Is my Lawyer right...

[Asergea]

I paid my Lawyer to help me in a custody dispute with the GM, She and I are practically the same in our ability to raise my Daughter, only she lives in a town with a couple of members of her family there.

I took Child First aid and Life Savers (AHA) as well as a parenting course, She took a parenting course like wise.

So dispite some outbursts to the supervisor from the GM and her Mother.
You could say that we are 50/50 for capability,

So My Lawyer writes to me and advises that I should drop the custody Battle in favor of visitation (2 Wkends amonth and 1 month in the summer + various Holidays)
He said the case has tilted in GM's Favor.. Because the Police havent been called to their house, She moved to a place thats not as much of a crap Hole as their first place, and She has displayed a "Willingness" to cooperate.
And that Although he is willing to continue the "Custody" fight, He advises that the chances of a favorable decision by the judge was not good,  and that it could damage the "Spirit" of cooperation between me and the GM.

The reason I went for Custody was because she was saying I could see my daughter, But frustrating any attempt at a visit that would make it impossible for me to have any time with my daughter. purposfully in the hope that I would just give up and abandon her (My Daughter).

I wanted custody because I would have been fair.

I have reams of Emails going back and fourth that prove she was deliberately frustrating any visitation.

why is my lawyer advising me to give it up?

Is he trying to get out of a court fight?

Is he being lazy?

I could have just filed the papers for visitation myself, I would have been garenteed visitation regardless, Based on me not having a bad record of anyting whatsoever, and me having an appropriate place for my daughter to stay and no

Has anyone been through the same?

If so, What happened?

 Thanks in advance.

[msme]

Is your lawyer a Board certified Family Law & Custody Specialist? If not, fire him & hire one that is. Next, why does the GM have custody in the first place?
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[Asergea]

GM took her out of state not long after she was born.

[CustodyIQ]

If there is significant distance between both parents, the chances are practically nil that you will get a 50/50 ruling.

If the mother is currently the primary caretaker of the child, and will have been for all of the child's life, chances of you getting custody rely on you proving one (or more) of the following things:

1.  Mother is psychologically disturbed to the point that she cannot raise a child.

2.  Mother is a drug addict who neglects her child.

3.  Mother is an active alcoholic who is frequently drunk while caring for her child.

4.  Mother is exposing the child to dangerous people.

5.  Mother abuses or severely neglects the child.


If you can prove any of those things, you likely have no chance of getting custody.

Your odds of a 50/50 outcome will improve significantly (but still a challenge) if you move to the same town where the mother lives.

[Asergea]

I Cannot, Because she has done none of these things..

I suppose I'd Better just Take it as fair and make the best of it..

Thank you all for your advice and help.

[rltfox]

I don't know how great your distance is, but if you can still go for joint custody. The mother have the child during the school year with you taking visitation every other weekend/holidays/etc and the child resides with you in the summer with the mother getting eow/holidays/etc. Or vice versa.  Joint custody doesn't necessarily mean back & forth every week.  Good luck.

[msme]

If she continually interfers with your visitation, there is cause for a change but you must prove it. If you are in a one party state, you should record any conversation with her. When it is your visitation, send a certified letter of intent to exercise your visitation to her ahead of time, each time. Keep the receipts that she signed for it or if she won't sign, the letters will come back to you. Keep them, unopened & you can show them at court.

Where are you supposed exchange? It should be at a neutral place. Police station parking lots work well because they have surveillence cameras & help is near by if you need it.

Never go to pick up alone. On your way, stop & buy gas or a soda or something at the closest place to the pick up. If she doesn't show go back & buy something else. Keep both receipts. If she is there, have the person with you record the exchange on video.

Never answer her calls the night before or the morning of the visit. That way she can't just call & cancel. When you have three incidents, file 3 counts of contempt on her. You probably won't win the first couple of times but if you do it several times & you have all the evidence, the judge will eventually have to do something about it.

good luck & God bless
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[msme]

Sorry it went twice so I just cut it.

good luck & God bless
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[mishelle2]

DO NOT GIVE UP SO EASY!!! noone on here is an attorney, therefore we are just speculating as to what may or may not happen,,  Why is the child with the grandmother and not the mother? If your attorney isnt doing what you want then fire him and find someone who will.. he works for you. Remember with the judge you have a 50/50 chance if you give up and settle for less than you may deserve your stuck with it. I would go for it.. better to go for it and loose, than to not go at all.. if you loose you can prove to your daughter when shes older that you tried and she'll respect you for it, if you win.. well I dont think anything needs to be said for that..  

just my opinion definetly not legal advice..

[Asergea]

Thank you,
I will do what you advise, and I will make sure that if this happens I will document everything. I appreciate your advice.
A.