documented on paper and recording the last 10 months
and thought i would right this long drawn out letter before i go to an attorny im not sure if there is more i could do without court. i dont want to make things harder for me, my son, or babys mom
 sorry so long dad2bdad

[mudbunnies]

you need to GO TO THE COURTHOUSE and IMMEDIATELY file for paternity/joint custody whatever.

Now this is just my opinion

1. Is your name on the birth certificate?
    No, you file for paternity
    Yes, you file for joint custody

2.  Mommy dearest is an extreme flight risk, take the first step, serve her so that at least court is in your area not whereever she takes off to when she files for support against you.

3. You need to READ READ READ READ READ, get prepared, keep documenting, spend all the time you can...


If you take action NOW, and first, you have many more alternatives and options... filing should also institute some standard "operating procedures" that will keep mom and baby in the court's jurisdiction so that you can keep in contact and institute some REGULAR visitation.

These standard procedures are in every courthouse, go visit yours, get a copy of their standard visitation guidelines, see what your missing out on!

Even if you file now on your own, to save money, you can get enough info from the web and this site to prepare the necessary petition and serve her, get the basics set up and then use your tax return if you get one to get an attorney to handle the rest.....

COME ON, dont let this opportunity pass you by, if she runs, and files in another state, guess what, you get to travel!