Joint Custody 209/156 want to modify child support or Custody. Can I?

[mom101]

Hello everyone.  Here is my story.  My ex and I have Joint Child Custody plan, where he is primary physical custodian.  Not sure how that happen, but I think my work hours were till <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:time Hour="19" Minute="0">7pm</st1:time> and his till 5, going up and down at the time of final date.  I made some changes and went to work for car sales, made some money, bought house in 3.23.08, left car sales to my old job I worked for 6.5 years, which surprisingly offered to work from home.  I am working from home sense 7.29.08; My ex drops kids by my house at <st1:time Hour="7" Minute="10">7:10 am</st1:time> each day and picks them up at <st1:time Hour="17" Minute="30">5:30 pm</st1:time> on HIS days.  I take kids to school and pick them up from school each day.  I take them to doctor appointments, and also watch them when he and his new wife have plans and need baby sitter.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
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I was ordered to pay child support of $17.44 per month.(both of our income in 2007 were (his $39K/mine $38K)  He was ordered to have kids 209 days and I was ordered to have kids 156 days.  He allows me to have extra day, every other week, which make me have kids 182days and he has them 183 days.<o:p></o:p>
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I asked him to modify child support and custody to where I am primary due to kids school is in my district and I have to drive them 3 miles daily, he said no.  By calculations based on 209/156 he should pay me $163 per month (please keep in mind I am the day care provider and work from home).  $163 would really help me to spend on groceries and kids closing.  My ex keeps saying he will give me extra $$, but I don't see any of that.<o:p></o:p>
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I told him I sent paper for child support modification, he replied back that he should not pay anything due to he is PRIMARY (We do have joint custody).  He said he will pull kids away from me and put them in the day care.  My daughter is 7 and she is more daddies' girl.  My Son is almost 5 and he is mama's baby.  However, both kids love their parents.  He can afford to spend more $ than I.<o:p></o:p>
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Our parenting plan order is 50/50 on everything.  My ex makes $52K about per year now ($25/hr as mechanic) and I make ($28K as a supervisor now).  I was ordered to pay insurance, which now I have sooner care for kids and it 100% paid.  I also have my company insurance in case.<o:p></o:p>
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I filed papers with District Attorney for child support modification as a PROSE, and should be serving him in the 2-3 weeks.<o:p></o:p>
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MY QUESTIONS:<o:p></o:p>
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1. Should I modify Child support knowing he will have to pay me and will not give me extra day (total of 26)<o:p></o:p>
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2. Can he put our kids in the day care even if I work from home and can provide care?  I don't think I should pay 50% of DC expenses if I can watch my kids at home.  (My ex when he comes in my house he snoops around to see if I have dishes in sink, if my floor are clean, just looking around to find something.  My house is very clean) I am not strong enough to tell him to wait outside.<o:p></o:p>
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3. Should I now file Child support modification or should I get an attorney to modify Child custody plan, knowing my ex will try to go for full custody and lie about all kinds of things.  Not sure why, but mainly because he got married 1 week ago and his household has 2 incomes now vs. mine one, and he likes to be in Power.  We both claim 1 child each on our Income Tax return.  <o:p></o:p>
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I thought if I modify child support and he will know how much he will pay me, I will than use an Attorney to modify Child Custody when mainly papers will be changed to 183/182 me being primary for the school district, sense I am the one who drives them.  <o:p></o:p>
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My ex is POWER control person, and that was the reason I left him.<o:p></o:p>
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sorry for my grammar, I am Russian.<o:p></o:p>

[Gestalt]

you might want to see what it would come out to through your state's on line cs calculator.....before doing anything to rock the boat- I couldn't read your whole post- it was too hard on the eyes.

check your pms

[shaden3]

There are two types of custody: legal and physical. The parent who is is granted physical (also known as residential) custody is the one who may receive child support. The parent who has been granted visitation is known as the non-custodial parent, and may be required to pay the child support. Legal custody means decision making, and joint is the most common form. If there is disinterest, abuse or danger (or abduction threats), then sole may be granted.

A child support modification usually requires a substantial change in circumstances. Connecting child support payments to one's right to have parenting time is not seen in a good light. One is money to ensure a good quality of a child's life due to the split, the other is the time you spend with your child and should never be connected to money owed to or by a parent.

I wonder if you've considered improving communication between you and the dad? The courts are there to address legal issues outside the realm of what can be handled between the parents. The best scenario for the children, obviously, is to see two parents working together to keep conflict down, thereby providing the parental role models that are imperative to growing up capable of looking for a mate who is respectful and communicative.

With hope, you will find a way to move away from the numbers and toward a more positive way of working through what ails you.

Good luck.