how to receive full custody

[jaimejames]

My situation has been ongoing for over 6 years now.  In the beginning my daughters mother would not let me see my daughter for the first 3 months of her life.  I had to take her to court to be granted weekends and 1/2 a day during the week.  This worked for a while.  The mother and I did not get along in the least.  I eventually married and had 4 other children.  She married and had a child, by someone other than her husband.  My wife and I were having my daughter 4 days out of the week after a while.  My duaghter mother would not take her to any doctors or dental visits.  My wife took her to everything.  We felt as thought my ex was not paying her enough attention as she would leave her with other family most of the time. She was busy partying.  So we took her to court, she pulled my daughter away from us and would only allow us to see her on the weekend and 1/2 day during the week again.  My wife is a stay at home mom.  My ex put my daughter in day care.  We thought it wise to take her to court because my daughter was starting kindergarten and we felt she needed a more stable environment.  We weren't trying to take her away completely.  Well to make a long story short, we ended up not going to court and we had our attorney draw up papers giving us equal custody. 4 days on and 4 days off.  I would have perferred a more set time, but this is what she would agree to.  It has been over a year since then and she still won't sign the paper, so legally she still has custody, although we follow the 4 days on and 4 days off.  

     My problem now is my ex is getting a divorce, her husband moved out, which in itself wouldn't be so bad, but the reason she is divorcing, I think, is because she had been working in a strip club.  My wife battered me into going to see what she does there.  She told me she was a bartender.  I took my friend with me and when we got there, she was running around in a bikini giving lap dances, ect.  (This place serves alcohol, so they can't completely strip) She was drinking freely, as her customers bought her drink after drink.  My friend gave her 2 dollars and she showed him her privates and she spent well over an hour in a private room with some man.  While she is doing this, which is quite frequently our daughter spends her weekends, when her mom has her, with other family.  Usually her grandmother.  She doesn't spend very much time with her mom.  The problem with her staying at her grandmoms so much is that they live in a very small house with 9 people.  So when my daughter and her brother are there, there are 11.  She has to sleep out on the sofa bed with her uncle and brother.  She tells me she doesn't get any sleep because her cousins cry all night.
When she does stay at her mothers house, now she has other people to contend with.  Her aunt's boyfriend has appartently moved in.  Her aunt is in 12th grade.  She stays over at my daughters mom's house with her boyfriend.  I don't agree with teaching a young child it is acceptable for such young adults to be sleeping with each other.

     I am pretty much lost as to what to do because she won't sign the papers giving me equally shared custody.  If I try to take her back to court she will pull her away from me and I won't see her that often.  It is important to be part of her school experience, so I can help her with her reading and home work.  I worry if it left soley up to her mother she will suffer.  My other problem is my ex is a HUGE liar.  If I took her to court, she would lie her way through everything.  I have been keeping a journal as to all of the happenings.  My basic question here, is how to I go about getting my daughter on a more permanent and full time basis?

[CustodyIQ]

I think you have a pretty strong case, if you can build it on solid evidence.

This is one of those cases where a good private investigator would be invaluable... to document everything you're describing.

This guy may be able to recommend a good one in your area... http://guypi.com/child-custody.htm

Good luck.