filing parenting agreement while deployed, state jurisdiction?

[dkfitz]

I apologize in advance, this is long and convoluted by I think the facts are pertinent to my question...

My son (20) met a girl on the internet in another state (19) (1,000 miles).  Went to be with her, she got pregnant right away (it was planned).  Relationship got rocky right away, she downed pills during a fight while pregnant, he called 911.  They made up and married two months into the pregnancy.  They split again soon after, son moved back to our state.  Son join military and one month later while he was in basic training baby was born.  Mother didn't put son's name down on birth certificate out of spite.  Mother is very volatile emotionally but became friendly with myself and my extended family.  Me, my daughter and my parents drove to see baby when baby was 8 weeks old, stayed for four days.  Kept in contact with mother, flew mother and baby to our home to stay for a week when baby was almost 3 mos old, we paid all expenses.  Mother continued relationship with us but wouldnt talk with son who was still in army training.  Father was due home for leave when baby was 4 mos old, mother planned vacation in our town during that time (not on purpose) but agreed to stay on longer at our expense and let dad see baby.  Reunion did not go well at all, mother refused to leave baby in dads and my care even though I had cared for her alone before.  At one point mother said to take baby, keep her, she was done.  After my son took her she immediately asked for her back, again, mother is very up and down and reactive.  Son filed voluntary paternity acknowledgement with babys home state.  Mother then insisted on leaving early and not staying and so we agreed and paid for her early flight.  Son left to his station in another state but filed for divorce in our state before he left.  Upon arriving at new duty station he found out he was deploying that fall.  He got another leave before deploying but chose not to go and try to see the baby because mother was being so nasty.  I encouraged him but to no avail.  During this time he received some paperwork from babys home state regarding HIS attempt to establish paternity, he signed everything and sent in.  Still no name on birth certificate, no parenting agreement, etc.  Son deployed and my relationship with baby's mother got back on track so we again paid for mother and baby to come stay with us for two weeks when baby was 10 mos old.  Mother goes home and decides to move to our state, i make all arrangements - give her place to live, she backs out at the last minute because ex boyfriend wants her to stay.  Mother and boyfriend move in together in another state.  Son gets letter from original state, now they won't do anything because he's deployed and it has to wait until he's home.  Son gets R & R leave and we go visit the baby for two days, mother agrees to visit (after some nasty emails but this has become very typical) but will not let us have baby alone.  We visit with baby and mom for two days in hotel, etc.  Meanwhile mom is moved in with new guy and is pregnant with twins.  Dad goes back overseas and we work together via email on a parenting agreement.  Meanwhile mom is fighting with live in, cops are being called and eventually at one point, live in goes to jail for two days.  Mom begs me for help and I agree to help her get to our state, place to live, etc.  all over again.  Live in gets out of jail, they get back together again.   

Now to the present time, son sends parenting agreement to mother for review.  This is a fairly standard parenting agreement other than the long distance and military components but they would have shared legal custody and she would be custodial parent and he would have parenting time.  Mother goes ballistic and accuses all of us of trying to take baby away, cuts off all contact, etc.   

My question is, can my son get an attorney and can the attorney file the parenting agreement and appear on his behalf while my son is deployed?  I know that she can't take him to court while he's deployed but can it happen the other way around?  If the attorney can file and go to court for him then hopefully the judge will approve the parenting agreement and my son can have a good visitation with his daughter during his leave when he gets home in the fall.  If it has to wait until he's home to file, can he ask for an emergency order to let him have some parenting time until it's settled?  Also, the original paternity case was filed in original state but does he get attorney and file in new state?  they've been there for two months.  These states are within 40 miles of each other.

Thanks in advance for any help or advice in this matter.

[shaden3]

You may want to find an attorney who is familiar with the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA) and/or look it up yourself to see if the answer is there for you. Good luck!

[MixedBag]

retired military here.

Your son can take action via his attorney to get the ball rolling and then he will be expected to appear in court at a hearing.

On the flip side, if the mom takes action, the judge should stay/hold the proceedings until the son has an opportunity to defend the action the mother took.

Jurisdiction is the mother's home state with the child for everything.

[dkfitz]

retired military here.

Your son can take action via his attorney to get the ball rolling and then he will be expected to appear in court at a hearing.

On the flip side, if the mom takes action, the judge should stay/hold the proceedings until the son has an opportunity to defend the action the mother took.

Jurisdiction is the mother's home state with the child for everything.

So I guess if something is filed now the home state is the original state.  But if its not filed until after August it would be the new state?  I'm not even sure which state to call an attorney in but probably more likely I should start with an attorney in the new state.  She's just such a flake I wonder how long she'll be there....

[MixedBag]

jurisdiction normally follows the child after 6 months.

BUT -- I remember in Ohio, there was a clause that said something about on-going litigation and if something is "going on" it can not be moved to another state.

Dad can make this move forward BUT then he can not say "I am protected under the SSCRA and can't appear in court" -- it doesn't work that way.

ALSO -- many many states have include newer words that specifically address military situations.

SO -- I suggest you find the two different state's codes (original and future new location of mother/baby) and see if there's anything specific there.