Custody modification and preventing removal from state

[metamorphosis]

I am looking for any help available.  My stepsons mother informed my husband and I today that she has filed the petition to remove the children from the state. (to go VERY far away)  We have been gearing up to try and have the custody order modified to grant my husband custody based on many things:
She has not had a job for more than a month EVER. (even though she received her bachelors over a year ago.)  And those jobs are very few and far between.
She lived in a studio apartment with 2 school age boys.
The boys will come to our house in dirty, ripped and/or wrong sized clothes (the 8 yr old once came over in size 2T underwear and thats if they are even wearing them.) every time even though we buy them new clothes, socks and underwear almost every time they are with us and send it home with them.
This is just the beginning of the nightmare.

Unfortunately, the only lawyer who seems to even think that we could be awarded custody wants $1500 just to start and we don't have it.

Are there any solutions?  I was hoping that we might be able to get some sort of emergency order giving up temporary custody based on the possibility of her removing them from the state. (she withheld the boys from him for 4 months when they first broke up and wouldn't even talk to him until he was able to get her into court to enforce the visitation order he already had.)  From what we have been told, in our state it is not the custodial parents obligation to prove that moving out of state would be beneficial.  It has now been changed so that the non-custodial parents has the burden of proving that it is NOT beneficial.  I am somewhat confident that we can do that  based on her employment, living, transportation and emotional issues.  My husband, however, is pretty much freaking out because he is faced with the possibilty of losing his kids.  Please help us.

[4honor]

it is nearly impossible to get tehm back after the fact.

[metamorphosis]

Actually, I think that it will be easier to get custody of them after she takes them to one of the most expensive places to live, can't or won't keep a job, and ends up homeless and in a very bad situation.  She has absolutely no support network out there.  Her family, us, and my husbands family are the only things keeping them afloat now.    However, as easy as it would make our case for us, I don't want my stepsons to have to go through that.

[flewwellin]

Okay Dh and I were in a very similar sittuation last year.  We fought it without a lawyer (there was no way we could afford one) The lawyer we spoke to that told us he could stop her wanted $3,000 as a retainer fee!  Highway robbery!  Anyway, She was allowed to move away 500+ miles away, she had no support network there either, she moved basically because she was GOING to get remarried and her future husband couldn't find a good enough job down where we are!  (he lost his job about 6 months after that) I can say fight hard, and liquidate all your assets but I truly think that you are wasting your money, I don't think that the courts will make  her stay. GOOD LUCK though cause you're gonna need it.

[justwantstobeadad]

I dont think you can get an emergancy custody order but I think you can file a petition for emergancy relief. If i remember right that will keep her from being able to move away without the courts permission.

Make sure you documment ALL the time and things you do wih the children. Make sure you be prepared to tell the courts how it would interfere with your relationship and how it would impact the children. You might even ask the courts for an phsycological evaluation that way a lot of things will come out.
good luck

[metamorphosis]

Well, according to the court order she can't move without the courts permission anyway.  But the have changed it so that instead of her having to prove why it is best for the children, now we have to prove why its not best.  Mostly our concern is that when we try to stop her from leaving and in turn go for custody, she is going to say horrible (and untrue) things about their BF to them.  They have already told us that she said they were moving to get away from him.  They are only 6 and 8.  She is doing irreparable damage and it will only get worse.
I am so glad to have found this place.  I call it AA for people in our situation.  It is so nice to come here and be able to read about other people going through the same thing.  It truly is making it a little easier to deal with, and every little bit helps.

[kitten]

Sorry to hear that another father is faced with this.  I'm sorry to say this, but you NEED a lawyer.  My SO's ex recently got permission to move their children 3000 miles away, he has not seen them since January.  I guarantee that it will not be easier to get them back.  Once she moves away and they are residents for 6 months, it is nearly impossible to get them back or to even charge contempt for her preventing visitation.  Here in CA it is the NCP's responsibility to prove the move to be detrimental, but that is not easy to do.  She WILL say horrible things about their father, you can count on it, but if you don't fight this, they will be gone.  I recommend posting this on Dear Socrateaser if you have not already.  Good luck to you and if you have any questions feel free to pm me.