My ex has moved in with a convicted child molester

[Father in Need]

My ex and I finalized our divorce decree July 15th of last year.  Since then she has failed 2 CPS issued drug tests (for marijuana) and signed an affadavit of use with the CPS case worker the one time she did pass the test.  Since our divorce she has moved in with a convicted sex offender (he was convicted of F2 Sexual assault of a child).  My daughter is 3 years old and I feel that the enviroment is unhealthy at best, and extremely dangerous at worst.  I have spoken with the police, CPS, and the sherriff.  She has not updated her address with the court and I can't send a subpoena to her 'new' home because I am unaware of where it even is.  No one is willing to do anything other than say you need to file something with the court.  She works in a daycare and uses drugs on her break with the aforementioned SO.  I have phone recordings, e mails, text messages and other documentation to support my concerns.  I am unable to pay $2500 retainers for a decent attorney (after being taken for over 24k in my original divorce).  Does anyone know of any help or assistance centers (pro bono family attorneys?) that could possibly help?

[Marsha]

What has been the court ordered visitation schedule, and custody orders?  Also, what state do you live in? 

Do you pay child support?  If so, can you find out through them where the checks are going?

[gemini3]

I don't know of anyone that is pro-bono.  I would call the Clerk of Court and explain the situation with her moving and ask what they do in those circumstances.  Most states require a 30 day notice of move be sent to the NCP.

Where do you pick up your child for visitation?

As far as the registered sex offender - usually part of their sentence and release is that they are not allowed to live or work with children.  Call your local police department and ask if this is true in your circumstance.  If so, you can have him arrested for parole violation and not have to go through the courts.

[Father in Need]

My child support checks are sent directly to the OAG for disbursement.  As far as visitation goes I pick up and drop off my daughter at daycare.  I have expanded visitation which means I pick her up on Thursday evening and then drop her back at school Monday morning, and then I have her on Wednesdays overnight as well.  I never have to visit my ex's home.  She has accused me at least 7 times of assault, abuse, sexually abusing my child.  i've been arrested 4 times with each charge being refused by a grand jury and the DA.  Of course having these charges refused doesn't alleviate the cost of bonds and attorneys to get each individual charge taken care of.  Every time i try to see my daughter at school (which is where she works) I am told that if it is not my scheduled visitation time (i.e. Picking up on Thursday or dropping off on Monday) I am not welcome at the daycare.  I have not been allowed to participate in any of the Fathers activities because she throws a fit to her owners about my being there.  I have never missed a child support payment, never missed a visitation and I have a stable home and income (neither of which she has)  She works 20-25 hours a week at $7.50 per hour and even with my $600 a month child support payment she claims is unable to provide necessities.  Frankly, this is because she buys drugs to support her and her S.O. bf's habit.  I happen to know the person she gets her pot from and she spends in the neighborhood of $100 per week on marijuana.  This is where my child support goes to.  I'm desperate

[Father in Need]

In addition, I live in Texas

As far as the status of the S.O. being around my child since she has not updated her address with the court I can't prove that she in fact lives there.  I've called the sherriff multiple times to go to her listed address but of course.... there has never been an answer.

[Kitty C.]

First, regarding the SO, it's not that you're trying to find where your ex lives, you need to prove that she's living with the SO.  And since the SO is required by law to register wherever he lives, it's just a matter of you calling the cops and telling them you have reason to believe that your ex and 3 y.o. child are living with him.  If he also has an order to stay away from children, and the cops find that she IS living with him, then he's in violation and you can find out exactly where she's living.

Second, in regards to the daycare.......unless there is something written in your order that you are not allowed to be around your child other than your court ordered parenting times, then you have every right to drop in any time you want to and there's not a darn thing she can do about it.  But you will need to talk to the owners of the daycare personally. 

Guaranteed, she's probably told them horrible things about you, but that's easy to counter.  First, show them documentation of EVERY rescinded charge she's tried to bring against you.  Second, inform them that if you were actually guilty of everything your ex says you are, then you would have only supervised visitation at best and have your parental rights removed at worst.  And third, remind them that if they recommend to all their parents to drop in at any time, why are they discriminating against you?  If they say it's because of the 'tension' between you and your ex, just tell them that you have no desire to communicate with her while you are there, except for when necessary when you are doing pick-ups or drop-offs, but you cannot stop her from engaging with you.  If they have a problem with that, then maybe they need to have her assigned elsewhere while you are there.

If you still continue to have problems with the daycare, look into whatever state agency oversees daycares and report them.  All of this is dependent on just how far you want to take this.  But the bottom line is don't allow your ex to dictate to you or anyone else what you can or cannot do, especially when you have rights.  Trust me, if you stand your ground, it will piss her off that much more, but in the long run will benefit your child more.  But if you don't, you might eventually find your time with your child dwindling away, depending on how far the ex is willing to go to cut you out of your child's life.

[trystero]

At first opportunity I would either follow her from work, or have a friend follow her in a car she'd not recognize.  Then you'll atleast know where she lives.....It isn't illegal so long as your at a distance and threatening in some way (i.e. don't do it as if you're a stalker....)......