Judicial Chaos

[Str8]

Greetings,

I'll try to keep it short, but that will be difficult. I lived in Texas from 1998 until August of 2001. In August of 2000 I learned I was going to be a father. The mother, Brandi, and I stayed together through the pregnancy and gave birth to a beutiful baby girl in May of 2001. In the middle of our pregnancy Brandi's parents divorced. Shortly before August, her mother relocated to Colorado, and her father moved to California. We discussed our options since I had no family in Texas, and her parents were moving out of state.

We decided to move to Kansas so I could complete my graduate degree, so we moved together as a family. Kansas is where my family is from, and we would have their support while I was completing my degree. We lived together from August of 2001 until August of 2003. In that time we paid equal in all living expenses and child expenses. My grandmother babysat our daughter while I was in school and when Brandi was at work.  She did this free of charge.

In August of 2003 we seperated under difficult circumstances. I stayed focused on doing what was right for our daughter although I was hurting terribly. I went to counseling and got through the hurt of infidelity. We moved into separate apartments and worked out a custody arrangement where Brandi would keep Jessica on Sun, Mon, Tues and I would keep her Wed, Thurs, Friday and we would alternate Saturdays. We would take care of the financial expenses when she was in our care, and my family would continue to babysit.

Brandi had intended to take me to court for custody, but that was put to a hault when she received a 2nd DUI the weekend before her appointment with her attorney. I also had legal cousel and was informed I was doing what was best for our child, but to try to get our arrangements in writing. Brandi refused to put our arrangements in writing.

After we seperated, Brandi, Jess and I went to see a child psychologist a couple times to make sure Jess was coping okay with the seperation. The psychologist condoned our arrangements and encouraged us to avoid the legal system because we could save a lot of $ working things out between ourselves.

We were successful with our arrangements for a year and 4 months. I had enrolled Jessica in the Early Head Start program where she was doing well and excited to be around kids her own age. I was intending to finish my Masters Degree in May of 2005 and that was when Jessica would be done with her first year of school.

Brandi wanted to move away from Kansas and I knew this was going to be a difficult discussion. We had agreed to stay in Kansas until Jessica was done with school in May. However, I learned through rumors that Brandi was intending to leave the state with Jessica in mid January. Alarmed by the news I visited with my attorney. He advised me to confront Brandi and then to proceed from there.

I did as advised and confronted Brandi. She swore she would never do any thing like that to me or to Jessica. The next day Brandi fled the state with our daughter. That was on January 7th, 2005.

My attorney and I filed a petition for temporary custody on the 13th of January and had the papers served to her mother's house in Texas. The following week I had papers served to me from Texas with a restraing order placed against me stating that I could not disturb the peace of the child. I received the papers on the 19th of January and had a hearing scheduled for the 24th of January in Texas. I had less than two business days to find an attorney to represent me in Texas, and the hearing in Kansas was scheduled for the 26th. I luckily managed to find an attorney to represent me and she said I had little to worry about since we had papers filed in the Kansas courts first and that we would be protected by the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act.

This is where the chaos begins. The Judge in Kansas proceed with a hearing to determine jurisdiction. He later ruled that Kansas has continuing and exclusive jurisdiction for determining custody. Meanwhile, in Texas, the judge ruled that Texas is the home state of the child, although he didn't declare Texas to have jurisdiction.  The judges have discussed their rulings and although they have yet to conclude anything, discussed the possibility of appellate courts, and both want to encourage mediation.  

It has been exactly 13 weeks since I've seen our daughter. I miss her dearly, and have racked up an epensive bill because I am having to pay for two attorneys. Jessica has lived in Kansas all but the first 90 days of her life. This is her home. This is where she has established lasting relationships and I feel that the judicial system is failing us. My family has been supportive both emotionally and financially, but the money will eventually run out.

All I want is equal time with our daughter. But Jessica and I both have been deprived of that because of Brandi's actions, and our case doesn't seem to be moving forward at all. I feel helpless, and wonder how long it will be before we have an actual temporary custody hearing.

I'd appreciate any advice or referrals to organizations who may be able to help.

Thanks,

Str8

"Agape--I wish you no harm"

[cinnallen]

I'm new to this site and have been reading post after post for hours now.  It's amazing that there are so many people out there experiencing what we do time and time again!  I don't know what to tell you on yours as we are also looking for answers to our jurisdiction issue.  Your post caught my interest because you mentioned you live in Kansas.  Is your case by chance in Sedgwick County?  From what I understand it's a messed up system.  We actually live in another county, but my husband and his ex filed for divorce in Sedgwick where they were living at the time.  They both eventually moved to our town, but the divorce papers were never finished - the divorce was final, but the property/debts/custody issues were to be determined at a later date.  To make a long story (very) short, our judge wouldn't touch the case until unsettled issues were finalized and the case was formally moved to our jurisdiction.  So now, the ex is in heaven - abusing the system, using delay tactics, continuing hearings, anything and everything to prolong the inevitable.  She has a high-priced attorney (that someone else is footing the bill for) in Sedgwick who knows the ins and outs of the system there and doesn't have to pay her to travel, etc.  Anyway, she REFUSES to sign anything because once the issues are finalized, the case moves back home where it belongs.  She doesn't want it here because she doesn't feel she will get a fair trial at home.  (Could it be because she has harassed and irritated all of the judges in our district - marching into their chambers demanding their attention and calling them personally to rant and rave about the injustice?  Could it be because she has threatened to sue many, MANY people including her first - of FOUR - attorneys as well as our child custody investigator??)

Anyway, we too are looking for answers here.  Good luck!

cinnallen