How do I?

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

I had custody of my kids for about 5 years. At that point, Dad got primary physical custody, with joint legal. That was about 5 years ago.
3 years ago, I moved about 600 miles away. While long distance, I have NEVER been an absent mom.
Fast forward... Daughter is almost 18 and about to graduate. Intends to go to college in my city.
Son is now 14, and has steadfastly expressed his desire to return to live with me for over a year to school and myself and dad.
He has recently gotten into a good deal of trouble at school, resulting in expulsion. He did this with purpose, stating that dad would kick him out when he got sick of him. I just spent the last 3 days gettting him into another school at his location.  He is ADHD and I got him into a" partial" (therapy and school) school. Yes, I travelled 600 miles to do this. Dad wanted me to bring our son with me.
I didn't. I couldn't. Why?
If I just packed up my son, I'm assuming dad could claim kidnapping...even though he asked me to take him.
That's my question....how could I legally bring my son with me? Is a hand written letter enough to prevent kidnapping charges if dad decided to change his mind? I know Dad has had enough... I just need to cover my butt.

[lucky]

Type/write something up giving specifics (include beginning and end dates - 18th birthday anyone? - along with what dad can use to "void" the agreement)  and get dad & you to sign it in front of a notary.  Yep, it's not filed with the court, but the cops will go - "kidnapping - but you signed this and it's notarized? huh?"

Then take your son home, type up a motion for the court.  As soon as dad makes noises about taking son back, modify it to fit the new circumstances, file it with the court and attach the notarized document. 

Anyway, this is what I would do.

[ocean]

Get that notarized letter from father and then go to the courts and get emeregency temporary custody (same day). You could of taken child with you then....child is old enough to tell police that he is not kidnapped and father sent him to you. If father does not want him then why would he file kidnapping?

[lucky]

Actually, do the same day like ocean said.  I like that idea better.

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

I have dealt with Dad for the last five years. He changes his mind more than any of us change our underwear. As I stated in my original post, I need to cover my butt.
I honestly don't think that he's thinking ahead...to the point he'll no longer have any child support from me if my son comes with me.
I do thank you folks for your answers!

[MixedBag]

update???

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

I have spoken with Dad once. He is stating that it is still a possibility that he well let son come with me. I leave Sunday the 28th to go there for the week.  I'll let you know what happens when I get back!

[rgordon]

You know what I had a friend go through exactly what you have. but just in a different state. The dad did write a letter and she took it with her, when she moved. but he called and said kidnapping. they hunted her down and got her for it. when she went to court the judge said why did yall not come to court and have this documented in file that the dad said you can take the child with you to live. But like i said this happen in Arkansas. and every court is different. What i would do is when i go down there go ahead and make a court date. see the judge and take the dad with you and both tell him what you are wanting to do. and let him put all of this on file. so there will be no complications with anything... best of luck .

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

Late update:
We had a super New Years.
My son seems to like his new school.  He was still pretty insistant that he leave with me. We had some pretty serious heart to hearts while I was there.  He relunctantly agreed he should finish out the year at his school.  He seemed to understand that he needed to try to go that extra mile to finish it out and come here on a good note.
I had very little time to speak with DAD. Even tho I stay in Dad's home when I head north, he wasn't there. See, he has a new girlfriend...but I'm all kewl with that. I know her.  Our brief discussions were that my son could come with me when school lets out and stay for the summer, see how it goes...and take it from there.

Since my return...Dad got notice that son had to attend court for one of the fighting incidents that occurred prior to my visit in December. I called the court and spoke with his caseworker.  He advised me that my son would receive (as a first time juvenile offender) a $225 fine, 50 hours of community service and up to 6 months probation. Dad sweet talked him out of the fine, but they added 30 hours of community service. That's probably not such a bad thing. Then if all goes well, his record will be expunged. We also discussed that my son comes with me for the summer, but was advised they would work with me if he was in fact still on probation.

Dad called me at work today.  He received a letter in the mail that the week prior to his court hearing, son made some "obscene gestures" and will be suspended from school on the 30th.
I don't know how this will affect his probation. (And I find it totally absurd that they suspend a kid 2 weeks after the fact of an incident!)

So, that's my update....comments....questions? All welcome.

(I will very shortly have a post in the Child support column)