Fathers Visitation being refused

[Disgustedstepmom]

My husband has been battling with his childs mother for 6 years now. His child is 7 years old. When my husband found out he was the father ( the child was then one, had no clue about the child before this), he and the childs mother were not talking at all. I convinced both of them that they needed to get along and discuss what was best for the child. We started seeing the child at our home with the mothers presence for first 3 months. The child was accustomed to us by then, so we asked that the mother stay at home during the visitation. (the visitation was not court ordered at this time). At that point, we no longer saw the child unless the mother was present. She gave us the excuse that the child had seperation anxiety. We had no problem with the child when on occasion we did have her. After 4 years of not being able to see the child and given every excuse under the table that we couldnt see her, my husband took the mother to court for visitation. Both parties agreed to a mediated agreement and it was filed by the court. One month after the mediated agreement started, the mother started with her excuses, not answering the phone, or sending the child to other places and refusing to let my husband have his time with her. The mediated agreement was made two years ago. We could not make changes to this agreement (as told to us by the judge when we took it back to court) until the agreement was at least 2 years old. In the two years the agreement was active, we saw our daughter maybe ten times, and we had to go by the times the mother said because of " family coming in, or other plans that have been made." My husbands family doesnt even hardly know the child because of this. My husband has even asked the mother what she wants him to do as he has run out of ideas and hope that he will see his daughter. we have tried taking it to the police, but they say there is nothing they can do. If my husband does not kiss the mothers hand, we get screwed. She has also stated there are medical problems with our daughter that do not exist. Blood sugar problems, which she says she needs iron to help out with. Child takes no medication for, does not even get tested for blood sugar levels. To me, if she needs iron then she is anemic. She will not allow my husband to go to the doctor visits with her, and wont even tell him when his daughter is in the er. She pulled our daughter from school, first grade, mid year stating that she was having problems in school. Any suggestions on what we can do?

[Disgustedstepmom]

Further note, we did not know at the time that there was such a thing as visitation interference and what steps to take. We are not sure at this point since the order is over 2 years old, if that is even applicable or not.

[ocean]

Few things you can do.
1. Send the letter from this site "intent to visit" letter. Put in the court order wording. A court order is a court order even if it is from 2 years ago. Put in the next time you will pick up (try a weekday visit if you have that first). Go and try and pick up child on the next court ordered time. If she refuses, get a police report written up (ask the local police how to do that...some have you go there, some have you call them when it is happening and they send a car). Tell them you want a written report for court. Bring a witness with you, tape exchange if possible.

2. If she refuses visit, go to family court where the last orders were and file contempt of court paperwork. You reason "mother picks and chooses when child will go with father and will not follow the court order dated XX. Father has missed XX days in the last year. Father requests make-up time this summer/extra weekends to make -up missed time, he also requests lawyers fees, and sanctions against mother if this happens again".

3. Be very careful with how you communicate now. You do not want a harassment order against you. Only do email. If she calls, let it go to voicemail and respond by text/email ONLY an answer (no arguments over days...) "I will be following the court order" or "I will be picking xx up at xx according to the court order dated XX". Keep it very business. Less is better.

When you file in court it will take 3 weeks (little longer in summer months) to get a court date. You can ask for certain changes like pick up from daycare/school so she is not there to interfere or curb side pick up. Child comes out to you, mother not allowed outside.

Good luck and read this site. Ask other questions if you have any