pas nightmare

[reneepals]

My son has been to social workers, Nurse Practitioners, and therapists for the last 1 1/2 years. He has been on every type of drug you can possibly think of but no success as of yet. The reactions to these meds has been a nightmare, tantrums,  self inflicted beatings, lashing out at me, his father, and Deena. Whenever they had trouble, they would always call me and I would run to the house and try to extinguish the problem. There were months on end that he would refuse to go over his dads or that they would refuse to let him over there. On Oct 11Th my x's wife lets call her DM Barred Sal Jr. from ever going over there again. In all that time I was taking him to therapy trying to repair the relationship between them, Telling my son that it was his dad and he needed to be with him also. Sal got suspended from school the day before Christmas break for swearing at the teacher. I took all his video games, computer privileges and DVD, Cd's away from him. I convinced him to see his dad two days before Christmas, he went for a couple of hours and then came home.   I told his dad what had happened and what I had done for punishment he agreed that if Sal went over there that he would have the same punishment.Then a couple of days after Christmas he went for a sleep over, when he came home he was acting really different, snapping at me and Ed. Saying things like he didn't have to listen to Ed he was not his father, telling me that I should be more like DM and Daddy, that they were not making a big deal about the suspension. I told him to stop that his dad agreed with my punishment. He then told me that that was a lie because his dad let him stay up until 1:00 in the morning playing PlayStation. When I confronted his father about this he denied ever agreeing with me about that punishment and that I was blowing things out of proportion, Call me crazy but when a 12 yr old tells a teacher to give me the f------ paper and shut the hell up . My punishment wasn't that off track. He then slept over his dad's Martin Luther King weekend. Same thing when he came home he was disrespectful, depressed, weird , he just wasn't himself . Picking fights with me, my sister, my mom. It just wasn't like him. It seemed like he was distancing himself from us. Well on Jan. 18Th 2006, my son had a reaction to Concerta & Trileptal. We were doing his home work and he was getting very aggravated, I told him that we had only one thing more to do , put his book binder in order,and we would then go out to eat like he wanted. Well he freaked out he was calling me dirty filthy names, telling me he wanted me to die, destroying his room and breaking furniture in the house. I knew this was a reaction to the meds, because of past experience. My Fiancee Ed was working late and my older son Dave was too . At that point I called his dad because I didn't want to get the police involved, my son already has many labels I didn't want him to get another.Now looking back in retrospect I know that I should have called the police, I wish I had called the police. His dad told me that he couldn't make it to my house that he was on the road and would send Deena. I asked him if he thought that was a good idea , seeing that little Sal and DM had just started seeing each other again.He said he would send his business partner Charlie with her, I then agreed. When I let Sal Jr. know in all this chaos that Charlie & DM were coming over he went insane hitting me, pushing my kitchen island witch is huge at me . I then grabbed him put him on the floor and pinned his arms down, so he would not hurt himself or me. I finally calmed him down enough for him to get up and go into his room. DM at this point knocked on my door I let her in, when my son saw her he came after me with a pencil and said he wanted to kill me and rip my throat out. She stopped him and carried him in to his room to calm him down. Charlie also showed up and came in, he proceeded to blast Sal Jr. for everything that was going on. DM then came into the living room and told me that she had to hold Sal back with everything she had and that is exactly what he did to her to make her bar him from her home. DM then told me that she thought Sal should go to there house to calm down until Ed got home, because both of us were in no condition to be together alone. I agreed (Bad move) only because I was in shock that my son would or could ever do and say the things he said to me, the house ,his room everything was in shambles.When they left I called my sons nurse practitioner and told her what happened she felt that Sal needed to go to a partial hospital program , so a team of Doctors could see just what was going on , because we were not getting any results from doing what we doing. She was going to make the referral in the morning and me and Sal's dad would have to go on an interview. I agreed and told her I would let his dad know. Well this is when the incredible, manipulating, devious bull-crap for lack of a better word started happening.I called his dad he was acting Funny, I told him about the plan that Joan  had come up with and he said he didn't want to talk about it at this point. That he was not going to mention it to my son or discuss what happened with him until the morning. I asked him how my son was and he said he was doing fine playing PlayStation. ?  I thought that was weird after all that had transpired. He told me to call him in the morning and we would discuss it then. The next day I called Sal Sr. I called multiple times trying to reach him , he was avoiding my calls. When I finally got in touch with him, he thought I was his wife and picked up the call on his cell phone, when he heard my voice he said how the hell did I get you on the phone, I ignored that comment and started questioning what we were going to do about my son. He then accused me of beating my son and that he was going to report me to DCF. I was in shock . I told him he knew damn well that I did not beat my son. He then told me that because I was taking him back to court for child support, he was going to make me pay, That he was going to solve the problem once and for all and shut me up forever. He said I was never going to see my son again. That me and the doctors made up the ADHD and ODD diagnosis, because giving meds was easier then dealing with the problem. The dcf person came to my house, interviewed me and told me that she felt there was no abuse that this was retaliation, that I have done everything one person could do to get the mental help that my son needed and not to leave court with out the judge letting
me see my son. Well Guess what when I went to court the judge refused to hear my case until the dcf report is done. The system is horrible I haven't seen my son in over a month, he was appointed a gal , who has yet to speak to me and made a appointment to speak to me and my older boys on February 27Th. Meanwhile I call to speak to my son and get the answering machine . When I do get a hold of someone they ask my son if he wants to speak to me and he refuses, acting mean and disrespectful. I do not get it, my son adored me, we had such a bond. there is so much more I could tell you but , I need to know before I go any further, how much do you cost? I am just about exhausted financially, paying for my attorney. Everyone tells me that I also have to pay for the GAL.  Should I keep on calling my son to try to repair our relationship? I sent my son candy and Valentine Days cards from my family and friends certified mail. He called me to thank me and that is all he said, and in the background I can hear on my answering machine dm telling my son "that's it" after he was done thanking me and then he hung up. I fell like they are coaching him, because his behavior is not normal. My son used to be fun loving and a clown. Now all he can manage is hateful words and actions towards my Family and I . My court hearing is on march 9Th and I feel so overwhelmed and unprepared. Should i still try to call even with my sons hostile attitude toward me or wait for the court hearing? I am so confused

[mishelle2]

these are just my opinions, not legal advice or even close...
has your son had any problems since these outbursts? How is he doing in school? I see that you are at your ropes end and cannot handle your son, maybe for now if your sons father can handle him, he should care for him, you mentioned that you called him when you couldnt handle him, therefore you may have done extreme damage to you image with the courts and your ability to care for your son, you should speak with him about giving you visitation, I know alot of the side effects from the drugs prescribed to kids can actually make them worse, and when they do not have time to adapt from one drug to another, that creates a terrible affect. I would try to go to counseling, sounds like your gonna need it.  just an observation

[reneepals]

This is so frustrating.... My son has been having outburst in school were his dad has been called in on numerous occasions since Jan 18th. He threw his writing assignment in the trash and told the teacher to f -off,. The punishment they came up with was an apology letter. His social studies teacher states that he is out of control. The parental alienation on My ex's and his wifes part are very dangerous to my sons well being. My son and I were very close before this terrible incident, our realationship is one of the most important realtionships he will evr have , if he is not made to deal with what happened,...... How are his coping skills going to be in other realationships with women. The gal in my case still has not met with me and my older children, he was appointed on jan27th, he called today to reschedule his appointment, I still do not know what he looks or sounds like and my court case is march 9th, does that sound like biased behaviour on his part?