What to expect

[Shanni]

I am filing for a CPO in the morning but have  no clue what to expect with the process.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated

[MissDesire]

Can you please state what CPO stands for? There are alot of applications for the abbreviation, then hopefully more peeps can help you!

~Des

[ocean]

I am guessing a protective order???  If you were married to the person or they are family, you can file in family court. If you have a police report and charges were made against the other person then you can go through criminal court regardless if they are family or not.

You fill out paperwork saying why you need the restraining order...someone types it while you wait, you go in front of a judge and they ask you what is going on. Judge decides. If judge says yes, the sheriff will serve the other party within 24 hours if they can find them. You supply them with home / work address and description. The order will say to stay away from you until the court date and when to return to court...usually within 10 days. At the next hearing, the other person can fight why they should not have the order placed on them and you prove your case. The judge will then extend or drop the order of protection.

[Shanni]

Yes I was able to get an ex-parte protection order against the boys mother, due to her threatening to come beat me upside the head.  We go back to court on the 24th to make it permanent. We were notified by the boys grandmother that she was planning to come from new jersey to ohio to visit with out contacting up first.  We have permanant custody of the children and she has "reasonable" visitations.  She has been told due to her threatening me that she was not allowed on our property how ever she believes she is above what she is told she is aloud to do concerning my household and life.  She had been sent a letter by our attorney stating that her actions were harassing and menacing, and that in ohio they could be considered stalking.  After she recieved that letter she still continued to call the house phone when told she could contact her children from 7-8 pm daily, or leave voicemail for them and they would call back between that hour.  We only left the US Mail as her option for comunications with us as she was abusing the email and cell phone with text msgs.  She also had the attorney's information to go through also if she needed faster communication.  Fortuentely for us she didnt show up this week, but I also feel like I am no longer her victim.  I have finally stood my ground with her and am done with her.  I hope on the 24th that they continue the protection order for me.  I was not able to get one for the children as she has not threatened them or verbalized that she was anyone that she was going go come and take them. 

[snowrose]

Okay, so am I understanding it correctly?  You have a protection order against the mother for you - but not for the children.  And the mother is allowed "reasonable" visitation?

I know someone in a similar situation.  What he does is drop his child off at a restaurant so that the mother can see the child.  That way the father and mother have no contact but the child is still allowed his visitation.

Realize that visitation is considered the child's right more so than the parent's right.  (Or at least it is in my neck of the woods.)  The child has a right to spend time with both parents and, unless there is a court order superceding that, if the child isn't allowed to see his mother then the mother can file a contempt order against you.

How is the mother's visitation outlined in the custody order?  Is she given specific days and times, or is it left completely open and she must contact you first?

[Shanni]

These children are my nephews.  My husband and I have had permanent custody of them for almost 4 years now.  Their mother is my husbands sister, We reside in one state and she in another. She is in a 2 abusive relationships, and has been for a few years now.  She had huge legal issues, that put her in jail for a few months.  She has tried on several occasions to set up visitations behind our backs through other family members, at our expense.  In the 4 years that we have had the children she has seen them 5 times in the past 4 years.  This had been her choice.    Up until the past 5 months or so we have been receptive to any of her visits and been very compromising on them.  Ie. her calling and saying we are on our way.. see you in 10 hours.. not happy about it but allowed it.  Then the threats started that she was going to do major bodily harm to me.  Never against the children but to me.  The protection order was obtained due the fact that I was told by other family members that she was coming to our state  without notification, and my bonifide fear of being harmed.  I have seen the aftermaths of her violent attacks and really dont want to be in the middle of them.  Nor do I want the boys involved with them as they are starting to have flashback memories of when they were with her and the police being called to the house on an average of 8 times a month. 


Custody order is completely open..she must contact us prior to visitations.  She has the ability to contact through our attorney to make these arrangements, we however at this time are working towards taking her visitations towards supervised with sobriety and drug testing done before the visit may be obtained.  We have told her that she needs to implement the requests for visits and needs to be responisible for the travel.  If we happen to back and visit other family members in  the area she lives in my husband has no issues with taking them to visit her in a nuetral public venue.  At this point anything out of the public would only be more trouble for my husband and is in the best interest of all parties.