Guidance please

[cautiousfather]

So dd will be starting kindergarten this next year.  Ex brings it up at the last exchange and I hate having these conversations with dd present or even within earshot or view because she's too aware of any conflict.  She is constantly watching her mom to gauge her mood.  She wants me to make schedule suggestions on the spot which I'm at a loss to do without more information so I ask her to send me an email.   
Anyway, ex mentions that it's her intention to enroll dd in year round schooling as that is the closest school to her home.  I'm in the process of researching and found it's actually .6 of a mile from their home and there is another elementary that is not year round and actually has higher ratings that is .7 of a mile.  As a reminder we live approx 2 1/2 hrs away from each other.  The year round school would start in July the other in August.  I was really kind of hoping we could delay addressing this until the first of May when I'm out of school.  Court crap is so stressful and my grades always suffer when we're in litigation.
I've requested information from the year round school but would like some input from the fine members here of the ups and downs of both and any problems or preferences.  I haven't lived anywhere where there was year round schooling so how does the scheduling usually work?  I'd also appreciate any suggestions about parenting schedules and such.  This is going to be a new world and I don't want to mess this up as I'll probably have to live with it for an extended time since it's hard to get anything changed once it's in an order.  Ex just isn't going to cut me any slack at all (still).
So any information and/or suggestions would be appreciated and anything you can share that you've experienced when the kids started school that I need a heads up on.
Thanks

[Giggles]

There is a way you could work the year round school to your benefit.  I believe in a year round situation they attend for 45 days off for 15 or something to that effect.  Request that you get the bulk of the breaks as well as the weekend visits!

[Gestalt]

There is a way you could work the year round school to your benefit.  I believe in a year round situation they attend for 45 days off for 15 or something to that effect.  Request that you get the bulk of the breaks as well as the weekend visits!

I was thinking the same thing.....

[tigger]

If she's in Wake County, NC there very well may not be an option as they are trying hard to trend to year round elementary and middle schools.  (Can't do high schools as it's cost prohibitive.)

When your daughter starts depends on which track she's on.  Here, tracks 1 - 3 start in July.  Track 4 (the most like traditional but still not the same as traditional) starts in August.  One track is out at a time.  Track 4 (ex's daughter is on this one) is out of school for the months of January, April, July and October, plus Christmas. 

Also, kindergarten registration starts at the beginning of February here (currently happening in a couple of private schools that I've seen) so y'all probably can't wait until you're out of school.  Giggles is right, as for as much time as you can.  At least 1/2 of the weeks out of school.  Look at the track calendars for the year round and see if you think it's doable.  Compare it to the traditional calendar. 

Traditional calendars got set because of the need for the kids to help out on the farm . . . not usually an issue these days.  Year round is better academically for most kids.  My youngest would have greatly benefited from it but it wasn't an option when he started.

[gemini3]

There is data to suggest that kids benefit from a year-round program because there is less time for them to "forget" what they have learned. 

For your interests, regular school may be better because it allow an extended period of uninterrupted time for you to parent your child.  This is really key time.   My husband gets some weekends, some holidays, and a month in the summer.  The summer is really the best time for us because the kids can really get into the "groove" of being at our house.  Weekends are tough because the first day they're getting used to different rules, etc - then we have a calm day - then it's time for them to go back home.

Also, if you think you might ever need to move further away, year round school will make it even more challenging for you to exercise your parenting time.  Instead of coming to see you for the summer, your child might have to make several trips of shorter duration, which can become costly, and tiresome for the child.

You're smart to think about long term - because things are really hard to change once they're signed off on.

[cautiousfather]

Thanks for all the replies and guidance.  First of all she moved, not me which isn't necessarily here nor there but with that move she really sought to reduce my parenting time.  Instead I gained a fraction. I can see advantages to both schedules.  I currently have the first three weekends a month from Thursday 4pm until Sunday 5 pm and a Wednesday overnight on the 4th but nothing on 5 weekend months.  I'm supposed to be able to have 2 hr visits with 48 hrs notice provided it doesn't interfere w/set family plans.  Amazing how it always does unless it's on a five weekend month and even then it's never guaranteed.  She has been admonished twice in court for not co-parenting but so far no sanctions.  I get a full week during Christmas and an extra overnight on what would be fall break week and spring break week.  Nothing extra in the summer was ordered. This was done when dd was 2 and part of the reason I didn't get more at the time was because of a psychologist basically testifying to her being too young to being away from mom more than that. Which no longer should apply.

I finally was able to download a copy of the schedule for the school.  They start in Mid-July.  They have many of the traditional days off  Labor Day, President's Day, MLK, and 3 days during Thanksgiving.  They often have a Friday off for "common planning or p/t conferences on a Friday preceeding a Monday holiday. They have a handful where they get Friday or Monday or just go a 1/2  day which means there are some periods there to extend weekend visits. They have 3 weeks off in the fall, 12 actual school days off during Christmas, and 3 weeks off in the Spring.  And they start their 6 week Summer break on June 2nd.

So ever since we got our original order & the updated one when she moved she has stated many times that I need to enjoy it now because when school time comes around I can count on being eow with no other considerations.  We'll see (God, I hope that never happens) but I don't jump to her bait.

So with a standard school week, I'd be losing 4 overnights a month which in my situation of constant alienation (which much of which can be documented) is significant.

Now after doing research on the school though I've got new concerns.  Of the 26 elementary schools in that district the one where bm mentioned dd would be going is rated the lowest.  They didn't meet any of the thresholds for reading or math (of course testing doesn't start until 3rd grade but it's all I have to go on) and they weren't really even close.  In checking further where they break down the test score between male & female and they break it down by ethnic groups, none of the sub-groups met any thresholds either.  So I checked the boundaries and this is the school for their area. Yet when she brought it up she indicated this was her school choice?  I'm sure she hasn't checked anything though it's just the closest to their home.  So I'm going to be checking to see what the options are within the district.  I'll do so as a person planning to move into the area with general questions.  I have family that works within the district here so I know how it works here but I know these things could maybe vary district to district.

With this information based on what she emails me,  I'm really thinking of petitioning for dd to go to school here but I'll have to speak to an attorney to see whether I have a leg to stand on. If not then I plan to request every weekend and if it involves a Friday or Monday off I'm going to request the weekend be extended. Then I'm going to request during the breaks that we go a week on/week off.  So the fall break one of us gets 2 weeks the other one and the spring break would be the opposite and we'd split summer exactly.   I don't expect to get every weekend and don't even necessarily thinks it's fair but I'd be willing to negotiate a 5-1 or possibly even a 4-1 if it came to an agreement in mediation which it won't because she won't mediate anything.  I've always been told to ask for the moon and hope you get more than standard and so far I have. 

So any input or guidance is appreciated.  Feedback will tell me if I'm off base here.

[gemini3]

I plan to request every weekend and if it involves a Friday or Monday off I'm going to request the weekend be extended. Then I'm going to request during the breaks that we go a week on/week off.  So the fall break one of us gets 2 weeks the other one and the spring break would be the opposite and we'd split summer exactly.   I don't expect to get every weekend and don't even necessarily thinks it's fair but I'd be willing to negotiate a 5-1 or possibly even a 4-1 if it came to an agreement in mediation which it won't because she won't mediate anything.  I've always been told to ask for the moon and hope you get more than standard and so far I have. 

I would not ask for anything less than the same amount of parenting time you're already getting, and let her argue as to why she thinks you deserve less.  Don't automatically accept less.  Maybe the dates need to be adjusted, but you should get the same amount of time.  I'm assuming that you both work - so you've always had work schedules to contend with - school schedules are no different.

If you're dealing with an alienator it's even more important that you see your child more than EOW.  This is not enough for your child to see for herself the difference between you as she experiences you, and you as her mom tries to paint you.  You'll have 2 days to counteract 2 weeks of alienation.  I don't see why you can't have 3 weekends a month, and then recoup the rest of the time during holdiays.  Always ask that if Monday is a school holiday on your weekend, then Monday is included in your parenting time.