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How much should kids know about Child Support?

Started by gemini3, Dec 03, 2008, 01:56:53 PM

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gemini3

My husband sends his CS checks via certified mail every month.  We ask for a return receipt because we have had problems in the past with her claiming not to have gotten it.  So, we just got the return receipt back today, signed for by his 11yo daughter.

I know that we're probably getting riled up over petty things, but we don't think that it's appropriate for BM to share financial details of the divorce with their children.  To add to this, the same daughter has been asking a lot of questions about how much money we make lately - which I had attributed to the usual children's curiosity - but now think that it has something to do with the child support.  BM regularly asks for additional money, or claims that my husband doesn't pay enough, so I'm wondering if she hasn't said the same to the children.

I'm interested to hear what others think of this topic, and other people's experiences.  How does this affect the children, if at all?

janM

Did dd sign for it because Mom wasn't home?

If Mom is sharing adult issues with her, and putting her in the middle, she should be tarred and feathered.

Dad should tell Mom to button it (nicely of course :)) and that if she feels a modification is in order, go for it. How long since the last one? Is Dad making more now? I hope he isn't sending Mom more than he's required to.

There are some instances where a child needs to know that CS exists. For example, 2 years ago my grandson's mom (NCP) had to spend a month in jail for non support. We (his dad and I) had to explain that Mom is supposed to pay to help Dad out and that when she didn't, the judge make her do "time out" in jail because she didn't follow the rules. I don't know how much my son and DIL tell him, but he already knows it's there.

Your dh's ex should NOT be having their daughter "interrogate" him about his finances.

gemini3

No, she has to go to the post office to sign for it, so BM would have to drive her there.

janM

Oh, geez....so Mom was too lazy to get out of the car and go in and sign for it? I'm surprised they let her sign for it. Maybe have it restricted so that Mom has to sign?

I guess all he can do at this point is, when dd starts asking about his income, tell her that it's a grownup thing, and it's none of her concern. Same goes if she asks about CS.

Davy

Just FYI.  I'm not familiar with US Postal policies.  Several years ago I moved a few miles to 'keepin it country' so now I'm on a rural route and the carrier brings certified mail to the door for signature.  I suspect anyone who answers the knock/doorbell would be allowed to sign for the mail.