Really confused...

[dontunderstand]

We had my SD this weekend and her I and DD went shopping.  While we were shopping BM MOM called me.  She told me that BM is refusing to let her, grandpa and aunts and uncles talk to SD.  She said that she called and talked to SD therapist who told her BM is being "unreasonable"  She asked me to talk to SD.  I told her that anytime they want to talk to her it would be alright.  I also told her I would talk to DH about letting SD see them on our time.  He agreed and we did let them spend a few hours together.  (They gave us a card thanking us for letting them " assure SD that they do love her and always will" and for our "generous spirits")
She told me, "my daughter needs help"  She said that she has been trying to get her some help and things have gone from bad to worse.  She did not want to discuss what was going on.  I understand these people have not like DH or I from jump.  I am concerned.  BM does this to everyone, she alinates everyone from her and SD for any dumb reason.  I am concerned because she was obviously very concerned about SD to call and talk to me of all people and to tell me that her daughter "needs help".
I have know BM is all about herself, always has been.  She dosen't care about SD welfare, let alone her best interest as shown by cutting off SD from BM own family.  
There is so much more, but just not enough time or energy to post it all.
Is there ANYTHING we can do to get SD away from this PFB and keep her safe???

[CustodyIQ]

If there are new events in the mother's home that have unfolded, and if the mother's own family is willing to testify that it's in the child's best interest for the father to have sole custody... it should be a slam dunk.

Sounds like your biggest first challenge is to figure out exactly what has happened in mom's home that has caused her to alienate her whole family.

The BEST thing that could happen for everyone is to get mom some help, if she needs it.  Likely, a court must order it, for there to be any shot at getting her help.

If she gets help and gets better, then the child has a healthier mother, the mother has better ties to her family, and you also have less chaos to deal with.

So... maybe the father can help convince her family of this point.

[Sunshine1]

This is the whole reason we obtained custody of the boys.  BM was sleeping with every man that walked past her and she freely admitted things to the evaluator.  She was also pregnant at the time of the divorce and she had absolutely no problems telling that evaluator that the child to be's father was one of 4 men.

BM's parents could not believe the life she was leading and stood up for DH and took his side.  They begged the evaluator to get her some court ordered help, they begged the court to get her some help.  In the end the evaluator said in her report that "BM's sexual promiscuity was inhibiting her ability to parent."  WOW!  I don't think I would ever want that on a piece of paper about me in front of a judge...but it happened and she is still the same, just crazier now.

I would completely make nice with the Grandma, she has already said too much so if she is serious about getting her daughter some help, she would have no problems telling an evaluator what she told you.  Got to strike fast though before they kiss and make up.  I would record every single conversation with her if she calls again.  Evaluators love to hear that stuff, and then if they go on to tell them a whole different story it loses their credibility if they were once on your side and then switch.  Save the letter or card they sent you.  Were you up for a custody battle?  LOL.

How have ya been doing otherwise?  Haven't seen ya much on here.  What's the BM been up to anyway, did the GM tell you anything specific?

I got a present yesterday.  I thought I would check BM's license again just for fun, its been vaild for 2-3 months now.....guess what..the word "SUSPEND" popped up, and I did the Irish jig.  She's been driving too, so I get to have some fun with her the next couple weeks.  I know, I know, I should leave her alone ...........Buuuuuuuttt, I'm not.  )(

[dontunderstand]

So since we have to take everything through an arbitrator, what needs to happen now so that we can get a GAL or evaluator??? (I don't think mom will be stupid to tell of ANY of her wrong doings ;( )

[dontunderstand]

Sunshine~ I know no specifics she didn't want to tell me, but I understand.  It had to take A LOT for her just to call she hates me and DH.  I have no clue what the @#$^ BM is up too, but as psycho as she is, I can only imagine.  SD called tonight, but she "had to sneak" then she got busted.  I feel so bad for her!!!  She just called to tell us "thank you" for letting her see her g-ma.  She said she "sneaked" to call them too.  The arbitrator/therapist is one that thinks the child should stay with mom, so I bet the @#%*& will get away with all of this BS again.  The only thing that I am thankful for is that SD is seeing who we really are and who the crazy one really is...
As for you I would not leave her alone either, they just put us through WAY too much!!!  
Keep in touch!