I need some advise on what to do???

[T0052SC]

Here is a little history.  My ex and I divorce was final this last February.  The court order stated that she was to pay half of the kids school, school expenses, medical, kids counseling, co-parenting counseling, and obtain a $150,000 life insurance policy.  

The problem that I am having is that the ex has not made good on any of the above.  I have reminded her about the life insurance, and she tells me she will get it some day.  Now the kids counselor has come to me telling me that I have to pay for all visits because the ex has not paid for any of them and is past due over $250.  She told me that if she doesn't pay her soon that she will be submitting it to collections and that I am liable.  The counselor said to avoid this I either pay it all and bill my ex, or take her back to court.  The co-parenting counseling has ended also because the counselor has outstanding bills from the ex because she has never paid her either.  

The school has contacted me about four times now.  The first time they had told me that my son would not be able to partake in the kindergarten graduation because his mother has never paid the schools tuition and was over due $1,700 plus.  Then the school contacted me again telling me that the kids would no longer be able to attend if their mother didn't start paying and sign a contract to pay her past due.  The school contacted me a third time to tell me that if the past due was not corrected by the start of the new school year that the kids would have to go some where else, because they were having to chase the ex for the money and when they got it she would only give them $50.  The last time the school contacted me was last Friday to tell me that the ex has racked up another $400 plus and if she didn't pay the $400 plus by Monday that the kids would have to find some where else.  

Finally all the medical and school expenses.  The CO says that she is to pay half of all this.  I have had to pay all the medical bills, school events, and the ex has even neglected to take the kids to the doctor until they come home so I have to pay all co pays.  I have tried to collect from her on all this but she will not give me any of it.  I keep all receipts and make an itemized statement for her.  but now the bill is adding up over $300 in just these short months.

I don't know what to do?
I don't have the money to pay every one off for her, and I don't want to set up in her mind that she doesn't have to pay her portion because sooner or later I will pay.

How can I get her to comply with the CO?
Do I need to take her to court?
If I do need to take her to court what are my options on what to ask for?
Can I change custody because I am the one primarily taking care of the kids and assuring their stability, and safety? (I ask this last one because I know a lot of courts have changed custody when one parent will not comply with child support, or finances that deal strictly with the kids)
Any other recommendations or comments welcome.

[CustodyIQ]

Hi,

If I were in your position, I would send a letter akin to the following:

"Dear ex,

As clearly outlined in court orders made February XX, 2005, we are to equally share the costs of the kids' education, counseling, medical, and dental needs.

To date, you have apparently refused to comply with these orders in a reasonable manner.

At the current time, the school has advised me that if you do not pay your share of tuition by the end of this week, the children won't be allowed to attend.  Please make sure this doesn't happen, else I'll be forced to seek relief from the court.

Further, if you do not bring current all of your financial obligations with Counselor Name, Doctor Name, and Counselor #2 Name by August 26, I'll be forced to seek relief from the court.

Sincerely,

Dad-About-to-Get-Custody"

-----------------------------------


I think your next step would be to file a motion ordering mother to pay all of the balance due, plus sanctions and reimbursement of your attorney fees and costs.

If there are still problems after that, then seek a change of custody in that the mother refuses to act in the children's best interest.

With the school thing, go in Monday morning and talk with the principal to see if mom has paid.  If not, then pay it yourself so YOU are shown as the hero who can ensure these children have stability.  Ask the principal to write a receipt.

[joni]

Also, isn't there a process for you to take her back for these expenses thru the Friend of the Court?  That way you don't have to go thru the civil court system.

[dontunderstand]

Isn't it a court order?  If yes...CONTEMPT!

[T0052SC]

What do you meen?
In the CO it just says that she has to pay me half of these expenses and I am to provide receipts.  I take it upon myself to build an itemized list so it is easy to read  and see.  I give her the list every other month because usually there is about $200 spent every two months on field trips, or lately doctors with swimmers ear, this would meen she owes me $100 every other month.

In the CO it doesn't lay out a specific process.  Is there some thing the GAL or some one else supose to do??