Child Custody

[MinisterC]

I was never married to my sons' mother. However, It was I who took her to court to pay Child Support. She only would let me see my son if I agreed to buy something or send her money.

We are both married. HOwever, I have never met her husband. She tells my son that I am NOT his father. Whenever I call to speak to him. She degrates me in front of him. She calls me and my wife out of our names.

I recently took him to the dentist on one of his visits with me and the dentist said that his teeth were "seriously neglected". I have a written statement from him as well as some recorded phone conversations and message that were left on my phone.

I am looking to obtain full custody of my son.  What is the best way to go about handling this situation? What other information should I obtain?  I don't have access to any of his school records because she refuses to put me on the emergency contact list. He's 5 years old and he didn't know what letter his name started with. I NEED HELP.

I have other children and he has a magnificient relationship with them whenever he stays with us. Any information given is greatly appreciated.  

[CustodyIQ]

Hi,

What do your current court orders say on the time that he is with you?

What do your current court orders say with regard to custody?  You have joint legal custody?  She has sole physical and legal?

[MinisterC]

Visitation is based on what we agree to.  He lives with her and she is the legal guardian.  

I was thinking that maybe, I should go for 50/50 first. Then, from there to full custody.

[Lawmoe]

It would seem that the dental neglect issue is important.  However, that alone is unlkikely to swing a case.  Your statements about disparaging remarks will be difficult to prove and something the motehr will undoubtedly contest. Eveen if true, that may not make it to a threshhold to change custody.

Once custody has been determined, it is difficult to change. You are fighting against a Status Quo.  IThat means you must be able to hit the ballout of the park.  

You may wish to aschedule a Motion far enough in the future to and then serve discovery requests to acquire the necessary school and medical records.  

[Lawmoe]

No. If you do file a Motion, you should seek sole custody and, in teh alternativce ask for extra time.  If you ponly seek joint custody, your filing looks oddly inconsistent.  How can a parent be appropriate half the time but not for other time.

[joni]

When the parents are not married, most states award sole custody to the mom automatically.  Lawmoe is right, you need to hit this out of the park to go from sole custody HER to sole custody YOU.

So what are your options, file for custody and hope her atty is terrible is one option where you might win.  You could try to mediate it, make her an offer she can't refuse and maybe she'll give you custody.  Other noncustodial parents have gotten it this way by continuing to pay child support even tho they have the child.  These are two extremes and just my thoughts.