father wins a bit long sorry

[mickey2426]

Hello we had court today and my husband won full coustody of his son. but it was only a 1/2 win. he has two sons. The mother gets to keep one and one gets to come and live with us. The mother's lawyer did not talk to he befor court so she did not know that the law gar. said that was what the boys wanted to do. We knew because are lawyer and us were early to court she was last. So we go in to court and the judge say you all have come to a new order and she was like i know nothing about anything. So her lawyer tells her about it right in court and she starts crying. I am a mother of 3 of mine are own and he has the two boys too. I would be crushed to find out that way i was going to have to send one of my kids to live with there day. But she has know this was comming. This is were it go off some were. the judge told her he would give her 3 weeks to think about it and we would all meet back in court.  After court she went off on the law gard. The law gard told her you are lucky with all you have done to the boys you are able to keep one of them. Then the law gard came over to us and said give the younger one 6 months he will be living with you too. Talk it over with your lawyer and let me know what you might like changed in the custody before court.

here is what we have can you let me know what you think. Some if it my husband does not think will work. But you do not know.
CUSTODY FOR

As of 2-9-06  will live with his father,  will live with his mother.  dad will have full custody of XXX. mom will have full custody of xxx.

Pick-up between 4:30 and 5:30 pm Friday or Thursday if no school on Friday.  Must call if at different time, After 5:30 if no phone call visation for that weekend is cancaled.
Drop off between 6 pm-7pm Sunday or Monday if no school on Monday. Must call if droping off early.

 Mother picks up and drops off at fathers home for her weekends and fathers picks up and drops off for his weekends at mothers home on his weekends.

Pick ups and drops off as this pull up out side the home and the child runs out to car. He will be ready.
NO discussion at transfers. All commication must be done over the phone or by mail.

The children can not be used to give messages to the other parent.

All phone calls before 9 pm on school nights and before 10 pm on non- school nights.
If parent calls when child not home the other parent must have the child call back as soon as they can.

Both parents can take the children on vacation out of state for up to 12 days. As long as it does not fall on the other parents visation time. With 10 days notice. Must give were they are going and were they are going to be staying and phone numbers to be reached at. The children must call home every 3 days that they are gone on vacation.

The childerns residents is in New York State.

When it comes to Thanksgiving and Christmas as follows
The parent that has thanksgiving has the children the days before and after Thanksgiving The parent that has Christmas eve will pick up Dec 23 between 4:30 and 5:30 pm.  The parent that has Christmas afternoon will pick up at noon on Christmas day.
Thanksgiving 2006 will be that Moms and Dads 2007
Christmas eve and Christmas morning will be at Mom's 2006 and Dads 2007

The mother has the children on mother's day
The father has the children on father's day

If any of the siblings b-day fall on a weekend or a day off from school that parent can have both boys on that weekend .
Birthdays are


We have had a few fights at pick ups and drops offs and phone calls to and from her home have been very hard. she calls at any time she wants and yells and screams when the boys are not awake. she called once over the summer at 11pm and when we told her that they were sleeping she told us we were lyers and that she wanted to talk to them. She then called the cops and had them come to are house to make sure the boys were ok. because we would not let her talk to them.
we go back to court in 3 weeks but i need to get this to are lawyer on monday so he can look it over and send it to her lawyer and the law gard. thank you for your help. oh the boys are 12 and 11

[mickey2426]

i really need to know a few things before i give this to are lawyer on monday
thank you shell

[ocean]

You are missing a lot...Read the visitation plans on this site but here is what I think you should add....
*exact times (why are you giving an hour?)
*All the rest of the holidays (all school breaks, long weekends)
*State "every other weekend"
*Summers??? Exact dates if you had issues before...
*Will they stay at the same school?
PS I hope these are not your names because this is a public forum  :)
Good luck!

[cowboy crazy]

I think you need to spell out more things:

Weekends:  EOW - the 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends beginning at XXX time on Friday and ending at XXX time on Sunday.  

Weekend Extended by a Holiday: If a weekend of possession begins on a Friday that is a holiday or if the period ends on or is immediatley followed by a Monday then that said weekend visit will begin on that Thursday at XXX time or will end on Monday at XXX time.

Week Day Visit - Is there going to be anything like this?  If so it is usually on like Wednesday or Thursday for like 2-3 hours.

Christmas Holidays need to be spelled out exactly: In even number years dad with have both boys from XXX time on the day school lets out until 12 on Christmas Day.  
In odd numbered years dad will have both boys from 12 on Christmas day until XXX time the day before school resumes

Thanksgiving Holiday - In odd numbered years dad will have both boys from XXX time that school lets out until XXX time the day before school resumes.

Spring Break:  In odd numbered years dad will have both boys from XXX time the day school lets out until XXX time the day before school resumes.

Summer Visit:  This really needs to be spelled out.  Usually the NCP will get 4 weeks in the summer with so much advanced notice to the CP but since you will have 1 child and she will have 1 then I would say split the summer down the middle - you get 6 weeks with both boys and she gets 6 weeks with both boys.  Something like that.

Summer Weekend Possesion - Usually if the summer visit is more than 4 weeks the other parent gets 2 weekends of their choice with advanced notice.

Then you need to spell out:  Easter, 4th Of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Halloween.

Be very specific because if the 2 cannot communicate then anything that is left in a "gray" area will cause major problems!  Think everything out and spell it all out so there cannot be any questions. List all times and everything!

Congrats and goodluck!

[mickey2426]

we gave a hour due to we live 1 1/2 hours apert from each other and in ny with winter things just happen. plus we both have younger childern. If one of the boys has to stay after school or anything. and we have to leave late we would not get there to allmost 5:30

[marnbuk]

My DH tried that pick up and drop off between this time and this time because he worked so much it was hard on him. It worked all of three months. Then it was back to he said she said. That doesnt work!!! You will burden yourself. It seems it may work better for everyone to meet halfway for each visit at a set time. I would also ask for geographical restrictions to ensure these children keep contact with each other. You have missed a lot of information. Dont get so caught up in the now that you forget about the later. The goal is to stay out of court!!! Think it through. Think about the flaws that could later come up. Split the holidays even between BM and BF. Set a specific time and location and make sure these two children still have time with each other. You cant gaurantee you will have both children eventually.