New to this site and to this board - HELP!

[4_Great_kids]

Hi everyone,
First, I hope I won't seem like I'm too lazy to search through all of the posts here first before I leave my own.  I'm just in a fog right now and I hope I can post a quick note and see what happens.

In a nutshell:
My ex-wife is the custodial parent of my four kids 15,13,11,9.  We have joint custody.  My ex is now engaged and planning a summer wedding in 2006.  The problem is that her new fiance lives 90 miles away and my ex will live there and wants the kids to go with.

Currently I live just 3 blocks away (by design) so that I can be close to the kids and be active in their lives.  I DON'T want them to move that far away, leave the community, leave the schools they are in, and not be close enough to me where I can see them on a daily basis like I do now.

I have nothing written in my marital settlement agreement that prevents them from leaving.  Am I helpless to let them go?  Right now I am just depressed whenever I think about this subject and it's hard to think straight, but I know I need to put a plan together soon.  

Any help would be greatly appreciated - even if it's just pointers to previous posts!  I will also begin perusing the posts now too.  Thanks.

[wysiwyg]

Hi and welcome.

Sorry to hear of your situation.  I would suggest a few things here that might be able to help you out.  First I would post this question on Soc's board, but be sure to read the board rules first!

Second I would suggest that you go here http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/resources.php
and look into state resources.  I would look for state statues that might relate to this situation.

Hope this is a start for you.

[4_Great_kids]

Thank you for the post!  This is what I was hoping for... :)

It's incredible sometimes how a reply like yours can help to lighten things enough to feel like I can do this.  I appreciate the support, and I know I will be able to help others on here as well.

Thanks again!

[janM]

Also, go to the Articles section on this site. There are a few on preventing move-aways.

If you have daily contact like you say, hopefully a judge will not disrupt the status quo. If there is nothing in your papers, you'll probaby have to file something in court, maybe even a restraining order to keep the kids there till a hearing can take place.

Good luck.

[evalisto2005]

If she will not be leaving the state I don't know what can be done. But in some states they believe that a far move that would result in such a big change would cause irreparable damage to the children and co-parent.

Even if that's not written, you can do your best to have an attorney fight for what you belive is best. I also know that in some states, if certain things are done routinely kind of, it's eaier to get those things put into a court order. I'm half asleep and actually made my 1st post tonight but I hope that helped.

[4_Great_kids]

Yes, every post helps!  Thank you for taking the time to reply!  

[4_Great_kids]

Thank you for the suggestion.  I am by nature a conflict-avoider, and I fear that may have played a part in surrendering the custodial rights in a way that was far too general.  Who would have known that in a metropolitan area as big as Chicago that my ex would hook up with someone that lives 90 miles away!
Thanks again. I will look for the articles.