Thoughts on the wording?

[bloom6372]

What do you feel "affirmative obligation" means?

DH got an email from BM in response to his email stating that if he stays in the state for a few days when he brings SD back from his parenting time this summer that he would keep SD. Of course, BM replied "The order states 'At such other and futher times as the parties may AGREE; provided defendant shall have an affirmative obligation...' And I do not agree so SD will be to me by CO-DATE". She should have finished her own train of thought....Their CO states: "At such other and further times as the parties may agree; provided, defendant (BM) shall have an affirmative obligation to make the child avaialbel for visits when plaintiff's military obligations allow him to travel to the State of STATE and he provides her with advanced notice." DH is traveling on planes for 24 hours. He is going to have a day or two to stay before he flies back. Based on the wording, it seems he should be able to keep her with him. Are we right in that? Doesn't her having an "affirmative obligation" mean that she is required to allow visitation with DH when he is in her state? Yeah, it's only a day or two, but he goes MONTHS at a time without seeing her, so that day or two would mean the world to them. To BM it's just a way to prevent DH from having any additional time (she already tries to limit what is spelled out and COed...It's no surprise she'd try to limit this as well...)

[msme]

Sounds like you have it right. Of course I am not as knowledgable as many others on here. I would send her another message, reiterating the CO statement she quoted, but in full, including an explaination of the statement, as it applies. Tell her that you will call when the plane lands & that you will bring her home on xx at xx time. Then I would bring her home an hour or so early, just so that she doesn't have the opportunity to have the police there when you arrive.

After you call her, put your phone on silent & go check into a hotel & enjoy the rest of the visit. What can she do? She can file contempt & you can file a counter motion to have it dismissed for no cause. Hope this works out for you. Good luck & God bless.

[ocean]

Is SD there now? I would wait to email back until you have her for visit...then send that email that you arrived safely and will be at hotel until XX as court ordered.

[MixedBag]

I think you're right -- but the bigger hurdle is to get her to you first.

I can see Mom thinking that "Dad got his XX time over the summer" and that this other time is for when he happens to be back in the states.....but I bet the courts would lean in Dad's favor.

[Kitty C.]

I wholeheartedly agree with msme....DH should tell her when he and SD arrive in her state and will bring her home at XX date and XX time.  I also agree with msme, in that I would bring her home an hour or two prior to the time previously told BM, just in case she wants the cops there.  BUT....I would also have a copy of the entire order in hand, just in case the cops show up anyway.

What could she do?  Sure, she could file for contempt, but (as ocean stated) if you've already reminded her of the ENTIRE wording of the part of the order in question, she files at her peril.  If she does, definitely file for dismissal and ask for her to pay ALL fees and charges accrued in relation to the action.  If, at any time after DH tells her this is what he's planning to do and she threatens to file contempt on him if he does, maybe he should tell her what his response would be.....if it hits her wallet, maybe she would think twice about it (unless she has unlimited resources).

It's only a control issue with her....only a control issue.  She needs to be reminded that she does NOT have control in issues regarding this, only the court does.

[bloom6372]

Thank you everyone!! I thought he/we had it right, but just had to make sure. He already typed a draft email saying something along the lines of "If you continue with the quote from the DATE Order, you will find 'FULL QUOTE'." and then went on to explain what that means. As usual, she is picking and choosing which parts of the Order to apply to suit her needs, and which parts are invalid for the current issue at hand. lol. He doesn't have the dates he will be there, only the date they are returning (as it's a COed date), as we just finished buying the plane tickets here and have to reserve the ones to fly back. But, it will only be 1-2 days. I don't see why she's making such a big deal over it...It is all about control with her. Every time. She's (very) slowly learning that she doesn't have it after the FOC put her in her place about trying to limit DH's time. DH doesn't let her do all this crap without calling her out on it. You'd THINK she'd get over herself and realize it won't fly. Of course, that's what would happen with a REASONABLE person. lol.