a quick question or two...

[bloom6372]

Hey everyone I just had a really quick question... My DH took a co-parenting class online in October, which included a regular parenting class with additional teachings for co-parenting. He has the certificate for it (and a few copies of that certificate should he ever need to provide it to BM and/or the FOC or Court). The class was like either 8 or 12 hours worth of class (I can't remember). I was curious if he would need to retake that this year or next? We paid around $100 for the course, and it was one approved for the state/county they go through. I just don't know if it's something he should have to retake every year, or if once is good enough? He plans on trying for primary custody next summer, when we have returned to the U.S. (based on a lot of things, most of which I've never posted on here...I just come here for the "legal" stuff most of the time and post the rest elsewhere), so I didn't know if he would have to do it again before that? It wasn't COed to do--he just did it to be proactive, as well as to make sure that he knew he was handling stuff right with BM....

Also, another quick question... Is there anything he can do now to prepare for a custody evaluation? Like a psych eval, or a home eval (we can do it through an adoption agency here, or wait until we get back to the States next April), or anything other than documenting? We want to get as much out of the way as possible before he files. Any ideas on how to prepare over the next year?

[MixedBag]

I've taken a similar class, two or three times, and only when court ordered.  It's not an annual requirement or anything. 

As for the home eval.....I wouldn't be proactive and do that either.  Particularly since you're moving again, and since it costs so much. 

In all the years with the three divorces, we/I never had one.  During the last round, our son had a GAL, and that was new.  She interviewed our son and Dad in person, and me over the phone (750 miles away)....so again, a home eval wasn't ordered or done.

During EX#3's stuff, I remember now -- as I type -- a home eval was ordered, and we objected and asked that one NOT be done (mainly because of distance and having one see us in AL, and one see her in NV) because we were not objecting to her home living conditions, well HE, Dad was asking for custody because mom wasn't sending the kids when she was supposed to and interfering with his relationship with them (quite literally returning mail, no phone number, and trashing mail instead of giving it to them).

[bloom6372]

I've taken a similar class, two or three times, and only when court ordered.  It's not an annual requirement or anything. 

As for the home eval.....I wouldn't be proactive and do that either.  Particularly since you're moving again, and since it costs so much. 

In all the years with the three divorces, we/I never had one.  During the last round, our son had a GAL, and that was new.  She interviewed our son and Dad in person, and me over the phone (750 miles away)....so again, a home eval wasn't ordered or done.

During EX#3's stuff, I remember now -- as I type -- a home eval was ordered, and we objected and asked that one NOT be done (mainly because of distance and having one see us in AL, and one see her in NV) because we were not objecting to her home living conditions, well HE, Dad was asking for custody because mom wasn't sending the kids when she was supposed to and interfering with his relationship with them (quite literally returning mail, no phone number, and trashing mail instead of giving it to them).

I'm glad to know he doesn't have to do it every year...Poor DH--he's dyslexic, and all of the material was in writing. It took him forever to read it all and to take all the exams. I don't want him to have to struggle like that over and over again. So, good news

We will hold off on the home eval...I wasn't thinking about the whole moving making it have to be redone. We are pretty sure BM will try to get whatever she can to be done to drag out the case once he files, so we just want to be proactive about it. They've never had a custody battle before--both times custody was done outside of Court with a judge signing off on it (we have had court hearings, but not for custody, for other issues).

Thanks

[ocean]

We never did an evaluation either, we had a GAL for kids who interview us, ex, and the kids by themselves.

Home study from what I understand, they would want to know/see where you are living so you would have to wait for that. I know you said you think you have enough for custody but really think about this. Without neglect, most judges will not change schools/custody especially when you guys have not be having reg visits first. I do not want to sound neg, and you have a lot of concerning issues but you are going to spend a lot of money fighting this and it could go on for 1-2 years depending on the judge. Have you thought about going for a new parenting plan and asking for almost a 50/50 plan? Be a good idea to move into her school district too if you want that so school is not an issue.

[bloom6372]

We never did an evaluation either, we had a GAL for kids who interview us, ex, and the kids by themselves.

Home study from what I understand, they would want to know/see where you are living so you would have to wait for that. I know you said you think you have enough for custody but really think about this. Without neglect, most judges will not change schools/custody especially when you guys have not be having reg visits first. I do not want to sound neg, and you have a lot of concerning issues but you are going to spend a lot of money fighting this and it could go on for 1-2 years depending on the judge. Have you thought about going for a new parenting plan and asking for almost a 50/50 plan? Be a good idea to move into her school district too if you want that so school is not an issue.

DH is trying to get recruiting duty in SD's city, but he doesn't get to choose where he's stationed, so we can't move into SD's district unless his recruiting is approved. There aren't any Marine bases near SD, either, so unless he gets recruiting, we wouldn't be able to do 50/50.

We have more stuff than I've posted here (a LOT more--almost 3 filing cabinet drawers full) to prove educational and medical neglect, as well as showing her unwillingness to cooperate with the CO (over 70 violations). We've spoken to mulitple attorneys who all said that once DH is in the State, he will have a very solid case for custody. There's just way too much to post here, and I usually post on another board for all of the other issues.

[ocean]

I hope your are right...
If there is true educational neglect the school should be calling Child Protective Service on her, same for the medical (either dr or school). Family court is a whole different animal and they will not pull a child and give custody away from mommy without CPS involved. Once she finds out what you are doing, she will be mother of the year and most times nothing will change. Plus, she may start brainwashing the child that daddy wants to take you away and soon the child will be telling you she does not like you and wont come to visits. She may even ask child to testify that she wants to stay with her.

It really depends on where you will be living...hopefully he will get at least IN her state or else you will be dealing with mom getting long distance visitation which again will not happen without the state taking child away or mom giving child to you.

Keep documenting everything, take lots of pictures this parenting time. (have you in some alone with her, him alone).
Good luck.