Mediation- how do I deal with an alienating parent?

[JadedMom]

I posted a few weeks ago looking for some good advise for mediation.
Was told by my attorney today that the X is refusing to go. It is not court ordered, but the Judge said they would not schedule anymore hearings until mediation was complete.

In the past few weeks, X has been pretty busy doing everything possible to ensure my relationship w/ our child is stressed.
1. Refusing to sign medical/dental releases allowing me access to records
2. not permitting me to exercise my full 30 minute telephone parenting time (child tells me, "I have to get off the phone now" (after 3 minutes of conversation)
3. sending more nasty text messages to me
4. telling our child things about the legal proceedings
5. and the latest- both the X and his new significant other yelling at me while I was speaking on the phone with our child.

I have done what I can to try speak with our child, I don't want her to think any of this is her fault.  She thinks the X is, "trying to erase" me from her life. (Her quote).
I have documentation of all texts, phone calls and have forwarded all items to my lawyer.
What weight will all of this documentation carry when we return to court, we currently have a temp. order and will be asking Judge for perm. order. ?
I am hoping to increase my parenting time currently, but am also going to attempt for custody at some point down the road. I need to play the waiting game and collect evidence to give me a solid cause of action so that the custody can be addressed.
I have read about others who were able to get custody reversed when the Judge was made aware of how the CP was violating court orders, alienating the NCP, etc...  If anyone has any good advise please comment.

[MissDesire]

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!

That is the best when faced with an alienating parent. Be sure not to do any alienating in return, usually the parent doing the alienating has no idea the child is building up resentment towards that parent for trying to "erase" the other parent from their life.

Be sure you document not only the negative interactions you witness, but any interactions you have with the children that show you are a competent individual, whether it be you taking her to the doctor, helping her with her homework, etc. (I don't know how old she is, but you get the picture).

The fact that your child is old enough to be aware of the alienating does help. She understands what they are doing to her, and could grow to resent the other parent.

Do you have any idea when you will return to court for permanent custody? If you are going to try for custody it is always best to have at least a year of documentation. And I wouldn't wait to try for custody if that is your ultimate goal. It is much harder to change a parenting plan once it is set, because it is in the best interests of the children, and the court generally dislikes modifications if the current custody arrangements are working.

I don't know if you can file for a motion of contempt or not until you have a permanent order, it would be something worth looking into on your state's court website.

Best of luck to you!

[CuriousMom]

Our judge read every email/text and based his decision upon them.  It's a pain but in my experience having more written communication versus verbal was a help for me during trial.  My son's father practically lied about everything on the stand and then had to back peddle and dig himself out when my attorney presented these written communications. 

I'd recommend documenting everything and hang in there!  Be the better parent and explain to your daughter as best you can it's not her fault.

[JadedMom]

I hope that the Judge will take the time to read through all the nasty texts he has sent to me.
I have been practicing the "low-contact" approach, and it does not seem to be working very successfully. It has resulted in the CP sending me many inappropiate texts, to which I do not respond. (It would only be a way to open the flood gates for further arguements.)
I exercised my parenting time with dau. between New Years and the end of her holiday break from school. I tried to make it a fun time for us, sledding, baking her favorite pie together, going to a movie, having one of her friends over to play, etc....
During our time together, she asked me if I would take her to have her hair trimmed and styled as she had not had a haircut since August.  I took her in and she had 1/2 inch trimmed off and they curled her hair in spiral curls. (Very adorable!)
Three days after she returned to the X's house, I received a text stating that I did not have permission to cut her hair. X said dau. told him I told her to lie to him about her haircut- (I said no such thing) and that this issue would be "dealt" with. I did not respond, however I did update my attorney- he could not believe the X's reaction.
Next step- we go to court to attempt to modify (increase) my parenting time. Date has not yet been set.
X has still not signed release forms for my access to medical/dental information, still refuses to attempt mediation, still limits my telephone parenting time with dau., has made no attempt to reimburse prior daycare expenses from prior court order.
Meanwhile, I have been doing all I can to stay positive and focused on doing what is best for our dau.
I just pray that when we do go in front of the Judge they will take note of all of his bad behavior (for lack of a better term) and see fit to allow dau. and I to spend more time together.  I also hope that the Judge may be able to persuade X to straighten up and act in a more cooperative manner- but I won't hold my breath on that one.