New to Custody wars, Father asking for help.

[ed19627]

Hello, I am Ed, can we be friends.. No just kidding..

Anyway.. On with the show.. I know its not funny but thinking seriously can kill easier than happy thoughts.

Anyway..

I was a stay at home father. My kids mother(not married) decided to have this guy she met move in with her 2 days before I was thrown out. The reason I was thrown out is because neither myself or the kids or even her has ever seen this guy before. She states she knew him about 12 yrs ago but never has had contact with him till a few days before I was thrown out. thrown out on 11/3 - 11/4.

Anyway here we are on 12-20 and I was slapped with custody papers by the mother. I have tried to get custody papers done 3 times prior to today's date but every time I want to see a free legal services they had some type of run around that wouldn't allow me to do what I needed to to file.

Anyway status of today. I haven't seen my kids basically at all. To the point where my older son BEGGED me to pull him out of school(12-5) early so he can see me. He was afraid if i went to the house that I would have the police called on me again.(3 times thus far)

Anyway I went to a therapy appointment for my oldest son and actually got the mother to allow me to take the kids home with me for a few hrs. 7pm to 8am. ya I know crap hrs but its better than no hrs.

Anyway I have learned a few things about what is going on..

The mother has stated to me that the reason I haven't been able to see the kids is because the person she is letting stay with her isn't allowing her to talk to me to see the kids.

She also stated if this were to take place at the house she would have called the police on me again.

She has lied 3 times on the custody form that I can see.

I do want the best for my kids, BUT.. I feel bad for what her actions are toward me because they are not actually her own. I told her if she needed help that she can contact me anytime. I have told her over and over that not allowing me to see the kids is only hurt her chances of doing the right thing for herself. ya throwing my own case away.. But I do love my kids and I care for them a lot. But i also cant see her going down cause of some idiot.

Anyway. The case is set for Jan 9th. I am wondering what I should do and what not. I have kept logs of everything that happened from 11/2 to today. I have gotten a lawyer finally after she filed suit against me. And I just would like some advice on what to do.

Thanks for your time..

I will provide more info if needed.

[Gestalt]

what was the outcome of her calling the police on you?

[ed19627]

Each time the police made me leave. They were called on me 3 times.

I had no choice but to leave.

[ocean]

Did they write a report....(that she can use for harassment?) OR did you get a report stating that you were there trying to get visits?

[ed19627]

I don't know what they did they made me leave before I got a chance to see what was going on.

In each case they made me leave.

They wouldn't let me take the kids the 1st night i was thrown out.

2nd time a friend came that I knew from the police department told me don't show up unless I got some type of paper saying I could come.

They never gave me a copy of a report of they made one so I am unsure.

[Gestalt]

You are entitled to a copy of the police reports, go to the PD and ask for a copy.

[ed19627]

I don't believe they wrote a report up.

On another note I got to see the kids some of the this weekend.

Lets just say I had to drive 333 miles to see the kids for most of this weekend.

The paper state before the 1st conference that we need to agree on terms for me to see the kids before the actual conference. She still has yet to do this. She wrote up some kinda of paper without me being there.

Here is how the trip went

7pm Friday to 9am sat
8pm we get to my house 10 they go to bed.
2 hrs in car for trip
12pm to Sunday 9am
This was supposed to be 5pm but my older kids therapist made a clear point to allow me to get the kids earlier because of the drive time.
so another 2 hrs in the car.