Visit with CPS agent

[snowrose]

because DH had complained to BM's agent that BM wouldn't let SD9 call us while she was visiting.  Sat down with the agent and I think this is the best talk we've ever had with her.  She finally seemed to be more on our side, or at least she was open to us in a way she hadn't been for quite a while.  :thumbs_up:

We talked to her about SD not being allowed to call us.  We talked to her about SD saying she thought the BF was drinking again.  She (the agent) then talked to SD and we learned more.  Now - with some pushing - SD admitted that the BF has now had a drink in front of her.  "But only half a beer.  He drinks half and then puts the other half in the refrigerator."    And then she told CPS that "That's okay, though, because Mommy and I have talked to him about that and that's all he's allowed to have."  Yeah - and how many other folks let their beer go flat until the next day?  Not!  The naivete of kids.

And SD did a lot of 'I don't remembers' which the CPS agent was mostly able to push her past.  With the story about drinking, that tells me that BM has been coaching SD on what she is and isn't supposed to say.

The CPS agent said later that she was confused.  She said, "BM seemed so interested in having SD visit before this and now..." She just put her hands out like she didn't understand what was happening.  And I said to her, "Well, I had the feeling that either you or the other CPS agent had talked to BM and told her that she wouldn't get custody of SD."  The CPS agent then admitted she told BM there was no way she'd get custody back.  Then DH chimes in, "And that's when things changed.  When she couldn't get custody she didn't need to impress you anymore." 

Of course the thing we carefully didn't add, so as not to jeopardize our statements, was the rest of the truth.  Once BM realized she wouldn't be getting the child support back, then she didn't have to try anymore.  She didn't have to take or make phone calls with SD, she didn't have to appear to want to spend more time with SD, and her BF didn't need to appear to have stopped drinking.

I'm betting that the agent won't have made all those connections, but DH and I have.
So, the agent is now going to call BM and tell her that BM must let SD call us whenever she wants.  :thumbs_up:  The agent also said that if we have problems with contacting SD while she's with BM for two weeks then we can contact her and ask her to get involved.  (We asked for this and she agreed.)  And the agent will be doing a 'home study' with SD and BM during the two weeks that SD is spending summer vacation at BM's!  Which is great because then BM and the BF will have to be nicer to SD!  :thumbs_up:

I'll tell you, trying to keep up with these BM's and keep them from messing up people's (and kids) lives is exhausting!