What do you think the odds are?

[wasthestep]

Sorry - this is a little long.  But I need some opinions.  I have know one else to share this situation with.

History:

After a 3-year Custody Battle, Mom gave in and Parenting Plan was signed (Plan was Recommended by Guardiuan of Litem).  Dad has now had Primary Custody for the last 4 years.
 
PER PP:
During the school year Mom has Every Other Weekend Thursay after school until Sunday at 7p & Every Other Monday from 3-7p.   Holidays & Summer are split 50/50.

ACTUAL PLAN BEING USED FOR THE LAST YEAR:
During the school year Mom has Every Other Weekend Friday after school to Monday taking to School & Every Other Thursday from 3-7p sometimes overnight.   Holidays & Summer are split 50/50.

Prior to current plan, Dad was taken to court 2x becuase Mom wanted to change child's school.  Both times Dad won.  (Mom was still living in same school district, just kept moving to different elementary school(s).)

1 year ago Dad divorced 2ND wife (me).

There are 3 other children between Dad's 1st and 2nd Marriage.

Dad - 1st son (one in question) that he is primary
         2nd son he has 50/50 plan

Mom - has 2 children from other relationships that are with her full time.  
          1st son older had when she was teenager.
          2nd son (one in questions)
          3rd son younger- lives with Mom & Dad (Mom's fiance for the past 6 years)

None of the children have ever gone to the same school.  Mom - Oldest child is 3 years ahead and will never go even if in the same district.  Younger child is special needs.    Dad - 2nd child is in a public Montessori and Mom wouldn't/won't agree for 1st child to change.


NOW

Mom wants to move approx 1 HOUR away.  Wants child to now live with her for schooling at her local school.

This has been going back and for between Mom & Dad for 4 weeks now with out any formal Mediation or Lawyers involved.

Four weeks ago she announced to Dad via mail they were moving and proposed child would move and dad would have 3 weekends a month during school year and 3 out of 4 weeks during summer.

Two weeks ago they met, talked with child TOGETHER (child voice opinion that he wanted to stay in same school) and via email she agreed child would stay in current school.

Dad has offered a Parenting Plan:
During the school year Mom has Every Other Weekend FRIDAY after school until Sunday at 7p & No School days not already listed as Holidays.  Holidays & Summer are split 50/50.  Dad would give Mom 2 weeks Sun- Thur extra in summer.

Last week, she left a voicemail that she thought Dad's proposed plan looked good, there were just a couple of things that needed to be discussed.   [Note:  she will not specify the issues to discuss]

This week she now wants to them both to put together a parenting plan BOTH school districts.  She will not give Dad a copy of her proposal(s).  She is demanding they meet in person to review and agree to as much as they can and sign everything.

Mom has stated if Dad is not willing to put together a plan for both schools then they will just have to go with the current schedule.



QUESTION

If Dad will not meet with her alone, will not agree to her terms in mediation (which will probably be her next step and is requried):

1.  Is this enough grounds for her to get a Custody Hearing with the court?

2.  What Plan is the "current" plan?  The one on paper or the one they've followed for the last year?

Other thoughts, suggestions???

My stomach is in knots!   I feel so bad for my stepson.  He even told them a month ago when she arrangemd the meeting that "I don't want you two to go to court becuase of this."

[joni]

he could agree to meet with her to see what she's proposing, he doesn't have to sign anything.  he will then appear to continue to be cooperative and not the one who stagnates the talk.

judges loves mediation anyway and try to keep the parties talking without going to trial so chances are the court would send the parties to talk with a mediator anyway.

mom wants the child to go to two different schools concurrently?  she's nuts.  no judge would agree to that.  I would keep the pressure for dad's plan.  maybe make a concession she can keep the child until Monday AM and she's responsible to drive him to school from her home.  that'll give her an extra night.

technically, the most current plan, accepted by court, would be the plan under the last court order.  dad's already won twice on schools...a plus?

[CustodyIQ]

You divorced Dad a year ago, but you're still involved in his affairs?

I think I'm missing something.

[wasthestep]

Yes - we divorced a year ago, but when it comes to the boys (we also have one together) we are very supportive of each other.  His 1st ex is a piece of work and since I already know the history he's been leaning on me for support.

He's been trying to resolve everything without having to go to court again.  It would be a hard hit on him and the boys financially now that we are not together.  It would also be hard on his son emotionally becuase his Mother likes to share her version of all the details and reasons whey they are going.

His ex is pressuring him into meeting, but she is very two faced and he does not trust meeting with her.  

When she first sent him the letter via certified mail, I suggested he talk to his old attorney (which he did).   His attorney told him to tell her moving wasn't an option.  Which he did, that is why they were working on an ammended plan to change her weekday time to something else.  She said via voicemail (I didn't actually hear it) that it looked good except for a couple of things but would specificy.   Then 2 1/2 days later she said she was "advised" that they both needed to put together a plan for 1. staying in same school district and 2. moving him to her school district.  They then needed to meet, write up each section of the pp plan on a seperate page and sign anything the agreed to.

As far as my help is concerned, I am just a support person.  Help with research, etc.

[wasthestep]

>
>he could agree to meet with her to see what she's proposing,
>he doesn't have to sign anything.  he will then appear to
>continue to be cooperative and not the one who stagnates the
>talk.

She won't agree to meet unless he signes everything they discussed.


>judges loves mediation anyway and try to keep the parties
>talking without going to trial so chances are the court would
>send the parties to talk with a mediator anyway.
>
>mom wants the child to go to two different schools
>concurrently?  she's nuts.  no judge would agree to that.  I
>would keep the pressure for dad's plan.  maybe make a
>concession she can keep the child until Monday AM and she's
>responsible to drive him to school from her home.  that'll
>give her an extra night.

The problem is she has two other children to get to school also.


>technically, the most current plan, accepted by court, would
>be the plan under the last court order.  dad's already won
>twice on schools...a plus?

Yes child is going into 5th grade.  He won in court for child to stay at same school for Pre-K and then again for Kindgergarten.  Last year she took him to mediation because she wanted him to change schools again, but didn't take it any further.

[ocean]

If he has custody, do not have him do anything and let her take it to court. She should be the one to file and ask for a change of parenting plan since she is moving. When does school start by you? SHE can move but not with this child....especially when the child wants to stay there. I would wait it out and have school start. Just my opinion....

[CustodyIQ]

I agree.  Odds are in his favor, given the prior rulings on the matter.  He should let her make the first move or else just give up.